Re: Am I too sensitive?

ladyroxanne · ‎03-09-2010

i haven't read any of the responses, but i will go back and do so.

you are totally not being too sensitive. your guests on the other hand are not being sensitive at all, not to mention their very bad manners.

serve your dinner and the wine and the hell with them. i am on a restrictive diet myself, but it's my choosing. when i'm invited to someone's home, i eat what they are serving and always enjoy it, too.

these women knew in dec. that you were the hostess this month. if they had really serious issues they could at least have let you know then.

ladyroxanne · ‎03-09-2010

@chrystaltree

where did you read that these people were actually bringing their own food? i didn't read that, but i may be mistaken. i'll go back and read again.

Montana · ‎03-09-2010

I'm having a hard time putting "dear friends" and this rude behavior together. What kind of friends are these?

stevieb · ‎03-10-2010

I don't think you are @catmama. You said you were a little put out and I don't blame you. Those who think you are must have assumed you were devastated by the lack of consideration of your friends, which isn't what you indicated.

In my pantry with my cupcakes...

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@happygolfcartrider wrote:
@apple1964 wrote:
This is a very strange thread. If this is a tradition to have these women meet with you quite often, I can believe they never mentioned there dietary habits to you before this. Very strange indeed!
I don't think this is strange at all. They could have gone on a diet a week before the dinner. I think you are trying to read into the situation something that is not there.

Exactly - I don't think it's strange either. I think the whole point is that these new dietary restrictions (and non-drinking) were a suprise to the OP, and she was blindsided by them just one day before the dinner. She thought she knew who she was preparing for because they're all already in the habit of getting together. But they threw her a curveball at the last minute.

That was my take on the situation. Nothing "strange" about it. Just people who were inconsiderate.

Hayfield · ‎03-10-2010

No, you are not too sensitive, they're just rude. I'm going to assume that since the dinner was in January, after the holdiay season, they had put themselves on those dietary restrictions. I know that all my women freinds, including me have, we're all trying to "get back on track" after the holidays. That being said, they should've told you way in advance, or maybe you all should've decided to skip the January dinner and just get together for coffee somewhere. I'm not saying you should drop these friends if you enjoy their company but I wouldn't be entertaining them in my house again, I'd suggest meeting at a restaurant.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@Hayfield wrote:
No, you are not too sensitive, they're just rude. I'm going to assume that since the dinner was in January, after the holdiay season, they had put themselves on those dietary restrictions. I know that all my women freinds, including me have, we're all trying to "get back on track" after the holidays. That being said, they should've told you way in advance, or maybe you all should've decided to skip the January dinner and just get together for coffee somewhere. I'm not saying you should drop these friends if you enjoy their company but I wouldn't be entertaining them in my house again, I'd suggest meeting at a restaurant.

I agree that it might be time to make some changes. I understand how nice it is to meet in each other's homes for dinner. I think that's a lovely, fun thing to do. But if dietary restrictions are going to be a problem going forward, then maybe meeting in restaurants rather than homes from now on might be the best idea. So for sure I agree with you about that.

It's not the same as cooking for friends and enjoying time in each other's homes. But I would think that these get-togethers are meant to be fun, and it sounds to me as though the fun factor may fall by the wayside if these kinds of problems continue and people are left with hurt/bad feelings. At least in a restaurant everyone can order whatever they like, and the OP and her friends will be able to enjoy each other's company without anyone's dietary preferences impacting anyone else.

Financialgrl · ‎03-13-2010

I have two friends who I meet with two or three times a month to go places - we don't have dinners in our homes. It's too hard with dietery restrictions so years ago we set "rules". If we meet, we eat out at a restaurant and there's ALWAYS something one can find on the menu. We long ago also decided - separate checks. That removes the whole splitting of the bill issues when one drinks, someone else doesn't or someone orders an appetizer to keep their costs down while someone orders steak or lobster.

Much easier when each makes their own choice and has control over their finances bc this way each is responsible for paying the costs if they choose to drink or buy higher dollar entrees.