Valued Contributor
Posts: 780
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

I would have made the phone call. He probably would have lied anyway.

The pilot moved away a year ago. Of course he found another woman.

She couldn't expect to continue the relationship long distance.

If she really wants closure,the best thing is to hire a private investigator.



Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,419
Registered: ‎04-23-2010

@Calcgirl wrote:

He is younger than her by  a few years.  He will be 61 this year. She is about 67 I believe, but she does not look her age. She is Asian and very pretty with a figure of a 20 year old.  I suspect it is the distance that became the issue, their relationship was definately based on a "physical nature"as she put it, lol. Since she was unwilling to move to the other state (although he had asked her to), he probably found someone else to be physical with.Smiley Happy.

If she did not want to move out of state, and they agreed to be free to date other people, it should not have been a surprise to her. If not, and he cheated on her, she is lucky to be rid of him. Either way, you were not obligated to find out the truth.

“The soul is healed by being with children.”
— Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,752
Registered: ‎10-03-2014

What difference would it make if it was another woman.  He doesn't want to be with her anymore.  End of story.


"their relationship was definately based on a "physical nature" as she put it."


Women who think a relationship based on that will be long lasting are naive and foolish.  


If your "friends" ditched you over this, then they weren't friends.  Be glad they showed their true colors.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,590
Registered: ‎03-09-2010



I learned the hard way many years ago to stay out of it!


I had a long time girlfriend, she was married, I was still single.


I was going to our favorite haunt one night and she couldn't go because her child was sick, although her husband was going to the same haunt with his 'guy friends'


She asked me to let her know if he was 'misbehaving' and sure enough he was packing on the PDA (kissing, etc.) with another woman.


As asked, I called her and she got her Mom to babysit and came there to see for herself.


Long story short, after the fireworks and a short separation, they got back together, but of course he demanded that she end our 10+ year friendship.


Lesson learned......









You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,544
Registered: ‎05-24-2010

You did the right thing. Never get involved in a relationship it never turns out well. Your friend is upset right now, so give her time. You did nothing wrong, so if she snubs you that is on her.


There is nothing school girl about matters of the heart. It hurts when someone dumps you.  No matter what age you are. How she ultimately handle's it will tell her character.


If the relationship was shallow and build on surface attraction then that is what she got. He found a new attraction and moved on.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,974
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

IMHO, she would have another relationship "breakup" coming her way as well. Don't need those kind of friends in my world.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,341
Registered: ‎04-19-2010

Did you say late 60s or early teens? Seriously, are there grown women who still act like this, other than the real housewives?

-- pro-aging --

Rochester, New York
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,275
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

She's 67.  He probably traded her in for two 30 yr olds.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,609
Registered: ‎11-24-2013

@kaydee50 I disagree. That kind of behavior is strictly junior high nonsense.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,102
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

I think you did the right thing. If for some reason they would go back together and you had told her something he said then not only would she be upset with you but so would he. It would be that you told tales and you shouldn't have. I am sorry your friends are treating you that way but I don't think they are really good friends if they are trying to put you in the middle of someone else and their problem.

Years ago when I I was young several women and myself were good friends. We had one friend and her live in boyfriend was cheating on her. Everyone decided to tell her and drive her to where she could catch him. I said I am not telling her anything and I am not going with all of you. She is not going to appreciate any of this. Well they all did it and then in the end she was no longer friends with any of them because he blamed them and so did she for causing problems.