Among Friends

[Havarti]

I always appreciate someone sharing something they enjoy or think will be beneficial to others. Thank you for sharing something you enjoyed.

I also often wonder about the people who have the time and inclination to write these long lists telling others how to live.  By the time people have lived to 65 they likely already have a handle on what works for them.  I'm gonna just keep on being me...it got me this far, I think it will take to the finish line.

[J Town Girl]

That's an interesting list.   I agree with some of them but the one that I have a problem with is #3.   In particular, "do tests even when you're feeling well".   I feel there is too much doctoring in this country.    Certainly many tests are a very good thing.  I believe in doing an annual blood test and physical.   However, I think unless you are experiencing a particular issue it isn't necessary to run a battery of tests.  

As most of us know, once you hit 60 your yearly physical will consist of your doctor wanting to do more and more tests.  I realize medicine is big business and the doctors are being pressured into convincing you that these tests are necessary.  This is only my opinion but I feel that many of these tests just cause unnecessary stress and anxiety.  

Just turning the TV on for a short time will overwhelm you with all of the commercials pushing a multitude of drug ads.   I won't even get into the costs of many of these wonder drugs.   It's all too much.

I apologise because I can't remember who posted this but I agree with them saying," I just get up and enjoy my day and then go to bed.".  

Spending your day worrying about every little thing that could go wrong with you isn't making the most out of your life. 

[BlueFinch]

@Havarti Oh, I wish it was so, that by 65 we should know what's good for ourselves. I don't think that most mentally prepare for all the changes that occur with aging. 

For example, most long for retirement, to begin working on their bucket list. Then life throws curve balls and you can become emotionally lost. You start taking plans out of the bucket, instead of adding them.  

For me, I emptied the bucket, when my husband died unexpectedly, one year before our planned retirement.  He left for early RN shift in good spirits. Returned at 4pm saying he felt like he could die.  A virulent bacteria had attacked his left lung, likely from in hospital. It was necrotizing. Docs didn't believe he had worked all day, until coworkers came in to say he had been laughing and joking all day, until end of shift. We were together 35 years He was my heart, my everything.

I was an RN, too. I hung in at work for awhile, but I wasn't 100% for my patients and that was not acceptable for me.  Meantime, my mom was ill and I became her nurse, losing her and a SIL (to pancreatic ca) near the same time.  

I don't think I'm unique in having so many unfortunate experiences. I think many older folks begin focusing on all the things they no longer are, instead of what they have left.  I'm no longer a MIL, daughter/caregiver, wife, or working a profession I loved and excelled in.

I'm only sharing all this because Dec.,1st is an anniversary date for my husband's death. Holidays are always sad, but also because time does some healing and I don't want to run out the rest of my life clock without putting a couple of things back in the bucket. It's the least, and the best I can do for myself and the memory of others.

[house_cat]

@J Town Girl 

I had to look twice to see who had written your post - for a moment I thought it was me! I so agree with you.  Keeping up with doctor visits and staying healthy is vitally important, but I do think there's an over-emphasis on testing.  I'm not sure if that's because I've reached "a certain age" or if doctors are getting kickbacks from pushing these tests.

[house_cat]

@sweetee2 

I'm glad you found it helpful.  My DH retired at 56 due to health issues, so it seems like we went from 0-60 on the aging scale in record time.

[Nightowlz]

ITA with #2. Wish I could have got this through my dad's head. Now we wish we could get if through DH's mom.

My dad had to spend his golden years worrying about 3 of his kids plus paying bills for 2 of them. Ridiculous he had to deal with that. One will be homeless soon if she does not pull her head out of her rear. Now my MIL is dealing with the same thing.

Children should not expect their parents to pay any or all their bills. Nor should they expect them to raise "YOUR" children or move back home. Grown up be an adult.

[kaydee50]

@J Town Girl  Agree with you 100%.  Doctors can always find something wrong.  IMO, if I feel well, I am well.  Will be 70 in a couple of months and feel very fortunate to have made it this far without any major problems or taking any drugs.

[house_cat]

@BlueFinch 

Please accept my condolences on the loss of your husband.  It sounds like you were hit with a barrage of challenges all at the same time. It's a testament to your strength that you made it through. I hope the next chapter of your life brings you all kinds of unexpected joy.

[house_cat]

@Nightowlz 

Unfortunately, some of us are parents to "children" with special needs or special circumstances and we have to think of what happens to them when we're gone.  I'm not sure if I agree with the author of this list when it comes to that.

[Mary Bailey]

#3 do tests even when you're feeling well

Not for me. I do only mammogram and Pap.  No labs.

Last year while we were waiting to hear if DH had prostate cancer, I said I was not going to do any labs.  I didn't want to be fretting on me, while worrying about DH.   I won't take any lifelong Rx anyway. Those Rx commercials only re-enforce my conviction.   

BTW - my "theme" songs are by Toby Keith .... "Don't Let The Old Man In" and "The List"