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Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,699
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving?

@house_cat 


@house_cat wrote:

@Stormygirl 

 

I'm glad to hear you are recovering nicely and hopefully taking good care of yourself.  I wish you well.

 

@qvcaddition 

 

Are you saying you have children, grandchildren and great grandchildren and no one thought to include you?  What's wrong with people?

 

Some are not vaccinated, and the children are thoughtless.  I would not have gone because I usually go home crying. I feel more alone around them.

Not in all families, but in mine, they ignore you and walk away when you are still talking to them. I'm 85 and not stupid.  I use the computer, the iphone, text and pretty progressive for my age. I even went to college in my 70's and gave the graduation speech and received a scholarship. Yet, they don't see it. 

I cannot explain it to you or to me for that matter.  I blame the parents for giving them too much and not teaching them to respect your elders and not think you are the center of attention.  They are not children, but in their late 30's.  I feel they think they are better than an old  person. 

I think enough of myself to not put myself in an disrespectful  situation. 

My half sister came all the way from Washington to CA for my 85th BD.  She invited my family and only one son showed up.  She was outraged.  She has been zooming me and calling me once a week.  She cannot stand my family.  She is only 53, but remembers all I did with the grandkids, because she was included.  She zoomed me yesterday for Thanksgiving and  it was a good break in the day.  We had a cocktail together over zoom.  If I didn't have my little dog who is old, I would have flown to her a

I don't want to leave the dog in the kennel and have no one to watch her and being old, I don't want to leave her.

I wish I could explain the family, but I can't understand it myself.  I have never been mean to the grandkids and only showered them with love and money, but they have no respect to even pick up a phone and say hi.  Not even a text. I would prefer a phone call, but anything would be nice. 

Anyway, it is what it is and I can't change it.  So I enjoy each day no matter how small the blessing might be. It just gets sad at holiday time.  But tomorrow I decorate for Christmas, and I was OK today.  


 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,783
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving?

@qvcaddition 

 

Wow! You sound like a dynamo!  If they only knew how much they are missing by not having you in their lives.  It's nice that your one sister returns your love 💕.  In general, older people are treated poorly in our culture and that's such a terrible shame, since we have so much to offer.

~ house cat ~
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,699
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving?

@house_cat 


@house_cat wrote:

@qvcaddition 

 

Wow! You sound like a dynamo!  If they only knew how much they are missing by not having you in their lives.  It's nice that your one sister returns your love 💕.  In general, older people are treated poorly in our culture and that's such a terrible shame, since we have so much to offer.


My sister and her partner are caregivers in a nursing home and said I am not the typical 85 yr old.  She said they see so many in the home that are ignored by family. It is terrible because these elderly people only want to be seen as a person who had active lives at one time. Not all treat their elderly like this, and not all countries.

When I was employed in the ER at a hospital and an Hispanic grandfather or mother came in, the whole family came to support them.  Not so much an American family. Usually one person came if that.  Sad.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,415
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving?


@lovesallanimals wrote:

This is a very interesting post.  I only have my DH, no children or relatives.  I am also quite a loner and do not like joining groups, etc.  As I am getting older I live in fear that I will lose my DH and then I will be totally alone.  I often think of the program The Golden Girls.  Wouldn't it be a wonderful thing if we could find "room mates" and friends like on that show?  I know it is not a realty, too many dishonest people out there and I would not trust anyone in my home, but it is a nice thought.


I like the concept, but living next door, not in the same house. I wouldn't want anyone in my home either, @lovesallanimals 

[was Homegirl] Love to be home . . . thus the screen name. Joined 2003.
Valued Contributor
Posts: 616
Registered: ‎06-08-2021

Re: Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving?

@qvcadditionYou sound like a bright, interesting person and I'm glad you have enough sense to take care of yourself and not expose yourself to such stupidity & rudeness. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's rudeness.

 You don't have to put up with that and I'm glad you didn't.

 My Thanksgiving was my husband, myself, and our 2 dogs, but I enjoyed the day as our dogs love us and we don't have to worry about them being RUDE.

 My Frenchie got the first bite of our Thanksgiving meal if that tells you anything!

 

happy0005.gif

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,186
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving?


@Catsrule wrote:

Blessings to you! I too am alone, and enjoying the nice day.

 

 I'm in Phoenix also so I relate to enough heat already. 

