He'll Leave You After One Time--Can't Get it Out o... - Page 2

Kardi · ‎05-20-2010

I'm sure your mom told you that thinking it would scare you out of having s$x. Too bad she didn't realize how powerful her words were. My mom used to tell me I was selfish every time I did anything she didn't approve of. Guess what, I've spent my life trying to prove her wrong. Don't get me wrong, I've had a good life. Mostly because I married a great guy, but everyone in my life came first, never me. I passed every opportunity I had to better myself, getting more education, or just pursuing things I enjoyed, because God forbid it would use family resources that could be used for someone else. I have been a cheerleader in life, never a competitor. Words are powerful. Just because she was your mom doesn't mean she was right. Her intentions may have been good, her method might have been faulty.

MarieIG · ‎03-10-2010

Well, my thoughts are I would not rush into that "one time". If he is the right one, he will wait until you are ready.

And yes, there are men out there who are only interested in "that" and will move on afterwards. They don't tend to have too much patience for waiting. There are also many wonderful men out there. If someone threatens you with moving on if you don't (before you are really ready) move on.

Do the math.

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@JBKO wrote:
Good evening everyone. Growing up, my parents employed scared tactics when it came to a lot of things. As far as dating, my mother always told me that a guy will leave you after ONE time. O.N.E time. Not one year or one summer, ONE time. I cannot seem to get this out of my head and always, always, always feel that men are only after one thing for ONE time. I hope you know what I mean. It has really affected me from dating and meeting people.

What are your thoughts? If you have an issue with me or my questions, I would like to kindly remind you that you do not have to join the conversation.

i think some counseling may be of help. A therapist can help you sort out why you continue to let the voices in your head from your parents have such an impact on your life.

Mrsq2022 · ‎03-10-2010

@Trinity11 wrote:
@JBKO wrote:
Good evening everyone. Growing up, my parents employed scared tactics when it came to a lot of things. As far as dating, my mother always told me that a guy will leave you after ONE time. O.N.E time. Not one year or one summer, ONE time. I cannot seem to get this out of my head and always, always, always feel that men are only after one thing for ONE time. I hope you know what I mean. It has really affected me from dating and meeting people.

What are your thoughts? If you have an issue with me or my questions, I would like to kindly remind you that you do not have to join the conversation.
i think some counseling may be of help. A therapist can help you sort out why you continue to let the voices in your head from your parents have such an impact on your life.

I actually agree. The problem isn't really about whether a man will leave you after one time but that you can't get this out of your head.

I mean, you obviously know that this isn't true. Otherwise, none of us would be married lol. I do think that first date is probably a bad idea, but after how many dates should you let that "one time" stop haunting you? Great question for a qualified therapist.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

My guess is your mother was dumped after she had secks...one time....with a man and was emotionally scarred. She brainwashed you. You need to see a therapist.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

@JBKO wrote:
Love Roses I know for a fact that wasn't her experience. She has only been with my father.

A few years ago I did have some communication with a woman who happened to be a high school counselor. She did tell me that she had had to console many a girl who were dumped right after being with a guy for one time.

@JBKO wrote:
Love Roses I know for a fact that wasn't her experience. She has only been with my father.

A few years ago I did have some communication with a woman who happened to be a high school counselor. She did tell me that she had had to console many a girl who were dumped right after being with a guy for one time.

You cant know what happened to your mother before you were even born. Your mother obviously had intimacy issues and made sure that you had them too. Face it and go into therapy or accept that you have "issues" that will prevent you from having a healthy relationship with a man.

ladyroxanne · ‎03-09-2010

@JBKO

i really have nothing to add to some of the wonderful advice you have received here, but i wanted to say that you seem so sweet and genuine. i hope everything turns out well for you because you deserve it.

blackhole99 · ‎08-22-2013

@JBKO I don't know how old you are, but I was a teen during the s-xual revolution in the 60's and early 70's. My family was also very catholic so we were told all kinds of things to deter us from the sins of the flesh. I never thought s-x was dirty and I wasn't looking at the boys as potential mates so I could care less if they dropped me or not.