I have to say, that when I hear the things this article stresses about the disposing of parents/grandparents 'stuff', and the disdain people have for doing so, I get more than a little miffed.
I'm in my mid 50's (geez, I guess in reality I'm heading into my later 50's!) and have more than my share of stuff. I have an 82 year old mother with more than her share of stuff. I have a 21 year old son.
I disagree with the attitudes and conclusions articles like this, and people in general take for granted on this subject.
First and foremost, not everyone in the younger generations hates 'dark' furniture, antiques and family heirlooms. I think there is way too much generalization going on there. Not everyone in this country is living in an ultra minimalist environment, jet setting all over the world, and appreciates only the IKEA look in home decor. My 21 year old son and his girlfriend (and many others) are having fun putting together antique/vintage furniture, dishes, linens jewelry, etc. To make blanket statements that "no one wants that 'junk' is simply incorrect". Search the internet for blogs and FB pages of young people who are into and collecting vintage and antiques. They are out there. They may not be your kids or grandkids, but to make claims that they don't exist is simply false. And the prices being paid for much of this 'junk' might surprise many.
My son has expressed interest in many antiques and things we have. He actually isn't very happy with me because I won't give him some of them already!
Second, I'm not going to push my mother, or myself for that matter, to pare down to the minimum and live without the things we have worked all our lives for, cherish, enjoy and create beautiful homes with. I'm not forcing myself or my loved ones to feel it necessary to spend the rest of our lives with two plates a cup and a fork, so someone doesn't have to clean out the kitchen cabinets or the china cupboard when we die.
People have every right to finish their lives living with their fine furniture, their cherished photo albums, and their wedding crystal if they so choose to. It isn't selfish, it isn't, wrong.
If I (or my child) has to hire an auction company to come in after our passing, to eliminate the things they don't want, so be it. I'm not going to leave basements full of trash, broken things, hoards of bread bags and twistie ties and plastic butter bowls like many depression era folks have done out of fear of not having again sometime in their lives. I'm not going to leave boxes upon boxes of mixed up paper work going back to receipts for my first car purchased during the Carter administration.
I am responsible enough to keep important files current and organized. I'm competent enough not to fill the house with outdated and broken electronics and appliances that I'm "going to fix someday".
I can see people getting frustrated having to clean out situations like this.
But to be so arrogant as to assume, regardless of what generation one belongs to, that those going on before them should do without, release and give up perfectly acceptable things (when did we come to the place where if you have and love your china, or 12 pc teapot collection, you are out of touch, greedy and selfish for having and enjoying it?), just to make the survivor's lives easier is just that, arrogant.
When each of us individually decides we have no use for certain things anymore, that is when they go. We shouldn't feel dictated to by our children, today's fads and trends, or what other people think we should be doing. I spent a good 20 years sacrificing for my son, as my parents did for me. We gave up time, money, opportunities to have and do things, in order to give to and raise our children. So don't expect me to feel sorry for myself when my mom dies and I have to clear out her space, and I will not feel guilt for the work my son will have to put into cleaning out my home. If we drag our feet, it will take a month working on it part time/in spare time. Less time than that if we wave a wand and have a service come in and take it all to auction. I don't consider that much to give back for all the sacrifice a parent gives over a lifetime.
So while I, like many here, have been on a decluttering journey, and have been doing it with my mom as well, it has always been more of a yearly occurrence to keep things in check, it has been about letting go of things that we want to, WHEN we want to, not because of the dictates of what the future might hold for settling an estate, or because our children don't want the things, we shouldn't want them now either.
I feel that this focus on people assuming that what is left when someone dies is a bunch of junk and no one wants it, is an over generalization and not at all encompassing the entire population. Yes, many here have noted their children don't want their things. Perhaps they don't, or they don't now, but may want some things later on. And just because they don't want them, doesn't mean they don't have value, both monetary value, and value to others, be it charities, more distant relatives, collectors of certain things etc. If anyone has ever attended an estate sale or auction, they will see people having a great time, buying up all that 'junk' and generating a lot of revenue for the heirs.
I've said for years, that should my husband and son wish to hold an auction after my death, I want to look down and watch, because I know there will be a bunch of women having a blast, just as I have done and seen countless times before.
But until then, I refuse to be intimidated by articles like this and the idea that no one wants my stuff. Somebody will want it, if it isn't my family, it will be the hospice thrift, the Goodwill, the homeless shelter, the women's shelter, the people who attend the auction etc. I'm choosing when my stuff goes, how much of it goes, how long I enjoy and use it.
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