Among Friends

[Keeper of the koi]

I was thinking of this today. Many of us get into patterns  it is only human nature. I asked myself why can I do to make this a happier holiday for my loved ones?.... Often we go into situations  only tolerating those around us , looking for the bare minimum of interactions.What role do I play in the drama?  What if we walk in with no expectations and really listen to  people? What if I interact with everyone ? Not only those i feel comfortable with? What if I let go of anger , new , old , or imagined?In this busy season we rush to get to something. What is the something.? Is it the perfect gifts or the feelings you want to impart? What we do in this moment changes everything. Bad  prior  feelings ?create new ones....change what bothers you , you have no one to blame but you. This season can be the best one yet! Never give up! This is the biggest party of the year ,miracles await us all , even those  we won't see!  Happy Holidays ! Maryanne

[Vickiv]

Wonderful thoughts and so very true. Thank You and have Merry Christmas.

[chloe66]

Thank you for this beautiful post. I really needed to read this today!!

[Snowpuppy]

Please don't heap guilt "you only have yourself to blame" on those of us who have tried to make relationships work and failed.  It takes 2.

You invite people and they refuse to attend. Or worse yet, they attend and it's their time to air a lifetime of grievences at the holiday table. Or maybe you've asked for their forgivess over a slight and they refuse. You send a card or gift to someone you love with no response from them.

Then there are those who have dealt with alcoholism or violence and for their own safety keep a safe distance from harm.

Some just want the gift of  peace in their life.

[Keeper of the koi]

My post was not intended for guilt. The you have yourself to blame was for not trying. And for the record my father was an alcoholic who beat me until I moved away my mother  was mentally ill ,  I have tried that is all.  My post was for those struggling with  small differences not life altering ones of kindness.   If you reread my post i said change what bothers you you have no one to blame....Maryanne

[Keeper of the koi]

I must add , these thing make us or break us. I choose make us I created all new memories for the past 20 some odd years .remain in pain if you wish, waste life in  the past or move on , big world out there.....Maryanne

[Big Sister]

Good sentiment.  Let go of the negative people in your life; they will bring you down again and again if you let them.

I once heard this phrase and it makes sense:  Let go, let God.

[AngelPuppy1]

@Keeper of the koi

Thank you for the lovely post.  I think we can all take something different from it  and apply it in different ways.  I tend to be a very emotional person and am ruled so much by my feelings.  This can be good and it can be bad.  Reading a post like yours, gives me a moment to sit back and reflect.  It is true that we can't change a lot of situations but we can change how we react to them.  Many things are out of our control and nothing can be done about it.  But it helps to remember that if we do or have done all that we can, to remedy a situation, and it still hasn't helped or been rectified, then we need to remember that we've done all that we can, and the problem isn't with us, but with the other party.  Memories - both good and bad --- we hold on to them.  I am trying very had to rid myself of some of the bad ones -- or at least put them further to the back and not let them dictate my present and my future!!!!  

[Nataliesgramma]

This is such a timely post. Yesterday my brother had a small Christmas party for all the cousins. Our parents used to get together with their brothers and sisters every Christmas and bring all us kids. Then they started dying off and the only time we saw each other was a wedding or funeral.When one of us got cancer, it was a wake up call of what was important in life. My brother and I decided to start the Christmas Party thing again.....

Not everyone could make it, as one cousin lives in Texas, but we are going to have a picnic in the summer and Chistmas party every year, so they can travel for at least one.

2 of us are now in our 60's and it was wonderful to see each other and our kids and grandkids got to meet family some of them don't even know....