Among Friends

[teganslaw]

I see nothing wrong with doantion to a "house fund.", but asking to donate for "honeymoon fund" is tacky IMO. 

The way I see it, buying  a house is an investment for the future.

Honeymoons are just for fun,, and if one can afford a large wedding, they can afford to pay for their own honeymoon. If they don't have  money for a honeymoon, don't take one.

I won't donate money for a trip, but will donate for down payment on housing. It probably sounds strange, though that's how I feel about it.

[RollTide2008]

I’m going to give cash for a wedding gift anyway. I don’t think it’s tacky, but whatever.

[ScrapHappy]

I always thought of a bridal registry for items you'll need in the future:  dishes, towels, etc.  And the wedding gift to be cash/check.  Putting a house fund or honeymoon fund on a bridal registery is not in good taste.  

[willomenia]

wasn't trying to be sweet, if you want sweet go to a bakery.

[busymom22]

I'm in my 50's so my natural internal etiquette radar also bristles at these new types of registries.  However, when it comes to a wedding shouldn't the goal be to get the couple a gift they really want, can use, and won't just be clutter?

When I got married a bunch of people went off registry and bought me "crystal bowls". Some of my cheap relatives would go to Ross and buy a $10 bowl and wrap it up in a more expensive store box (like Macy's). I had no need for any of those bowls and honestly would have preferred a $10 gift card to apply to something I really wanted.

You still have people who want to buy a gift of their choosing more to hide how much they are spending rather than just giving the couple something they actually want.

[haddon9]

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@SoCal Bred wrote:

@SoCal Bred wrote:

If you're spending so much on a wedding and then asking for cash gifts for your honeymoon, house fund, etc., that's pretty tacky and bold.  It's like asking guests for a reimbursement on the cost of the wedding!  JMO.

@haddon9  wrote:

@SoCal Bred I believe that a registry is not seen as "asking" for gifts.  It's a suggestion if people just have no clue as to what a couple may want or need.  I think most people see it as a helpful resource, guide and suggestion. Registries have been around for decades.

Of course one is free to give whatever they want or even nothing at all.

@haddon9 

I know what a registry is, I myself have given a cash gift to the newlyweds to help them purchase whatever they need outside of the registry, but downright asking for cash to help fund their honeymoon, etc., is tacky IMO. 

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@SoCal Bred I thought the same thing when my daughter added a "Honeymoon fund" to her registry and told her so.  However when she explained to me that many of her friends just don't have checkbooks it is a way for them to give a cash gift I changed my mind about it. 

 It never occurred to me that the younger generation just doesn't do checks.  When I thought about it, I myself rarely write out a check anymore.  I was just surprised but it makes sense since most people pay bills, etc. online.

As a matter of fact her Honeymoon was already paid for but it was just a term that she used if someone wanted to give a cash gift.

Of course there are plenty of people who think that every party one has is a "gift grab".  Everyone sees things differently.

[haddon9]

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@willomenia wrote:
wasn't trying to be sweet, if you want sweet go to a bakery.

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@willomenia I wasn't either....it's called sarcasm.

[Lakelife62]

Remind me not to send invitations to these posters. Lucky enough to be thought of and invited, only to pass judgement on the invitation, which was proffered in joy and friendship.

Please. Just stay home.

Let the happy people surround the newlyweds.

[Bri369]

I think it rubs people the wrong way when asked to donate to their honeymoon or their house fund or whatever else they're asking for.   

[on the bay]

The frst time I saw a request for donating to a house I was kind of surprised and though practical it does seem kind of impersonal. 

Even though we got 3 woks for our wedding lol! still we got so many gifts that were chosen with love and thought for us. Everyone at our wedding we knew and were close to so that makes a difference.

There was none of the invites for friends or relatives that we didn't even know well. I still think that is strange-to ask if inlaws can invite their friends.

Anyway yes things change a lot. WE didn't have registries back then. I always liked the idea of people chosing something especially from them.

I guess in a way, a registry is the same as asking for money for a house or even honeymoon, just for  a lot of different things they want or the very practical house.

I guess it is maybe more fun and meaningful to family and friends to give a special gift>

Though as some have said they don'y mind at all giving towatds a house or even honeymoon or trip.