Another Good Article about STUFF and DOWNSIZING - Page 5

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@esmeraldagooch wrote:
@Sooner wrote:
@esmeraldagooch wrote:
@Sooner Thank you for this post. I took it to heart and filled my garbage can and recycle yesterday. I will be moving again soon and needed to get rid of my things and mom's too.

I have older friends who had their children sell everything to comapnies instead of wanting their precious geneational antiques. One in the assisted living is sad, the other was dead when her kids did it.
@esmeraldagoochI'm glad you understood the gist of it. I have had to do this too many times, and it makes me glad to see that some of this is hitting a responsive note with people and the trend of dealing with it while people are still alive might catch on with some. People now often have so very much more stuff than previous generations had to deal with, move more, have less time--and for many families it is an overwhelming issue. So maybe it is natural that attitudes now begin to change because things are different.

I understand some people are horrified by that and taking it to the extreme in thought, but most people do not have fine antiques and valuable furniture, and pieces are often in styles not wanted by another generation. Not many now enjoy decorating like the Lincoln family did. So in my opinion it is great that people are thinking about it in a positive and considerate way rather than being sad as you said in your post.

And if anyone wants to call me arrogant because I feel that way, I am fine with it. I've simply come to the point in life where I don't want to be defined by or guilted by or ruled by stuff. Especially someone else's stuff. Even my own--a big expensive wood china cabinet is going out because in my own life, it's not a piece I need or cherish at this stage of life. Even though I have several sets of china in a closet upstairs! I have replaced it with a more modern piece of furniture I love. Had it, loved it, tired of looking a it!
@Sooner Actually, It makes sense to downsize. I will be paying to move 17 hour drive away and the least I have to move, the better. Do you ever get the feeling that "stuff" is holding you back? Like a burden? Everything has memories and when I actually get rid of "stuff" it's a freeing feeling.

I started with some artificial flowers yesterday, I had a tub under a bed and a tub in a closet After I emptyied it into the garbage can I went in to scavenger hunt to see what else wouldn't "hurt" to throw in too. I really got onto a roll and threw away probably 150 books.

When I moved from GA to CA I had Habitiat for humanity come twice to haul off furniture. I gave a charity computers and screens, and a bedroom sweet for soldiers who came home with nothing. I hope to send custom framed artwork to Habitiat next.
Might as well help people here too,

@esmeraldagooch Yes, holds me back, ties me down, eats my time and energy and it feels so good when some of it goes on to bless someone else. That's like the china hutch. I loved it, it was wonderful and had a purpose, but now I don't want it, and it is in the way. I still can have big parties and use my dishes, but I don't want that hutch to display them and have to clean everything in it several times a year. No more dusting it, washing everything etc. I had the joy of it for many years, now I'm moving on.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@katmom wrote:
This article is as ridiculous as the ones that tell us what to wear after a certain age.

I would never tell my elderly mother to start downsizing her stuff so it would make it easier on us when she passes! Also we have no way of knowing who will pass first and it is arrogant to think that we will inherit or even have access to the stuff our loved one left behind!

I have a relative that does very well selling antiques and collectibles. He can thank the dummies like the one that put this selfish article together for his source of things to sell!

@katmom You need to walk in someone else's moccasins occasionaly to see several sides of an issue. I think a lot of us can help our elderly relatives get rid of things that might be a burden to them. We can talk about what they want done with some of the things, get needed paperwork together, and get ready to pass along the family heritage. It is gonna happen one way or the other and a lot of older people stress about this very issue.

We have ALWAYS made provisions for my mom in our estate planning. Of course everyone should do that too. And yes, she might certainly live longer than me because I'm pretty sure she could make 99 or a 100, and I might not be around then. But she has dementia so somebody else will have to administer her estate, and our whole family is dead. But she is provided for in our estate, because I have never planned on inheriting anything, and so far everything from two other estates has gone to the nursing homes and even proceeds from the houses that we had to sell, which is fine with me. It's their money.

