Among Friends

[TX-starlight]

I have a dear friend, probably my truest friend in the world, but.....she drives me crazy with her "safety warnings" to me. For instance-awhile back, my purse strap was hanging (no where near my feet), & she says, "you could step on that & trip", I mentioned I had been sleeping with a cough drop in my mouth (been doing this for yrs. when needed for moisture at night), She says "WE" don't need to do that, you could choke on it".  She is constantly telling me what I "need" to do. Many yrs ago, we were talking over the phone. I heard her husband saying something to her in the background, I asked what he was saying (he was talking loud, so I knew he meant for me to hear,lol), She said he told me to stop fussing at you. Over the yrs, I've tried to ignore her, but she is becoming very annoying always cautioning me about things. I'm 65! I am aware of things! I definitely don't want to hurt her feeling, but it's so irritating, I'm finding myself not wanting to spend time with her.  I blame it on her "sign" she is Scorpio, my mom was the same & she was like this in some ways. 

[NicksmomESQ]

  If you can no longer handle her constantly warning you,then you need to sit her down & gently tell her that it’s starting to bother you.If you’re that close I’m sure you can work it out.Just tell her that you made it this far & you’re sure you’ll be fine.

[x Hedge]

Instead of that 'sit down and look her in the eye' chat, I'm more likely to just say, "Ok mom" to old ladies who (s)mother other old ladies.

Try to sound like an exasperated 16 year old when you say it.

[kittyloo]

how about instead, thanking her.  Say, gee. i hadn't thought about that, or " i'll keep that in mind, next time" she just says it, because she cares about you.  Maybe her husband does that to her all the time. 

[fthunt]

My neighbor lady has a single lady 'friend' like that - she/husband went to Florida for a    week visit.  Visit lasted 2 nights - husband blew his stack after listening to this woman constantly 'correcting' his wife.  Repacked the bags and left.   I have an elderly lady friend 91 yrs old - if I make a dish - she'll immediately tell me how she does it - and I should too. At 91 - I just let her go on and on.  LOL

[Vivian]

You can thank her for her concern and tell her you’ll be more careful in the future. That’s easier than telling her to shut up. I’m familiar with people who are so scared that every time you leave your home, danger awaits. Actually, even in your own home, danger lurks according to these Nervous Nellies. Remember that your neurotic friend is issuing warnings out of love. 

[mistriTsquirrel]

Oh man.  My mom is like this at times.  Sometimes I wonder how she thinks I survive when we aren't together.

Have you talked to her about it?  Also, sometimes you have to remind someone more than once that their behavior is not okay with you before they will get the message.  If you've already gone down this road and she keeps doing it anyway, it's probably a compulsive behavior that isn't going to stop.

[KitTkat]

If she's really your truest friend, you should be able to discuss this with her openly and tell her how much it bothers you. I understand that you don't want to hurt her feelings, but keeping it held inside like you have is only building up resentment. Talk to her, be honest, and tell her how much you love her as a friend. Your true friendship can and will stand the test of honesty. 

[QVCkitty1]

I used to work with a woman who always knew best, even though trust me, she didn't. I used to call her the " grim reaper " because she always put the most depressing spin on anything. People would go out of their way to avoid her, as they were tired of being lectured.

[Imaoldhippie]

You know your friend and how she would react.  But she does not hesitate to offend you by constantly reminding you to becareful.  The next time she says the "caution" to you say ..............Gee thanks mom, would please stop with the caution stuff, its driving me crazy!  Im a big girl now.