Do You Have Any Unwanted Dinner Guests During Holi... - Page 4

Snowpuppy · ‎03-09-2010

One thing.....where are the men in all this? If this is uncomfortable for you or you need guests to help, why isn't your DH taking the lead and speaking up on your behalf?

At my BIL's he greets guests, sits at the head of the table, says grace and asks the guys to clear the table after a holiday meal.

I have a friend who has a busy holiday season at work. Her DH has experience in the kitchen in the military. He shops and starts meal prep. He fields calls from family & guests. He is retired and has the time.

Is chivalry dead in the South?

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@Snowpuppy wrote:
One thing.....where are the men in all this? If this is uncomfortable for you or you need guests to help, why isn't your DH taking the lead and speaking up on your behalf?

At my BIL's he greets guests, sits at the head of the table, says grace and asks the guys to clear the table after a holiday meal.

I have a friend who has a busy holiday season at work. Her DH has experience in the kitchen in the military. He shops and starts meal prep. He fields calls from family & guests. He is retired and has the time.

Is chivalry dead in the South?

@Snowpuppy Brilliant! Thinking back, my husband would set the table, take care of the drinks, help with the serving and clearning of the table and herd folks around and cleanup afterward.

He would meet, greet, entertain, help where needed, conduct home and garden tours and most of all keep people out of my hair! LOL!!! And he helped out making things ahead when needed.

Just keeping them out of the kitchen beforehand was a blessing many times.

ETA: That was dinners and parties at our house. Mother's house at the holidays was a whole different deal. LOL!!!!

hckynutjohn · ‎06-15-2015

@ECBG

I think you are aware that I do not eat dinner, or meals. Since my wife is gone over 50% of the time, there is no such thing as dinner.

To be blunt! Nobody that is "unwanted" will ever be inside our home, at any time of the year, for any reason.

hckynut 🇺🇸

hckynut(john)

ninjawife · ‎11-15-2011

@Nonametoday wrote:
I have a couple, my son's in-laws. His wife insists that her parents come for holiday dinners at my house because her mother doesn't cook. (Neither does she). My other children do not like it, we don't like it but my son says that is the only way his weird wife will come if her parents come. I would not marry anyone like that but he is stuck with her and so am I. The parents are just as nice as they can be. DIL is not nice at all. She is nasty and snarky. She never looks like she is coming to a dinner that took days to prepare, but maybe at a grazing buffet at the local greasy spoon. It's family. It's Christmas or Thanksgiving and I learned from the Golden Girls that it is not about the people, but the reason for the season. I try to be kind to her parents because they are some of the nicest people I ever met, but it is family time. I just wish they would talk to their immature daughter about this problem she has.

@Nonametoday I see nothing wrong with having your daughter in law's family at you holiday meals. They are family although you don't seem to think of them that way.

Nataliesgramma · ‎03-28-2015

Yep....My husbands Niece ,Nephew and his wife. Never can cme on time. I was even willing to adjust dinner time if that would help.

They all picked up and moved away so my problem was solved.

My daughter and her family are flying in from Florida the first week of Dec and we are going to celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas with just them. After all the years of cooking big meals every Holiday, I like it this way now in my old age.

San Antonio Gal · ‎05-18-2017

@spumoni99 wrote:
What do these people do the rest of the year? How can people survive with no cooking skills? That just boggles my mind.

@spumoni99 - I am one of those without cooking skills and I am surviving just fine. I'm still able to feed myself and prepare non-cooking meals. Hubby loves to cook and he usually prepares meals. However, without him, I'm still able to prepare something.

paixmcdao · ‎04-16-2022

@Nonametoday wrote:
@Kachina624 wrote:
@ECBG Why do you patiently and hopelessly wait for him to 'volunteer'? Put him to work. Tell him you need some help; announce that everyone needs to take his plate to the kitchen along with a serving dish. Ask him to carry desserts to the table, etc. Maybe next year he won't be so eager to eat at ECBG's house.
@Kachina624 @ECBG
I quite agree. I have a DIL I dearly love, but she likes to be attended. I tell her to get off her duff and let's get the dishes done. Dear son laughs about me doing it. He knows she does not want to help, that she is an indulged woman but I love her. She has a great personality and does not mind me telling her and then she helps a lot but I have to prod her.

Is she the same daughter-in-law that you are stuck with?

“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” -Mark Twain

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

For me, I used to love the holidays, husband and I would drive to my sisters with a trunk load of food for the Thanksgiving meal (we left on Wednesday). I always brought plenty as she had 2 small kids and was generally overwhelmed..she did the turkey and potatoes. That relationship fell away years ago...the last 15ish years I cooked, and invited my stepdaughter.

Two years ago at Thanksgiving stepdaughter was 1 hour late....needless to say I was furious, I will not invite her for dinner again., it is just me and my husband anyway.

If she wants to come for dessert she is more than welcome.

Some years we go on a short trip out of town. I am not sure what we will do this year for Thanksgiving. There is nothing close by where I would even consider eating out, which if there was - that is what we would do. Husband is OK with what ever we do - he is easy to please.

At Christmas I invite my single girl friend, and stepdaughter. I don't do a meal, it is more heavy finger food, that way if my step daughter wants to come over she can eat when she gets here, if she comes at all.

I would like to uninvite my friend (but would not do that) ...we are still friends but not as close as we once were and frankly her personality has become prickley...even my husband noticed it as well as her sisters.

It is somewhat forced conversation and just not fun. She has a sister that lives very close, so if we decide to make other plans for Christmas, she does have somewhere to go...I just don't want her to be alone.

I wish things were not so complicated.

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@San Antonio Gal wrote:
@spumoni99 wrote:
What do these people do the rest of the year? How can people survive with no cooking skills? That just boggles my mind.
@spumoni99 - I am one of those without cooking skills and I am surviving just fine. I'm still able to feed myself and prepare non-cooking meals. Hubby loves to cook and he usually prepares meals. However, without him, I'm still able to prepare something.

@San Antonio Gal Exactly! And I have had many a meal from people who think of themselves as gourmet cooks, where the food is practically inedible. Green bean casseroles with Campbell's soup and jello green salads.🥺😳