As one of the dummies who doesn't want to be a museum, lots of us can't absorb several estates of relatives who pass on, nor do we want to. Tastes differ, I want different things and I have a right to them. I also have had the job of being an executor for several estates because a lot of people who aren't dummies like me won't deal with it or have anything to do with the massive job of wrapping up the financials and disposal of property and belongings for someone else. It's too much trouble, so they pick dummy that I am.

Nobody wants to go to the funeral home either because it is depressing and "hard" so guess who winds up there too. Nobody likes planning funerals. Many people simply refuse to be involved. I speak from a lot of experience unfortunately on this stuff.

Your post was very unkind. Different people live different lives and there are some who wind up having to pick up the pieces after someone passes. It's only prudent to think ahead and make plans. It's not being arrogant, it is facing life. It is helpful to everyone. So please tell your friend to thank God for us dummies. I'm happy to help him.

bonnielu · ‎03-11-2010

I took all kinds of things from my parents and grandparents and I cherish them to this day. I ever have things my daughters did not want when they moved around, got married, etc.

NOBODY WANTS ANYTHING I HAVE......NOTHING. SAD AND SOME THINGS ARE CHINA, SILVER, CRYSTAL. Some things WERE COLLECTIBLES IN THE DAY.

I have resigned myself to finding someone out there that wants it now.

I have started getting rid of two things a day starting with clothing. Then I will be listing things on our local Nextdoor dot com website. I have gotten rid of two bikes (charity) and am about to advertise to sell some other things, one at a time.

In our area there are lots of yard sales and auction houses. I am about to go with that soon. I guess with all my stash I better pick up speed LOL

katmom · ‎03-10-2010

@Sooner wrote:
@katmom wrote:
This article is as ridiculous as the ones that tell us what to wear after a certain age.

I would never tell my elderly mother to start downsizing her stuff so it would make it easier on us when she passes! Also we have no way of knowing who will pass first and it is arrogant to think that we will inherit or even have access to the stuff our loved one left behind!

I have a relative that does very well selling antiques and collectibles. He can thank the dummies like the one that put this selfish article together for his source of things to sell!
@katmom wrote:
This article is as ridiculous as the ones that tell us what to wear after a certain age.

I would never tell my elderly mother to start downsizing her stuff so it would make it easier on us when she passes! Also we have no way of knowing who will pass first and it is arrogant to think that we will inherit or even have access to the stuff our loved one left behind!

I have a relative that does very well selling antiques and collectibles. He can thank the dummies like the one that put this selfish article together for his source of things to sell!
@katmom You need to walk in someone else's moccasins occasionaly to see several sides of an issue. I think a lot of us can help our elderly relatives get rid of things that might be a burden to them. We can talk about what they want done with some of the things, get needed paperwork together, and get ready to pass along the family heritage. It is gonna happen one way or the other and a lot of older people stress about this very issue.

We have ALWAYS made provisions for my mom in our estate planning. Of course everyone should do that too. And yes, she might certainly live longer than me because I'm pretty sure she could make 99 or a 100, and I might not be around then. But she has dementia so somebody else will have to administer her estate, and our whole family is dead. But she is provided for in our estate, because I have never planned on inheriting anything, and so far everything from two other estates has gone to the nursing homes and even proceeds from the houses that we had to sell, which is fine with me. It's their money.

As one of the dummies who doesn't want to be a museum, lots of us can't absorb several estates of relatives who pass on, nor do we want to. Tastes differ, I want different things and I have a right to them. I also have had the job of being an executor for several estates because a lot of people who aren't dummies like me won't deal with it or have anything to do with the massive job of wrapping up the financials and disposal of property and belongings for someone else. It's too much trouble, so they pick dummy that I am.

Nobody wants to go to the funeral home either because it is depressing and "hard" so guess who winds up there too. Nobody likes planning funerals. Many people simply refuse to be involved. I speak from a lot of experience unfortunately on this stuff.