 

Had several invites from friends, but I always feel intrusive on a family holiday, so graciously declined. Salmon and sweet potato on my menu, listening to music and enjoying life. Last year I was diagnosed with breast cancer the day before Thanksgiving, so this year is much better with all the treatments in my rear view mirror.

 

Hugs!


So glad those cancer treatments are over. This is going to be a much happier time for u.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,186
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving?


@TennisBuf wrote:

@kivah wrote:

@TennisBuf wrote:

I don't have any family any more and no one ever invites me to join them. It's a shame because I grew up in a house where my parents invited anyone they knew who was alone.  My Mom couldn't stand it when she knew someone was all alone on Thanksgiving.

 

People nowadays aren't as eager to open up their home or invite that person who is alone without a spouse.  I'm use to the "third wheel," syndrome.

 

However, for years after my family was gone, I'd serve at the Salvation Army dinners, but with Covid, that has changed where I live. 

 

I will get along, but I don't do anything reminicent of the holiday.  I plan to make my homemade pizza with a salad and watch football or some movies I checked out at the library.   I get emotional through the day watching neighbors with friends and family visiting them, but I will take a walk and just know the day will be over soon.

 

If anyone else is alone, I know how you feel.   But just know, you aren't alone.   Others understand.  I'll check in on this thread tomorrow, just to say hi and be there if someone needs company.

 

Blessings to all.   If you are blessed to have family and caring friends you can count on, truly be thankful, for they are a gift.


I'm in the same situation as you!!!!! I'm older - never married - no family. My mother used to make the best Thanksgiving meals --- after she passed - I went to a friend's home for Thanksgiving. Then - I went to another friend's Thanksgiving Meals for many years - and she passed. Most people have families and many friends - and, I'm sure, there are also many single people (or people without families) who also feel left out. Enjoy your home-made pizza, salad and whatever movies u choose to watch.


@kivah 

 

Hi Kivah.... I feel like I'm in good company.   We feel the same for sure. I have a co-worker who texted me and said she and her mom were baking all morning and cooking and she's tired.   Then knowing I'm all alone she asks, "What are you making for your single person Thanksgiving dinner?"   Wow... a bit insensitive, but I refrained from saying something sassy like "A can of Campbells soup."  Instead I just didn't answer the question and wished her and her parents a happy day and meal.  Some folks just don't think.  I could never ask someone I know is alone that question.  Single person Thanksgiving dinner.   Ouch.  LOL!


I learned to not care about what rude people say.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,699
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving?

@BoopOMatic 


@BoopOMatic wrote:

@qvcadditionYou sound like a bright, interesting person and I'm glad you have enough sense to take care of yourself and not expose yourself to such stupidity & rudeness. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's rudeness.

 You don't have to put up with that and I'm glad you didn't.

 My Thanksgiving was my husband, myself, and our 2 dogs, but I enjoyed the day as our dogs love us and we don't have to worry about them being RUDE.

 My Frenchie got the first bite of our Thanksgiving meal if that tells you anything!

 

happy0005.gif


 

Sounds like a great Thanksgiving meal and day.  Yes, I understand about the dogs.  My Melanie is my family and nothing to good for her.  She has me wrapped around her little paw.  I rescued her, but in reality, she saved me.

Animals are so loyal , appreciate and loving.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,699
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving?

@kivah 


@kivah wrote:

@Catsrule wrote:

Blessings to you! I too am alone, and enjoying the nice day.

 

 I'm in Phoenix also so I relate to enough heat already. 

 

Had several invites from friends, but I always feel intrusive on a family holiday, so graciously declined. Salmon and sweet potato on my menu, listening to music and enjoying life. Last year I was diagnosed with breast cancer the day before Thanksgiving, so this year is much better with all the treatments in my rear view mirror.

 

Hugs!


So glad those cancer treatments are over. This is going to be a much happier time for u.


So glad this was a much better Thanksgiving and year for you.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,708
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving?

My best friend, who lives on the other side of the country, is on the outs with her kids. Neither invited her to Thanksgiving dinner. They left town without a care, even though they all live close to each other. Finally, she got an invitation from a hiking buddy, which she accepted. I told her she is always welcome at my home but the distance makes the trip really difficult. We had a Zoom dinner for a little while with the rest of my family and though it wasn't as good as the real thing it was better than not seeing each other at all.