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Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,562
Registered: ‎05-14-2011

Re: Do You Know Many Women over the Age of 45 Who Regret not Having Children?

I've known my whole life that it would not be a good idea for me to have children.  As my lung disease progresses, I am blessed to have my husband and parents to support me.  They definitely understand what I am going through.  I am also an elementary school teacher so I feel that I can touch the lives of children in my classroom each year. 

I'm not short...I'm fun size!
Honored Contributor
Posts: 37,274
Registered: ‎08-19-2010

Re: Do You Know Many Women over the Age of 45 Who Regret not Having Children?

Yeah, you can get your good dose and come home to peace and quiet. Haha

 

I'll never forget what I read in dear Abby years ago.  This priest said "I think everybody should have kids why should  some get to escape it".   

 

Cracked us up.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,562
Registered: ‎05-14-2011

Re: Do You Know Many Women over the Age of 45 Who Regret not Having Children?


@SharkE wrote:

Yeah, you can get your good dose and come home to peace and quiet. Haha

 

I'll never forget what I read in dear Abby years ago.  This priest said "I think everybody should have kids why should  some get to escape it".   

 

Cracked us up.


Exactly!  I feel like I fulfil my purpose of teaching and reaching children and then I can come home to my DH and just be a small family!

I'm not short...I'm fun size!
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,713
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Do You Know Many Women over the Age of 45 Who Regret not Having Children?

I think that a great way to think about having kids is....say you give birth to a baby and he or she is disabled in some way.  He or she will need to be taken care of by you for the rest of his life and will not be able to have a family of his own.   Does the thought of that make you feel as though your life was ruined, or that your life had been given a purpose? Would you imagine that to be a gift or a curse?  Anything is possible with a child.  People picture cute babies and they forget about the diffucult times.

 

 I do not know that anyone I know without kids regrets it.  They certainly do not seem to (late 40s/early 50s) and seem to be the ones in my group running marathons and taking amazing trips.  I know many, many parents who have had a tough time with their kids though.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,934
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Do You Know Many Women over the Age of 45 Who Regret not Having Children?

 

 

Having a child or children is one of the greatest responsibilities on earth.  You don't have children because your main priority is to run marathons or take amazing trips:  you have children to love them, and raise them, and try to give them what they need to be the best persons that they can be.  If you can fit in your marathons great, but if your child needs you, guess which comes first.   I suspect many of the mothers here have less sleep, less money, and less adventure than our childless sisters.

 

Having a child is not a guarantee of some type of fairytale.  Rather, for most of us, some pain is guaranteed: from child birth to our children moving away from us.  Some parents face enormous pain, the death of a child.   Children have to follow their own path not ours, and there comes a time we have to let them go. But we are not clairvoyant and cannot predict the future should we have children.  We can just do what we can:  we can't make the world or our children perfect.  Do some people regret having children?  I suppose so, the world is a big place:  I also suppose that some of those people complaining about their children were "venting" and if they could have magically made their children disappear, they would not have done so.

 

To the poster who suggested thinking about having a child with disabilities as a test, that is complicated. As far as having a child with disabilities, that is something that has to be lived, not imagined.  Depending on the disability, the help (or the lack there of), and whether your child is suffering, the experience is different from person to person.  (My severely disabled child died before he was born and I did not have the opportunity to raise him.  I would not say that I was in the same position of a parent who cares for such a child every day.  I did however, get the opportunity to think about being the mother of a disabled child and the words "opportunity" or "curse" were not words which came to mind.)

 

No, not everyone is cut out to have a child.  We, unfortunately, see examples of that constantly. 

 

And BTW, if I had wanted children and was not able to have one, I would not go around discussing that with anyone with whom I was not extremely close.  (A board like this in anonymous, so that is not the same thing.)  Also, if I had wanted a child and could not have one, I know I would have experienced sadness, but I would make an effort to take advantage of my opportunities from being childless, and live a fulfilling life.

 

Oh, as far as being too old, OP is pushing 30, not 60!  

Do the math.