Your post was very unkind. Different people live different lives and there are some who wind up having to pick up the pieces after someone passes. It's only prudent to think ahead and make plans. It's not being arrogant, it is facing life. It is helpful to everyone. So please tell your friend to thank God for us dummies. I'm happy to help him.

And yours is unkind as well. I am POA for my mother and she also has dementia and i am not going to ask her what she would like to get rid of when she having a good day.

It's not important at this time. We will deal with it later and let her enjoy the things she is familiar with right now.

Financialgrl · ‎03-13-2010

Dad was a child of the depression and threw nothing out. When we moved him in with me, he gave out all his "treasures" to his kids and the rest of his stuff we tossed out. My sister took mom's good china and good silver. SHe uses the china on holidays but who wants to polish tarnished silver?

Fast forward - and I'm here in an over 55 community. I decluttered/brought little here. Coming into this community is a home built in 2007 and when their garage door is up - has floor to ceiling boxes stacked in half the garage. I have friends who rent a storage unit and put their boxes/stuff in there. My question - like above - - if you have unpacked boxes in your garage from 11 years ago (or own a storage unit with stuff for many years) and no one has opened any in that many years - obviously you haven't unpacked/used/needed it by now - why is it being kept? We asked my nieces/nephews if they wanted anything - but none wanted anything - millenials don't want our junk.

puttypiesmom · ‎10-11-2017

We have floor to ceiling shelves of books in one of our rooms. Very colorful when walking in and everyone loves that room and will climb the available step stool to read titles way up high and pull out books they've never seen. It will be miserable downsizing that. A lot of books just hold memories such as time and place and our reason for purchasing.

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

I have boxes that I haven't opened in years. Sometimes I'll choose one or two, open them and rediscover all but forgotten treasures. If it's china, I may replace what I've been using with it, pack the replaced china in the box and write the date on it. I do the same with art work. I like beautiful things. I don't mind polishing silver while I listen to music, hand washing delicate china and clothing, ironing linen.

LilacTree · ‎03-25-2012

My "stuff" has already been distributed among my daughters. I still have bedroom furniture from Pier One and just bought two new lamps. I prize my paintings (only one original) and each of my daughters already know which ones they want. All of my photo albums will be kept.

My daughter who lives at the shore already has all of my living room furniture, lamps, a dinette set, my Christmas stuff and other knick knacks. My oldest daughter has my solid Danish teak dining room furniture, unless she sold it in the last ten years, and my queen-sized iron bed.

The furniture here which my daughter and I share is all hers. There's a set of sun porch furniture in storage that we have nowhere to put. I don't know where that will wind up, it's very pretty and almost new, all upholstered high quality rattan. That could be sold.

I've already cleaned out my clothes closet three times in the last five years.

I'm sure all of my computer stuff will find a home. My CDs and DVDs will probably be divided up. My paperwork and books will probably just be shredded, or discarded.

In short, there's very little to worry about, as it's all gone already. It could be done and gone in one weekend.

As one who has moved over 40 times, there has been a fairly constant amount of stuff disposed of along the way.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986

dulwich · ‎01-18-2012

It is good reading options on this thread we are in midst of sorting, getting rid of, stuff readying for our move back to CA. from a large house to a very small l bed apartment - the family are all in CA and want us 'oldies' back with them.

What a job! My kids want all the artwork, sculptures and indeed some of the furniture and my dishes so we are fortunate that some of our memories are going to the family but disposing of the rest - DH keeps hiding things I have put in charity shop box - I then dig them out and hide under other stuff.

My advice get rid of things not used on a monthly or annual basis - not like us who have so many items we haven't used in yearsI think we will be at this for months!

It is hard as every item I discard does seem tohave a memory but we are pressing on and our charity shop is delighted.

I unloaded 150 cookbooks today and DH is working on the 'library' of all the other books - 3 walls floor to ceiling books! Gonna have a cuppa tea now can't do anymore!