Among Friends

[RedTop]

I would consider my friendship with this person over.   I would not answer her calls or texts, and definitely would not send her the money.   This is beyond tacky in my book.   

[Krimpette]

No way would I send her the money.  And no way would I consider her a friend any longer.  If she continues to call, I'd probably answer and tell her you had no idea you would be required to help pay for the shower, since she did not tell you in advance.  Sorry, I can't afford that after the generous gift I gave.....that she doesn't need!

[MarkeieMark]

How long have you known this 'friend'?  For someone to come out of the blue like that doesn't make any sense.

Her husband must have put her up to it. lol

[hennypenny]

First of all what the heck is a sprinkle??????

There are so many functions now that are gimmies that I am gun shy in the first place.

The whole idea of a reveal party and twenty showers etc are totally offensive to me.

You are in a very sticky situation. I'm not sure what I would do. I guess that I would write a check, but I might say to your friend, that this situation has come as a shock, and that it was not in your budget to spend so much money.

Good luck! this is a tough one!

[chessylady]

I think the whole idea of a sprinkle is silly. If you have to bill guests for their meal then maybe you don't have enough money to have a second child. This whole party appears to be an exercise in attention getting and money grabbing. I guess you know this"friend" better now.

[queendiva]

Love and agree with @q-girl response.

The hostess is a tacky, self-centered nut case. She clearly values money much more than your friendships.

DO NOT send her any amount of $. Actions have consequences. She needs to learn that. A heavy price for her to pay: losing money and "friendships" to please her daughter.

You may have thought she was a friend previously; now you know better. Be the woman and answer her call using q-girl's script. Repeat it if necessary, word for word. That will be the end of it.

[queendiva]

@MarkeieMark: or more likely her daughter!

[threecees]

This is off topic but I have a relative who after another family member recently passed away decided that she is going to get a lawyer to fight for the deceased's assets after no one else was stepping up. He did not leave a will.

I spoke to her many times about how she is going to fight for what she can get of the deceased's belongings and even attended an appointment with the lawyer with her.

After the lawyer's bill came in the mail, I got another phone call saying what my half of the lawyer's bill came to and when could I pay it? I explained several times that I don't want to be involved in this headache of a case. I only wanted to help her along the way.

After several more calls, I had to end it and completely ignore her calls. I leave the machine pick up and screen almost all the time now. I don't want to be bothered.

It is just not worth the headaches and stress on me anymore! 

[Eileen in Virginia]

At first, I was just curious because I’d never heard of a Sprinkle. Okay, curiosity satisfied. I can’t imagine billing a guest for the party they attended at your invitation - that’s beyond rude! First of all, if you can’t afford to host a party, don’t do it. Secondly, if the parents-to-be already have everything, why bother them with a party when they probably just want to relax before the new baby’s born? If you felt you absolutely had to have some sort of party, host a brunch or pot luck at home. Now your friend has dug herself into a hole that will be hard to get out of - paying for a party she can’t afford and alienating her friends (who feel used and abused). I’m glad I’m not in her shoes right now. 

Oh yeah, I forgot to say, I wouldn’t give her another dime. Tell her to take it up with her daughter, who’s got a lot of gift cards for merchandise she doesn’t need.

[geezerette]

I’d tell her to get the money from her daughter.  After all those generous gift cards you and your friends gave her, she can afford to pay for her own “sprinkle”.  (Which apparently she didn’t “need” in the first place since she “has everything”.)