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Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,930
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

@house_cat wrote:

@Nightowlz 

Unfortunately, some of us are parents to "children" with special needs or special circumstances and we have to think of what happens to them when we're gone.  I'm not sure if I agree with the author of this list when it comes to that.


@house_cat 

 

I don't have a problem with parents helping out children with special needs. I get really ticked off at everyone asking my dad or DH's mom for money when they are dead beats sitting on their rears. No way would I pay their way.

My dad's step children plus their children used my dad like he was a Bank. My MIL cannot afford it but does without so she can give her kids money? They also show up at her house every night wanting to know what's for dinner. She will be 90 next month. They should be making her dinner.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,706
Registered: ‎01-02-2015

I plan on copying this .. keep the ones I like and agree with ...

and not the ones I don't .. like with most things ...

 

But it was an intertesting post ....a lot to think about ....

 

thank you ....

Honored Contributor
Posts: 30,916
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

I thought I'd never stop reading.  LOL  I'm sure that by the time I finished, I'd already forgot some of them.  However,  there are some things on this list that I have read elsewhere or that older friends who retired and are healthy and happy and well of financially have share.  There are also a few that just a matter of common sense.

 

To combine a few; we have nice incomes but we are not wealthy.  We paid for daughters to go to college,  we paid for their weddings.  We sent them to private schools and paid for dancing schools, ice skating lessons, art lessons.  We did well by them.  We have no intentions whatsoever of leaving them a single cent when we pass along.  We have insurance policies and they are the beneficiaries but our money is our money.  We save and invest and will continue working so that we can live the good life when we retire.  Not leave an inheritance for them.  Yes, indeed.  In our retirement will spend our money on ourselves.

 

We both work in healthcare.  Hubby has always been in excellent health, I've had my challenges.  But, thank heavens, nothing serious.  I could do better but I eat well, exersize, deal positively with stress.  Aging healthy and strong is important to me.

 

I am fortunate in that I married the love of my life and while have had our challenges back in the early days; we never grew apart from each other.  We have taken the same path together and our love and our marriage has grown stronger over the years.  We are close to our girls who are happy, lovely women.  We have two wonderful grandchildren.  I have friends and coworkers who have unhappy or troubled relationships with the children and I feel fortunate and blessed that we avoided that.  

 

Yes, I do think it's important for a person's self esteem to dress well and to take care of our skin, hair and teeth as we age.  Hubby and I both feel this way.  I think if you don't feel good about your outward appearance, you can't feel good about life.  I like that as we both age, we care less about being "in style".  We have our own individual sense of style.  

 

I admit, I'm not quite 60 but I find myself saying "in my time" and "back in the day" too much.  It was my 74 year old friend who told me that.

 

I do not believe that pain is necessarily a natural part of aging.  I do think the "machine" does break down with time and it's important to take advantage of medical practices and surgical procedures to address pain and other conditions that limit our mobility.  

 

It's a great list!  I agree with almost everything on it.  You can think of it as a blue print to aging happily. Although, no one can or would want to follow everything on the list.    

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,019
Registered: ‎08-08-2010

I personally think there is some very sound advice here and some things that many people need to hear, but build a wall and call such things names or belittle it. 

 

Especially the financial advice here is spot on. It is time to let your kids take the reign of their financial lives, if you haven't done it already. This thing of parents being the checkbook from cradle to grave of their kids and grandkids, often leaving them less than stable in old age is just something I never understood. We were expected to stand on our own two feet the minute we left the education process, whether we went from high school to work or after college if we went. 

 

And I know so many older people who have been retired for 30 years, and done NOTHING.  They earned a good living, have money, and don't go or do anything. They have no one dependent on them when they are gone (like a child with a disability or something similar), but sit on that money, sit at home, have no hobbies, no interests, go nowhere and do nothing. They are lucky enough to have each other, and have the health and means to do, and do nothing. I have no opinion of what they should do (travel, volunteer, have a hobby, socialize, etc.) but am perplexed  that they sit and do nothing, and it isn't because of lack of ability or funds. I don't get that, and have to wonder if they will regret it in the end.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,837
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@house_cat wrote:

Okay, don't shoot me for this thread title. A friend sent me this list on aging and although I think the title is dreadful, it's a good list and I thought it was worth posting. I don't know enough about the original website to post its link, but the author is listed as Steven Korker 2017.

 

Between 65 and Death

 

01 – It’s time to use the money you saved up . Use it and enjoy it . Don’t just keep it for those who may have no notion of the sacrifices you made to get it . Remember there is nothing more dangerous than a son or daughter-in-law with big ideas for your hard-earned capital . Warning : This is also a bad time for investments , even if it seems wonderful or fool-proof . They only bring problems and worries . This is a time for you to enjoy some peace and quiet .

 

 

This probably isn't meant to be taken literally, but I don't believe that you shoiuld use the money you've saved up.  Do things you want to do, of course, but don't use all your savings.  My father is 91.  He lived in an Independent Living Facility for 4 1/2 years (1 year too long), and this summer moved to a Memory Care facility, which is obviously quite expensive.  In addition to that expense, he broke his shoulder and has had to have a sitter come and stay with him for eight hours during the day.  That is over $1,200 a week just for the sitter/caregiver.  We aren't sure how long he'll need this, but probably for at least a couple of months.  All of this is tremendously expensive.  Thank goodness he didn't spend his savings.  You never know what could happen.


The Bluebird Carries The Sky On His Back"
-Henry David Thoreau





Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,519
Registered: ‎09-01-2010
I love it!
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,168
Registered: ‎10-23-2011

@J Town Girl 
I feel exactly the same way you do about medical "over testing".   I take very good care of my health and, of course, go for my annual labs and visits to my PCP whenever something clinical arises (like having him see the results of my total knee replacement).
However, I note with some irritation the numerous "promotions" my insurance company "markets" to try and lure me into completely unnecessary testing "loops" that, to me, merely indicate a "money maker" for whomever is doing the testing.  Nothing more, nothing less.
I have the utmost confidence in my medical doctors and feel comfortable and secure in the knowledge that any medical troubleshooting should remain between us without prompts from the insurance company.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,453
Registered: ‎02-02-2015

I like the list, some helpful reminders.  I think after age 60, life can take some very unexpected turns.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,702
Registered: ‎08-22-2013

I agree with most of those suggestions on aging gracefully.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,889
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Between 65 and Death

[ Edited ]

For the most part, I agree. Unfortunately, despite adhering to all this advice, you-know-what happens. Whether it happens to you or to your partner, all those other rules remain difficult to follow. All Ii can say is do your best, reach out to health care professionals, and know you do not have to be alone.