Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,020
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

A friend of mime who is in her late 60's came over hysterical because her boyfriend just broke up with her. They had been dating for a few years, but the problem is he is a pilot and was transferred to another state, so the last year their relationship has been long distamce.  She suspects he met someone else and wanted me to call him to see if he would tell me. Her boyfriend happens to be a very good friend as well.  I said absolutely no, I was not getting in the middle  of this. Well, she started screaming at me and told me if I was a a good friend I would do it. I tried to calm her down, but she stormed out and said she never wanted to talk to me again.  A couple of our mutual friends called me and told me I was wrong not to help her get closure buy finding out the real reason for the break up and if there was another woman involved.  Again, I said absolutely not.  Well, today at a luncheon the three of them snubbed me.  I am hurt and angry.  I guess my frienship isn't a value to them.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,684
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Airline pilot mandatory retirement age is 65,     Maybe he wasn't "transferred"...........

♥Surface of the Sun♥
Valued Contributor
Posts: 833
Registered: ‎11-08-2020

@Calcgirl , for what it's worth, I think you made the right decision.  She will find out in time what the real story is.  I had a friend who was left high and dry.  She wrote a long letter trying to keep the relationship going.  I told her not to send it.  Sure enough, he was seeing another.  She really wishes she could have that letter back...  Emotions are high now.  In time they will calm down and hopefully the friendship will recover.  S

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,020
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

He is younger than her by  a few years.  He will be 61 this year. She is about 67 I believe, but she does not look her age. She is Asian and very pretty with a figure of a 20 year old.  I suspect it is the distance that became the issue, their relationship was definately based on a "physical nature"as she put it, lol. Since she was unwilling to move to the other state (although he had asked her to), he probably found someone else to be physical with.Smiley Happy.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,865
Registered: ‎03-28-2015

You did the right thing...


What difference would it make if it is another woman?


She would probably want you to spy on him and find out who it is...


He isn't in to her anymore....Time for her to find someone else...


Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,730
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

That is hurtful and wrong that she lashed out at you and that the others joined her and snubbed you.  I feel you were right for not sticking your nose in .  The man told her what he wanted her to know and if something comes out to the contrary later on, then so be it.  I would let things be as they are and hopefully she will come to her senses and apologize to you.  I get that she is upset but no need to treat you the way she did.  

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin
Super Contributor
Posts: 471
Registered: ‎01-07-2018

From Mya Angelou:  When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.



I would consider these friendship (and the other women as well) as dissolved.  Don't let them keep showing you over and over who they really are.



These are individuals who lack strength of character.  It may not seem like, but you actually are better off without them.




Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,260
Registered: ‎02-07-2011

If the boyfriend is a "very good friend" of the OP, I don't see a problem with the OP telling him that her friend is very upset and see what his response is.  Then she can report back to her friend.  

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,429
Registered: ‎06-24-2019

I think you made the right decision.  Stay out of it.  This is or was between those 2 and that is all.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,594
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@Calcgirl you did the right thing, stand your ground and don't give in.