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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,005
Registered: ‎06-19-2010

Brother-in-law wants something and it’s usually money. What would you do?

My husbands brother has been trying to contact him regarding his sister. My husband has had no contact with either his sister or brother in probably 25-30 years. He left us a message and sent us a letter but neither one gave us any indication as to what he might want. Just "call me it's about our sister" Considering his past record the only time this guy calls is to try to get money from us so we’re pretty sure he wants money for something. All we know it’s regarding his sister. She’s quite a bit older so it might be money for health care nurses, heck, he might even think she could move in here with us so we could take care of her. That is a H*** No.  What would you do? My husband is in no hurry to call him because we know he wants something and it’s never good. He is getting ready to retire next year or sooner if he gets irritated enough and we know if we give him money we’ll never see a dime of it again. My husband has really had nothing to do with his family for over 40 years other than a very occasional card at Christmas and even those stopped years ago.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,174
Registered: ‎09-01-2010

Re: Brother-in-law wants something and it’s usually money. What would you do?

I would call my brother, period.  Even if he does want money, I would listen to what he has to say regarding our sister.  

 

With no contact in 25-30 years, it should be easy for your husband to say no to whatever is asked of him, but he will at least close the door on his relationship with his brother and sister in a way everyone understands.   

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,243
Registered: ‎11-24-2013

Re: Brother-in-law wants something and it’s usually money. What would you do?

@Meowingkitty Oh my goodness what does your husband have to lose by calling? Maybe 5 minutes of his time? It may be about their sister, it may not. But he will never know if he doesn't call. And like them or not, he will wonder for years what happened.

 

If it's about money, he can just say no. And it just MAY be something your husband should know. It won't kill him to make a call. Right now it's all just speculation.

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,101
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Brother-in-law wants something and it’s usually money. What would you do?

[ Edited ]

Your BIL could have easily indicated the reason he is so anxious to talk with your husband.  I find it suspicious that he won't say what it is.  Your instincts are probably right - it's about money.

 

Personally, for me, I wouldn't contact him back.  There is no good reason your BIL is being so mysterious.  Why is he being so coy? Especially after so many years of no contact.  He could have easily explained it in his letter.

 

JMO.

 

 

 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,846
Registered: ‎09-15-2016

Re: Brother-in-law wants something and it’s usually money. What would you do?

I face things head on so I'd pick up the phone & call.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 44,347
Registered: ‎01-08-2011

Re: Brother-in-law wants something and it’s usually money. What would you do?

If you do call, I'd suggest an "adjustable mortgage" and tell him to "stand on his own feet".

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,078
Registered: ‎12-27-2010

Re: Brother-in-law wants something and it’s usually money. What would you do?

I'm in the same position. I'm never calling back. Whatever the news is or was has zero impact on me. If they are dead, th÷y were dead to me already. My life remains exactly the same. The day my beloved mother died the outsider called  after 20 years. To h*ll with that., someone handed the phone to me and I hung it up. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,078
Registered: ‎12-27-2010

Re: Brother-in-law wants something and it’s usually money. What would you do?


@RedTop wrote:

I would call my brother, period.  Even if he does want money, I would listen to what he has to say regarding our sister.  

 

With no contact in 25-30 years, it should be easy for your husband to say no to whatever is asked of him, but he will at least close the door on his relationship with his brother and sister in a way everyone understands.   


I think after 25-30 years of no contact, if someone doesnt understand the door is closed, they are idiots.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,705
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Brother-in-law wants something and it’s usually money. What would you do?

Funny as we heard from a long lost relative recently, too.

 

Late night hang up call with no vm and a follow up email with just "call me".  Didn't respond to either.

 

Dirt bags can figure out how to solve their own problems.

 

 

 

 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,381
Registered: ‎05-01-2020

Re: Brother-in-law wants something and it’s usually money. What would you do?

Some of these responses astound me. To all this applies to:

Be the bigger person.