Not Invited - Page 9

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@Lipstickdiva wrote:
@KarenQVC wrote:
To me a wedding is a family/friend event, not a Bridezilla event. A nice wedding can be held at a church or hall for not much $---cake and punch. If I am not invited to a wedding, I do not attend other events for the wedding/baby showers, etc. Once I got blackmailed into a destination wedding and the next thing I heard was a plea from the sister of the bride to pay for her charity run. Yes, I was put onto a sucker list.
If the bride wanted to include absolutely everyone, then she'd be accused of having nothing more than a gift grab.

Exactly! If people are going to be so judgmental, then the couple really can't win, no matter what they do. And believe me, people would be complaining plenty about cake & punch if they traveled a distance to get there. Any wedding can be dissected and judged if people are so inclined.

All the more reason for every couple to have exactly the kind of wedding that they want.

CelticCrafter · ‎03-09-2010

When the time comes, I hope our daughter elopes!

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

IF the parents MUST share the day with their friends, they can invite them to their house after the wedding for an "after party." Then it is the parents' and friends' time together. That would be more appropriate if the guest list isn't a cattle call.

Parents would I would think be busy at a wedding with their children and their friends, their relatives, and meeting the ones they don't know from the new spouse's side. That's what they should be doing, not hanging out with their own friends at the wedding.

Sunshine Kate · ‎03-10-2010

I wouldn't be offended, some people don't have manners. It could be many reasons.

Many years ago, I was invited to a friend's wedding shower, but not the wedding. I was good enough to give her a shower gift, but not good enough to invite to the wedding. This is an etiquette no-no.

All people invited to a shower, should be invited to the wedding.

Some people just aren't educated enough to know.

Ms X · ‎09-13-2012

@Sunshine Kate wrote:
I wouldn't be offended, some people don't have manners. It could be many reasons.

Many years ago, I was invited to a friend's wedding shower, but not the wedding. I was good enough to give her a shower gift, but not good enough to invite to the wedding. This is an etiquette no-no.

All people invited to a shower, should be invited to the wedding.

Some people just aren't educated enough to know.

This kind of thing makes me think they do things to minimize their expenses and maximize their gifts. Maybe I'm just cynical. When my niece didn't invite us to the wedding but then had a party in the backyard months later, I think the invitations should have said "no gifts, please." Then if someone wanted to give one she could, but it is inappropriate to just have this party to which people must bring gifts. It just seems like greed and bad manners to me.

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@Ms X wrote:
@Sunshine Kate wrote:
I wouldn't be offended, some people don't have manners. It could be many reasons.

Many years ago, I was invited to a friend's wedding shower, but not the wedding. I was good enough to give her a shower gift, but not good enough to invite to the wedding. This is an etiquette no-no.

All people invited to a shower, should be invited to the wedding.

Some people just aren't educated enough to know.

This kind of thing makes me think they do things to minimize their expenses and maximize their gifts. Maybe I'm just cynical. When my niece didn't invite us to the wedding but then had a party in the backyard months later, I think the invitations should have said "no gifts, please." Then if someone wanted to give one she could, but it is inappropriate to just have this party to which people must bring gifts. It just seems like greed and bad manners to me.

@Ms X

Maybe my morning coffee hasn't kicked in yet, but why would you think you'd have to take a gift to a backyard party. I don't get it.

Ms X · ‎09-13-2012

It was a celebration of her wedding for those who weren't invited to the destination wedding, sort of an uber-low-budget reception for the rabble.

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

@Momofdogs wrote:
Should I be upset if a close friend I've known for over 30 yrs didn't invite me to her sons wedding ?

Sure, you can be upset, but don't assume why you weren't invited.

It may be money (size of the wedding and the costs associated), or just the size of wedding the couple wants (money not an issue, but number of and connection to the people invited important to them).

It could be a 'bridezilla' situation, or simply an over sight on everyone's part.

If it were me, I'd be just as glad to not be invited. It isn't the wedding of your friend, but her child, so it isn't like she has snubbed you personally. I don't care for weddings, the expense or the trouble of getting dressed up and going, so I wouldn't be offended in the least, but I do understand that many people think things like this are important, and get hurt when left out.

I definitely wouldn't bring it up. I'd just move on.

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

@Sooner wrote:
@Momofdogs wrote:
Should I be upset if a close friend I've known for over 30 yrs didn't invite me to her sons wedding ?
It isn't your friend's wedding. It is her son and his bride's wedding. I'm sure they will want to invite friends of theirs and their close family members, and it's expensive these days. I wouldn't think a thing about it or even really expect to be invited unless you were VERY close to the two getting married--friends of THEIRS.

I didn't invite my mom's friends that I wasn't close to to our wedding.

Pretty much gone are the days of a church wedding with a reception in the fellowship hall where mom and grandmas and aunts made most of the food.

Back then, weddings were fairly inexpensive relative to today's events (even the simple ones) and lent themselves to a bigger guest list.

If the bride and groom are footing much of the bill for the event, they will be choosing less of their parent's friends as well. I think the weddings where lots of friends of the parents attend are those events paid for by the parents, and more of a social event for the parents than when the bride and groom pay for the event.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

I think when you have a wedding a lot of people will be angry that you did/didn't invite them to this, that or the other event/events. They will gripe because you were cheap or because you spent too much money, and because for some reason, you thought it was about the bride and groom, etc. etc.

So do what you want, you can't make people happy no matter what 'ya do!