Among Friends

[spumoni99]

My daughter got married March 2024, it was a pretty big wedding.  My other daughter has no boyfriend in sight at the moment.

[Laura14]

I always have a panic attack when I see unmarried people buy houses together and put each other on the deed or mortgage.

None of my business how they have that arranged, but for anyone considering this, remember there is ZERO legal protection without a marriage license, if it all falls apart. 

And I have never seen people rationally divide property or finances, ever, after a long term relationship ends.

It's such a huge risk to take. I honestly hope you do attend a wedding soon, if only for everyone's finances and equity.     

[raspberrygal]

thank you, Laura 14

Both my sons are in their early 40's.  The son that owns the house his life partner's mother and father divorced and I think that is what has soured her on getting married herself.  She is very devoted to both parents and lives near her mother and visits her father in AZ once a year.  I can't figure out why she blames herself for their divorce.  Both of them have found new live-in partners and are really happy.  You go figure.

[PinkyPetunia]

My youngest niece is getting married Aug. 31.  It will be a big wedding.  She is in her late 20's.  

[JoyFilled Warrior]

One of the "used to claims" I'd known was that Long Term Marriage had 3 Phases:  1)  Lust, Hormones ..  2) Raising children ..  3)  Companionship.   (I see now that Google presents many different takes on phases of marriage)

As the Divorce Rate soured upward thru these yrs, (of which those around me, esp family members, contributed in LARGE PART), my observation became that an increasing amt of couple's marriage phases seemed to trade in/out of partners for perhaps 1 or more of these Phases.

To me, it seems the most Miracles of Miracles is that a couple were happily married for a lifetime & seemed to make these supposed 3 phases of marriage work.  Truly!  and I do not know how they do it.  Just a miracle!  and I dont, & won't stop asking:   

   "What is the secret to a/your successful marriage?"

And I love & enjoy all these varied shared answers. 

Best of life & love to all couples ... 

[brandiwine]

---

@JoyFilled Warrior wrote:

One of the "used to claims" I'd known was that Long Term Marriage had 3 Phases:  1)  Lust, Hormones ..  2) Raising children ..  3)  Companionship.   (I see now that Google presents many different takes on phases of marriage)

As the Divorce Rate soured upward thru these yrs, (of which those around me, esp family members, contributed in LARGE PART), my observation became that an increasing amt of couple's marriage phases seemed to trade in/out of partners for perhaps 1 or more of these Phases.

To me, it seems the most Miracles of Miracles is that a couple were happily married for a lifetime & seemed to make these supposed 3 phases of marriage work.  Truly!  and I do not know how they do it.  Just a miracle!  and I dont, & won't stop asking:   

   "What is the secret to a/your successful marriage?"

And I love & enjoy all these varied shared answers. 

Best of life & love to all couples ... 

---

I guess my husband & I (53 years) didn't realize you gave up the desire stage.  We still can't wait to be in each others arms.  Yes, we raised a family and we are best friends, but our love only continues to grow.  

[JoyFilled Warrior]

@brandiwine   Congrats!  You seem so very, very blessed. 

[wagirl]

My DS got married last Sept--to a lovely woman with 4  grown kids. DD is not interested in marriage at all. Am fine with all that.

[cindyNC]

My boyfriend and I have been together since 2002.  After the first few years his cousins wanted to know when we were getting married.   Told them after his other cousin/girlfriend got married..........they will never get married.

He has kids, I don't.  I'm a saver, he's a spender. 

[tansy]

Both of my sons were in their 30s before they married.  I never said a peep as it needed to be their decision.  One is still married; the other one isn't.

Not a fan of big wedding ceremonies in any case.