Among Friends

[chickenbutt]

Ah, I see.  Initially I wondered if there was not any coordination of this but since you said that he had discussed it with them previously and then she changed the plan, at the last minute, I can see what you're upset.  I would be, too!

I don't have any answers but I, once again, am just really glad I don't have any inlaws.  This time around I married somebody whose family is largely dead.   I don't mean that to sound mean or unfeeling, but it is what it is and I have never failed to appreciate that.  I've BTDT with inlaws from h-e-double-L and can feel your pain.

[goldensrbest]

Are the noodles homemade?  MY mil fixed great chicken and dumplings, i liked them with mash potatoes ,and fresh vegetables.

[Scooby Doo]

Can I go to Florida with you, I'm freezing cold.  And I'll eat anything except sushi and liver/onions.

[chrystaltree]

Sounds like you just want to ruin your husband's Christmas.  I don't even see a problem here.  It's not like these are strangers.  You mother in law is making chicken.  So, leave your turkey at home.  I, personally, would make a turkey dinner to enjoy the next day.  Cook the whole ham dinner; ham. Veggies, rolls and take that with you to your mother in laws.  Lots of people serve two dinners on Christmas.  It's the holidays, why make a big deal out of nothing?  Unless...of course....you want a reason to back out of dinner with your husbands family.

[colliegirls]

I know I would want my son to stay for a few hours on Christmas.  Parents love their sons just as much as parents love their daughters. I would be really ticked off if my daughter-in-law sat there and played games on her phone or computer!  That is beyond rude!

[Zita]

@Bird mama: "You could be more immaculate with the name of God."  -Carl Sandburg, "Little White Bird"

[violann]

Roast pork, applesauce, potato casserole, Brussels sprouts with real baked bacon and whatever sides anyone wants to bring.

I can get away with it because everybody LOVES roast pork.

Nightowlz I feel terrible your efforts weren't appreciated.

They would have been if you were cooking in MY neighborhood. 

Hope your holiday turns out much better than you're expecting.

[Q4u]

Bless everyone's heart!  It can be hard.....

As a matter of fact, there would be NO Christmas if it weren't for women and it wears us out!  And some of it can be a power-play between the women.....  

I read the noodle part and thought... well, that would leave me out, I can't eat noodles, they shoot my sugars through the roof...  chicken yes, noodles no.... I'd have to bring something I could eat even if I had to tuck it in my purse.....  

You have every reason to be frustrated because it sounds to me like it's been a power-play between the two of you for too many years .... hang in there and I hope things work out for you so you can enjoy your holiday with your husband's family....   

[Big Sister]

@Nightowlz  put a smile on your face and kindness in your heart and go to your MIL's  and  be grateful that she is willing to be hostess.  You never know, this could be her last Christmas.  Be gracious.

[KentuckyWoman]

---

@Nightowlz wrote:

---

@Another new name Sue wrote:

Wow.  There is a lot more going on here than noodles as you seem to be harboring a lot of anger.  How sad that you would miss a family dinner because don't like the food. 

Think about it--Christmas is a holiday when we get together with family.  What is eaten is relatively unimportant.  You can eat the food you like ANY time, so do a little attitude adjustment and go along with the plans.  If you stay home, it will just create more hard feelings, more negative family history.  Everyone will remember the year when Nightowiz didn't come to Christmas dinner and went to FL!!!  Seriously, rise above this, smile and go.  Or start thinking about what is really bothering you and why you anger so easily over food.

My 2 cents.

---

It's not about the food. I'm happy with a turkey sandwich & a piece of pecan pie. I'm not eating a bowl of noodles. The anger is with the MIL that decides to do these things without including me. It's happened over & over again. After 39 yrs. I have had enough. I hate buying all this stuff to find what we normally used to do has been changed again without any kind of notice. If DH had not called his mom to tell her we would make the ham & turkey we would not have heard from her until 1-2 days before Christmas. It's ok for her to make changes but not me. One year I took a red velvet cake instead of pecan pies & everyone got ticked off. They did not like the change & I don't like the change.

Oh yes, I can relate to that.  My dear mother was snubbed all the time by my father's mother and sisters.  They would plan a family meal for Sunday and call my mother on Saturday night and tell her about it and ask her to bring cakes or pies. She called one Sunday mornng to tell us they were having lunch at her house after church.  My father answered the phone and told her that we would not be there

and why.  That put an end to it.  Good luck whatever you decide to do.

---