Anxiety in the elderly - Page 2

GSPgirl · ‎01-03-2012

wrote:
@GSPgirl Why don't you call the doctor's office and see whether you can speak to them? Health power of attorney means you direct their medical care. I don't think it means no other family member can call the doctor to discuss the patient's condition. Maybe the doctor can't give you all the info about your mother's care because of HIPAA regulations, but he/she likely would desperately want to take in this information. It is crucial to your mother's medical care. Call Monday morning and tell the receptionist that you have critical information you must give the doctor. You could ask whether it is best to arrange a call back or to send the doctor an e-mail. You are indeed an angel on earth to your mother!

Thank you for your kind and encouraging words! I will call him on Monday. She told me she went to him to get of the Ativan and he made an app for her to see the Psychiatric mental Nurse sometime this week. I think this month will be a bumpy ride.

Vivian · ‎03-11-2010

I spoke to Mom’s GP about this a couple of years ago. He prescribed Xanax. My mother couldn’t tolerate it. Even a small dose made her very dizzy. Her cardiologist said that in my mother’s case, those meds are contraindicated. My mother’s balance is very poor. She has already had several serious falls, not attributed to any meds, but since these psychotropic drugs have dizziness as a potential side effect, they are dangerous for her. I suspect that even if there’s a drug out there that she could tolerate, my mother would never take it on a regular basis, because she thinks there is no way to control her longstanding anxiety and won’t want to spend money on meds. that are not absolutely necessary.

My brother, who lives much closer to our mother than I do, tells me this is my mother’s problem, not mine, that if I don’t answer the phone and she panics, I am not to blame. Of course he is right, and in some ways I am an enabler. However, Mom refuses to take responsibility for her out-of-control behavior and I am dam*ned if I do as she asks and dam*ned if I try to ignore it. My brother says my mother is acting selfishly, knowing I have my hands full with my husband’s Alzheimer’s added to my own surgery and illness. I don’t want to resent my mother for all this but it does seem that at times she just wants me to feed her mental monsters.

OfCourse · ‎08-26-2017

@GSPgirl If your mother was on one SSRI and it made her sick, she might have a good response to another. The doctor needs your information.

OfCourse · ‎08-26-2017

@Vivian I find your brother's assessment of the situation outrageous. He clearly doesn't understand your mother's situation, I can't imagine why not. She's almost 100 years old. Who can expect someone that age to "man up" and deal with things on her own? Perhaps he should give you help to lessen the burden on you rather than saying your mother is being selfish. He seems to me to be the selfish one. I'm sorry if my post sounds harsh, but that's my take.

Vivian · ‎03-11-2010

Ofcourse, I agree with you . That’s why I don’t do what my brother suggests. His attitude allows him to be disengaged. He says that Mom never did anything about her anxiety issues when she could or should have so he washes his hands of it. He visits Mom but refuses to buy into the panic. My daughters and I think it’s cruel.

StillStandin · ‎01-27-2018

@Vivianwrote:
My mother is 95 years old. She admits to suffering from anxiety all her life. I’ve witnessed it first hand for 70 years. Now that she is less mobile, and long-ago retired, her anxiety has worsened and now it is affecting her health in dangerous ways.

Here’s a recent example. I told my mother I had a PT appointment for 9am Tuesday. I had knee replacement surgery followed by an intestinal infection but I am doing fairly well now. Mom had broken her hip in November and, thankfully, she is recovering well for someone her age. She started calling me three times a day (we used to talk once a day) to reassure herself that I was doing OK. However, she forgot about my PT appointment and as soon as she got no phone answer, she went into full panic mode. Her aide could not calm her down. She called my land line and my cell over a dozen times within a span of 20 minutes. I had shut my cell because I was doing PT.

My mother called my daughters, my brother, and my neighbor, who all guessed correctly that I was probably at PT. Mom assumed something dire had happened to me, that I was at the hospital (even though her call to the hospital proved her wrong). She assumed I had not yet been processed at the ER. All this happened between just before 9 am until I returned home at 9:45 am.

Since that day, Mom has not been feeling well. She has already suffered several mini-strokes over the past few years and confessed on Weds that her hands were feeling tingly. Her aide and I both recalled previous instances where Mom panicked uncontrollably and irrationally and was ill for days afterwards. She would never go to a therapist and simply repeats her mantra, «I can’t help it.» She had several panic attacks when she was at rehab for her hip and they did medicate her, but 95 year olds should not regularly be given anti anxiety drugs.

This is not a new phenomenon. When my husband and I took our kids out to a later-than-usual dinner because we were on vacation, my mother called the local police to find us. That was 45 years ago. After the most recent incident, she begged me for my February schedule. I did send her my PT and doctor appointments but reminded her that I’ll be returning to the Y for workouts and that I may be having lunch or dinner out. I know what will happen. She will panic if she thinks I should be home. It’s driving me crazy but it is making my mother physically ill.

I see myself here 5 years ago but not today because my darling daughter who has always known what was best for me throughout my life contacted A PLACE FOR MOM. Our children should be spared to live their lives I cared for my ailing mother for 20 yrs and then when she passed at 85 my husband needed my care. Now we are both in assisted living where we have routine and structure. So my advice to you Vivian is consider lifting your burden and your mother's poses for help you've done and are doing your best. Alicia

StillStandin · ‎01-27-2018

wrote:
@Vivian It sounds as if you've helped your mother a great deal over the years because she relies on you to be there. That's a wonderful gift to her and has probably helped her anxiety level. A couple of things that come to mind are to not shut your phone off but only answer it if it's your mother. Could you then talk to her for a couple of seconds, tell her where you are and when you will call her back? Also, could a psychiatrist come up with some type of medication that would help her anxiety and be okay for her age? If so, that could make a big difference.

In my case Xanax helped along with a few trips to the Emergency Room!

OfCourse · ‎08-26-2017

@Vivianwrote:
Ofcourse, I agree with you . That’s why I don’t do what my brother suggests. His attitude allows him to be disengaged. He says that Mom never did anything about her anxiety issues when she could or should have so he washes his hands of it. He visits Mom but refuses to buy into the panic. My daughters and I think it’s cruel.

@Vivian You are another angel on earth for your mother.

Q4u · ‎03-17-2010

@Vivianwrote:
I spoke to Mom’s GP about this a couple of years ago. He prescribed Xanax. My mother couldn’t tolerate it. Even a small dose made her very dizzy. Her cardiologist said that in my mother’s case, those meds are contraindicated. I suspect that even if there’s a drug out there that she could tolerate, my mother would never take it on a regular basis, because she thinks there is no way to control her longstanding anxiety and won’t want to spend money on meds. that are not absolutely necessary.

My brother, who lives much closer to our mother than I do, tells me this is my mother’s problem, not mine, that if I don’t answer the phone and she panics, I am not to blame. Of course he is right, and in some ways I am an enabler. However, Mom refuses to take responsibility for her out-of-control behavior and I am dam*ned if I do as she asks and dam*ned if I try to ignore it. My brother says my mother is acting selfishly, knowing I have my hands full with my husband’s Alzheimer’s added to my own surgery and illness. I don’t want to resent my mother for all this but it does seem that at times she just wants me to feed her mental monsters.

Anxiety and panic attacks are not controllable per se usually without medication and/or therapy and your brother's attempt to control her panic will not be achieved by ignoring her, potentially making it worse. I feel your brother could be far more responsive to your Mother (rather than ignoring her) by helping her and relieving some of your anxiety and stress. I pray your Mom (and you) gets relief from this...

*~"Never eat more than you can lift......" Miss Piggy~*