Among Friends

[just bee]

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@I am still oxox wrote:

I have been over weight most of my adult life. At one point I was over 200 lbs and at 5 feet tall that is a lot.

This morning I weighed 127.4 which at 5 feet tall is great for a 71 year old woman. I have a very healthy diet and watch what I eat so the thing is why do I feel so fat.

I know its a mental thing I look in the mirror and see a thin woman but mentally I am still that 2x girl.

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@I am still oxox 

Old habits die hard.  But let's get the terminology straight.

Do you actually feel fat?  Your mind may be telling you this, but do you physically feel like you're over 200 pounds?

Take a moment to remember how that extra weight really felt.  Do you feel that way now, at 127 pounds?

Think about how you feel today.  How you move.  How it feels when you're going about your daily activities.

Does it really feel the same?

Can you honestly say that there is no difference?  Of course not.

Take a moment.  Acknowledge that you feel different.  That you feel better.

You've worked too long and too hard to be tricked into thinking something that isn't true. 

[qualitygal]

This reminds me of what I've heard about the gals like Karen Carpenter, who see themselves as fat, and practically starve themselves to death.  Some do like Karen.  I don't think it's easily erased from memory after we constantly diet.  I bet you look great though!!!  Keep up the good work.

[Shanus]

@I am still oxox   That's so great and healthy for you. I'm sure it was hard work and you should be quite proud of yourself. Oh, and thanks for sharing your success.

[RaisedOnQVC]

You inspire me to do better! My husband keeps giving me a pass by telling me my age (61) is the reason I have trouble loosing weight. I told him I’m pretty sure it’s Jimmy The Baker cinnamon rolls😂 thank you for sharing your story and letting me know I can make a change!!

[CalmHeart]

I lost 80 pounds and still see the heavy woman when I look in the mirror. I doubt I'll ever see me any other way.

The comments, looks, abuse, and body shaming that overweight people take every day affects our brains and how we see ourselves.

Heavens, look at social media, tv, music, news... and read posts on these forums. Body shaming is all around us. We heard it when we were heavy and we hear it after we lose weight.

Why wouldn't people struggle with body image?

[skatting44]

   There are professionals  that assist people who feel the way you do after making big accomplishments as you in loosing the weight .

[wagirl]

@I am still oxox --first of all--way to go!!! And I am sure you are not unusal to feel the way you do about your body. 200 pounds is alot ! And you know its a mental thing. And you know nothing anyone can say to you is going to make you feel any different. Soo--if this is a huge issue for you---how about trying therapy?? You can do it online these days and it couldn't hurt---Medicare will cover it --I did that for my insomnia issues---it didn't really help with that, but it sure was a good way to relieve me of a bunch of stuff I have been going thru. 

[conlt]

I lost 97 pounds and still look at myself as fat. I am not skinny, but average, I would say. I have always been tall, a bigger woman. I remember in grade school, in school pictures, I was always put standing in the back with the boys. I always wanted to be the petite girl sitting in the front row. 

I am 5' 9" with size 11 feet. I have a 32 " inseam. Growing up, slacks, jeans basically came in a 28" or 29" inseam. My Grandmother, who was born in 1885 was also around 5'9" which was extremely rare during those times. Height is in our genes. Things were difficult for me for me growing up. At least now, I can often get a 31 or 32" inseam.  I actually like being tall now, but it was not easy growing up. Anyway, I still feel bigger than others. 

[Growing]

Good for you! To love our bodies and soul is a gift. So many of us women were body shamed as children and food is often used to comfort.

I have had to learn to value myself in my 60's. I use mantras. If you are willing, put a positive mantra on your mirror. Something like "I look wonderful" or "I am worthy and valuable human being." What fits.

I had the opposite as a child, verbally tortured at the dinner table and ate very little so was always way too skinny. Had three babies starting at my weight of 105, now I know this is terribly skinny, and I could not gain weight. I now think my poor mother had a body dismorphia issue herself. My mom died weighing about 85 pounds at 5'4" and was so happy to be so skinny.

I weigh 137 at 5'4" and weekly find myself telling myself I should lose 10-20 pounds. I am happy at this weight and I don't yo-yo with weight so I think this is where my body wants to be. I eat pretty healthy and was a health food nut from college age. I see one of my daughters teaching her kids to be afraid and not like certain foods. 

I did not teach my daughter negative about foods because of how my parents were. The last time I saw my daughter, she was probably 100 pounds overweight and refused to feed her kids healthy normal foods. They would cry at the dinner table afraid of chicken or steak we were eating or the vegetables.

I am telling you my story so you know you are not alone. And I think some of this is DNA related because of watching my daughter and my mother with their food and weight issues. 

We can have these negative thoughts and counteract them. I think our brains go into the old patterns sort of automatically and we have to learn to change the thinking pattern which does take some work. Be proud of yourself. 

[jubilant]

Good for you  and thanks for sharing!  Your post reminded me of something my dad told me once.  I had gained weight in the 5th and 6th grade and one day a boy in my class called me fat.  I told my Dad what he said and Dad said to me..."Next time anyone says that to you  just say

"I'm not fat, I'm gorgeous"!  While I never said anything, what Dad told me made me feel better.