Adoption and conceiving through IVF - Page 2

IMW · ‎06-15-2014

@roxxy1 wrote:
@Shanus wrote:
Each family is different and children, as they grow into adulthood, are different. We adopted our son when he was 4 days old. Before I could get the hang of caring for an infant....pregnant! My kids are a year apart...boy and a girl.

It’s up to the parents to create a feeling that everyone’s treated the same way. If any doubts about raising an adopted child or what you’d feel if you also had a biological child...don’t adopt. It’s not right for you.

We were thoroughly screened for months....forms, interviews, what ifs, etc.

When I’d took both children out, I met someone I had not seen for awhile and they asked, “Now, let’s see, which child is the adopted one?” I answered, “You know, I can never remember.”

They are 46 and 45 now and live on opposite coasts w/ their families, but remain close...keep in touch by text, email, FB and phone calls.
@Shanus Good answer, You know, I can never remember.

Nice post........heartwarming

Yes, perfect answer. I was adopted and told before I was 2. It was a normal part of my life. My parents told me I was chosen and special. I never had issues, and was surprised to find that so many others do.

I was blessed with the most loving parents. My mother always said her only regret was not adopting another. Never searched for birth parents or siblings- I Never wanted or needed to.

I believe to adopt a child is the ultimate gift of love.

It takes a very special person to do so. Bless them all.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

You're putting your own feelings into that. Parents love their adopted children every bit as much as they love their birth children and their children grow up knowing that.

Vivian · ‎03-11-2010

My sister-in-law and brother went through five failed IVF attempts. The side effects were awful. I just hope there won’t be a health price to pay down the road. They adopted a beautiful little girl, my favorite niece. She is now in college and after a few tough years in adolescence, she’s doing very well. I am very proud of her.

MarieIG · ‎03-10-2010

I could not imagine NOT falling head-over-heels in love with an adopted baby!

Do the math.

Bri63 · ‎04-21-2018

I know several people who have adopted. They love them all the same. They were told from the time they were little. It doesn't seem to be an issue.

My daughter has a friend that was born through the use of a surrogate. The surrogate was her mom's sister. The sister's egg was used. This girl had no idea that her aunt is actually her mom. She found out when she saw her birth certificate by accident when she went to college. She was devastated.

I do believe in using whatever means you can to have a baby. I also believe you should be truthful about it with the child.

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

@MarieIG wrote:
I could not imagine NOT falling head-over-heels in love with an adopted baby!

@MarieIG I can’t imagine not falling in love w/ ANY child placed in my arms as mine. I somewhat object to the distinction of adopted baby. I had my son home at 4 days old and my daughter not until she was 8 days old since was a C section. As far as I’m concerned that’s the only difference I remember. At some new doctor’s first appts. when asked to fill out forms and if they inquire...How many pregnancies, you can’t imagine how many times I write two and then have to change it to one.

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

@Carmie wrote:
I have a friend who was married for 11 years and couldn't get pregnant. She and her DH tried IVF twice with her husband's sperm and her eggs.

On the second try, she conceived twin girls. I had to laugh when after she gave birth she made him have a vasectomy.

My Aunt adopted two children way back in the 60's. She is Italian as is her husband. They used to try to match up children with parents who looked alike....same nationally, etc.

My Aunt received a call one day that a boy was available for adoption. He was supposed to go to another couple, but they got pregnant while waiting and declined adopting. My aunt took him...he had blue eyes and very white blond hair.

Three years later, they adopted an Italian baby girl. Both children were told they were adopted before they even knew what that meant. They both are grown up, with kids of their own and they are part of our family. We all love them.

My husband worked with a guy who never knew he and his biological sister were adopted until both of their parents were dead. Image finding out something like that in your early 50's while going through paperwork. He also found out he has other siblings.

Having children naturally, by adoption or by " test tube" is a personal decision that is unique to each couple or person. I truly believe that a child does not have to be biological yours to be loved.

There are many, many blended families today. All is good when children are wanted and loved.

If a family wants a biological child for some reason, that is their business. They gotta do what they are compelled to do. It might end up being a heartbreaking for them, even after many attempts.

@Carmie We were counseled by our social worker to use the word adoption openly in conversation from Day One. We had many children’s book to read them about older adopted children coming into a family, biological & adopted kids in same family, etc. It was never a big deal.

viva923 · ‎03-12-2010

some dear friends of my DD just received their first child into their home. A brand new baby. They tried every known advancement to science to have children. Nothing worked. Finally decided to adopt. they went thur the whole pregnancy with the mother and father (very young couple). When the mother went into labor they were at the hospital waiting with open arms. They named the child after the dad and the biological father of the baby. They were so grateful this couple gave up their child so they could take care and raise the child with love galore.

this couple are the sweetest couple, so loving, so kind. They are both teachers and have been for years. I am very happy for them.

the rules for the child are very strict due to adoption. child is not allowed to be seen by anyone for 3 months except for the adoptive mom/dad. Not sure if the adoptive family (aunts-uncles and so forth) are allowed to see the baby. I know my DD said the adoptive parents are not allowed to have any kind of baby shower gathering for this 3 month wait. It may be due to all signing of papers. Not sure. I just know the adoptive parents are such good people and are very happy now.

lovesrecess · ‎03-14-2010

if it were not for IVF, I would not have my 8 wonderful grandchildren. I see no religious basis to oppose it at all. The babies are all biologically theirs. I have three kids; they and their spouses determined this was the only way they could have a baby after consulting with drs and suffering several miscarriages; I considered the IVF procedure a gift from God

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

I’m having difficulty following why & how a baby comes into this world is anyone else’s business....except the parents. There are many methods to conceive other than IVF. I’d hate to be talked about or questioned how I got pregnant. The new baby (or child of any age) is what’s important, not how they got here.