Re: When to reveal your finances when dating.

Shawnie · ‎03-10-2010

@Kitlynn wrote:
It is not anyones' business about your finances until you are actually getting married and have set a date. Then it can be discussed on both sides including debt you have and income. Until then her money is hers and his is his and they only need to know that the other person has a job.

SHe should get an attorney, a detective and a prenup. Her money is none of his business!

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

@itiswhatitis wrote:
@LilyLu wrote:
My daughter is in a relationship with a lovely man and they are planning a future together. She is a professional and financially secure and we are co owners of a business. He is always asking her how much she makes and information on her finances. I feel she shouldn't reveal this information until she has a ring and a date. What are your thoughts?
It's as simple as that. Until he marries her, it's none of his business.

This is so very wrong. If they are at a point of getting married, or planning to work toward that goal, they both have every right to know about the other's finances. There should be no surprises or secrets on or after the wedding when it comes to finances, past, current, and future plans/desires/goals.

Financial problems are one of the leading causes of divorce.

And quite frankly, if the discussion doesn't just seem natural and timely, and easy, they either aren't right for each other or aren't ready for 'planning a future together'.

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

@Kitlynn wrote:
It is not anyones' business about your finances until you are actually getting married and have set a date. Then it can be discussed on both sides including debt you have and income. Until then her money is hers and his is his and they only need to know that the other person has a job.

I can't believe people today still believe this about finances.

Would those of you who really believe this, handle in the same manner, issues like religion, desire to have a family and when, career goals and where to live to achieve those things?

Those and money are really important things that people should be on the same page about, or at least be fully aware of the other's views and positions on, way before a ring and a date.

itiswhatitis · ‎05-27-2016

@Mominohio wrote:
@itiswhatitis wrote:
@LilyLu wrote:
My daughter is in a relationship with a lovely man and they are planning a future together. She is a professional and financially secure and we are co owners of a business. He is always asking her how much she makes and information on her finances. I feel she shouldn't reveal this information until she has a ring and a date. What are your thoughts?
It's as simple as that. Until he marries her, it's none of his business.

This is so very wrong. If they are at a point of getting married, or planning to work toward that goal, they both have every right to know about the other's finances. There should be no surprises or secrets on or after the wedding when it comes to finances, past, current, and future plans/desires/goals.

Financial problems are one of the leading causes of divorce.

And quite frankly, if the discussion doesn't just seem natural and timely, and easy, they either aren't right for each other or aren't ready for 'planning a future together'.

@Mominohio, This is my opinion. I'm not the only person here who shares this view. I'm entitled to my opinion, just like you are entitled to your own.

*Call Tyrone*

KarenQVC · ‎05-13-2010

Why didn't he marry the mother of his child? Not rich enuf? This whole situation stinks.

Mz iMac · ‎07-26-2014

Some of you folks need to watch the movie The Heiress.

"Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference."

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

I'd run, not walk......to a corporate, or whatever they're called, attorney. Mainly because the daughter is part owner in her parents' business. Lots of family businesses have to protect their assets from being 'attached', liens, incumbrances, etc., because of various 'this and that' situations in the future and down the line. A woman (and also man) has to consider a marriage a sort of business, especially when one or both of them are part owners in someone else's business/company.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

I'm going to look up The Heiress, the movie. Sounds interesting, anyway.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

Mrsq2022 · ‎03-10-2010

@Mominohio wrote:
@Kitlynn wrote:
It is not anyones' business about your finances until you are actually getting married and have set a date. Then it can be discussed on both sides including debt you have and income. Until then her money is hers and his is his and they only need to know that the other person has a job.

I can't believe people today still believe this about finances.

Would those of you who really believe this, handle in the same manner, issues like religion, desire to have a family and when, career goals and where to live to achieve those things?

Those and money are really important things that people should be on the same page about, or at least be fully aware of the other's views and positions on, way before a ring and a date.

I could not agree more. I think that this is an antiquated way of thinking about money, and impractical. If a woman is financially independent, she needs to use her head and not get taken advantage of (which I fear based on the OPs concerns). To wait until the time the "date is set" could be tragic if there had been any misinterpretation about one another's ability to contribute to the household. Like finding out your fiancé didn't want children only after the invitations had been sent. Too late.

itiswhatitis · ‎05-27-2016

@catwhisperer wrote:
@software wrote:
The OP has a more complicated financial situation than you may have had so many years ago.

@catwhisperer wrote:
My DH and I discussed finances a couple days after meeting. We have been together 31 years and have never had a problem with this issue.

@software...Huh? I didn't have a "complicated situation" because my SO and I were up front with our finances right after we met.

@I think the difference here that @software was trying to make is that there is a jointy owned business involved here. That's the more "complicated" aspect of it all.

*Call Tyrone*