Among Friends

[AngelPuppy1]

You are not too sensitive --- at all!  They are not being courteous to you as the host.  They should put themselves in your place --- how would they feel if the tables were turned?  You go to the trouble of figuring out what you will serve which you believe that everyone will enjoy and go out and shop and spend a good deal of money, not only on food but on a wine, and then you are told on very short notice, that they do not want to eat or drink things which you have selected and plan to prepare.  It is very rude and inconsiderate.  

[jubilant]

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@catmamma wrote:

Last night I had several women friends over for dinner.  This is a monthly tradition and we each take turns.  I prepared what I thought was a healthy meal, but the day before 2 of them contacted me and  announced they were on special diets, and wouldn't be eating any of the food I would prepare. I had already done my shopping and had some of the dishes prepared.  I thought that since they knew we were getting together, the date had been picked in December, that they could have given me more than 1 days notice of their intentions.  Not only that, we have wine with our meal and 2 others besides the originals indicated they had given up wine for the month of January.  So here I have food that isn't going to be eaten by 2 of them and wine that won't be drank by 4 of them.  Food and wine isn't cheap and I was a little put out by their lack of courtesy.  Am I overreacting?

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********** If they were going to say something...... it would have been better and more courteous to you, to have said it earlier. I think being frustrated would be normal.  Don't let it nest too long. If, on the whole, you enjoy these women, next time tell them  you need some notice a few days ahead.  Better yet, just ask if anyone is on a restricted diet.  If I was on a diet with several restrictions, I would simply tell the host that I had stuck something in a little lunch bag and not to worry about me....that I would eat what I can and fill in with what I had brought.

[Yardlie]

I think it was very rude of them. However, I think you should have spoken up...or have the group agree on some rules for notifications before future get-togethers.

[qualitygal]

I'd say, as long as they bring the food they need and you don't have to replace any of it for them, let it go. Keep what they won't have, and invite some other friends or family over for another day. Make it simple.

You did your part, nutz to them as my old dad would have said.

[happycat]

I don't think you are overreacting at all. I think these frieds are rude. That being said, I have some friends who have been rude to me also. More and more, it seems like all anyone thinks about is Me, Me, Me. People only think of themselves more and more. I'm sorry they treated you like that. I'm not perfect, but I do think about others feelings.

[mantaraye]

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@dfyre wrote:

Knowing myself, I likely would have said "gosh, I wish you had told me before I bought/prepared all this food" - wine, no problem, it keeps. In any event, this brings to mind a dinner I had many years ago (early 80's I think) for some old high school buddies. One gal was into "healthy" eating which was something relatively new at the time. She brought some sort of brown rice/yogurt casserole and told us all how she did not permit white sugar in her house. I had made a rather rich pie with a meringue/pecan crust filled with whipped cream and shaved chocolate. She singlehandedly ate nearly half the pie - exactly what kind of sugar did she think I put in it anyway?

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LOL

[BORN AGAIN]

You were not being too sensitive. What they did was rude.

[BORN AGAIN]

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@ncascade wrote:

A little and your grammar is slightly off. Because I am a "fussy" eater I usually will bring my own food. No one seems to mind. If they do-too bad.

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You need to check your own basket!

[Marienkaefer2]

Yes, I think it's very rude.

My mom has Celiac, and our good friends know, so if we go to their house for a meal, they try to prepare something gluten free.

However, my mom never makes a big deal about it. She will just eat food that she knows she can eat from what's already there.....veg, salad, etc.  It only usually gets tricky at dessert, but she will just have coffee or tea if there isn't anything she can eat.

I think that if all of these people have dietary restrictions, then probably the best thing for your group would be to agree on a restaurant to meet, where they each have a pretty good chance of getting something which they can eat.

I don't feel it should be up to one person to customize a meal for several people with dietary restrictions.  That could get tricky, expensive, and time consuming.

[happygolfcartrider]

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@catmamma wrote:

Last night I had several women friends over for dinner.  This is a monthly tradition and we each take turns.  I prepared what I thought was a healthy meal, but the day before 2 of them contacted me and  announced they were on special diets, and wouldn't be eating any of the food I would prepare. I had already done my shopping and had some of the dishes prepared.  I thought that since they knew we were getting together, the date had been picked in December, that they could have given me more than 1 days notice of their intentions.  Not only that, we have wine with our meal and 2 others besides the originals indicated they had given up wine for the month of January.  So here I have food that isn't going to be eaten by 2 of them and wine that won't be drank by 4 of them.  Food and wine isn't cheap and I was a little put out by their lack of courtesy.  Am I overreacting?

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Absolutely not! It is hard work to have even two people for dinner. These women were rude to do what they did. I hope you had the dinner and the rest of your friends enjoyed the meal and the wine.