Re: Handling the cost of having visitors...

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

Thankfully I've never had to deal with this issue!

NO WAY would I continue to pay all the expenses for entertainment, such as Biltmore tickets.

elated · ‎06-09-2010

@house_cat wrote:
@jackthebear

I appreciate the advice, but it seems impossible to me. If a friend says they want to visit me, I can't say no. I think that would be terribly hurtful.

I don't understand why you can't be honest with your friends (if that is who they really are). They know you are retired and work part time to help with living expenses. I would just tell them I would love to see you but I need to work to pay my expenses. If they don't understand your circumstances, they are not your friend. You are not living your life to entertain people. Remember no one is more important than yourself. Friends are nice to have but they shouldn't expect for you to be running a B&B. Take care.

SeattleShopper1 · ‎07-25-2013

First, appears some people have put you in an awkward situation. I agree with others that you provide your guest with the names, telephone numbers and addresses of some near-by hotels.

If they don't like the suggestion, it tells us something. Few of us could afford financially or mentally to have someone stay in our home for ten days.

And I also suggest you try responding to their requests with the phrase "That won't work for me". You do not need to explain why. Just repeat the phrase. Wish you the very best. Thank you for all you do.

ECBG · ‎01-08-2011

@house_cat This sounds exactly like my step mother's brother.

He was a retired army colonel, wife retired RN.

They bought a travel home, traveled and lived off of everyone and never offered to take their hosts out to dinner or buy a bag of groceries. They also enjoyed a full bar.

They ended up here one Christmas. RN asked me if they could bring anything and I said a fruit bowl. She said it was too expensive. The couple's daughter and 3

children were coming too since they lived here. I just said "Your grandchildren will be SO disappointed.".

There is no easy answer my Dear.

I would call her and say you need to sub and you're very sorry your visit will need to be cut short.

Although, you have cleared your schedule, you have introduced an alternative for future visits.

DottieBlue · ‎03-11-2010

Do your out-of-town friends and relatives know that although you are now officially retired, you still accept substitute teaching gigs? If not, you must tell them. If they know, you need to remind them.

The next time they call and tell you they want to come stay with you, I suggest you remind them that you still work as a substitute teacher and that you get calls at the last minute to come into work (I'm assuming you don't get too much of an advanced notice.) And it might happen during their visit, so you may not be able to be there during their whole visit.

Only inconsiderate people wouldn't understand this. And some people are really dense and do need to be reminded that their host may have other obligations to tend to.

As far as paying for things, you shouldn't be paying for your guests unless they have paid for things for you and they consider it "reciprocal" hospitality. If you feel that you should pay, go to places that are more budget-friendly for dining, entertainment, etc.

You sound like such a nice, gracious, person and host so no wonder people want to come visit often!

[Or.....turn the guest room into a storage area....ooops! no more room for stay-over guests! ]

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@house_cat wrote:
@jackthebear

I appreciate the advice, but it seems impossible to me. If a friend says they want to visit me, I can't say no. I think that would be terribly hurtful.

@house_cat You can't be everyone's doormat. Sorry but it is certainly within one's right to say that is a bad time for me. If you come, I will be at work and you will be on your own during the day. If they are peeved, they weren't friends in the first place, just moochers.

You shouldn't be responsible for all of guests meals either. If they don't take you out, buy some meals or such, when they say they are coming in the future you say I'm sorry but that isn't a good time for us. Hope to see you sometime down the road.

Friends don't take advantage of you. And relatives who do get cut off at some point. If they are angry they are moochers.

Zhills · ‎11-15-2011

@house_cat wrote:
@on the bay

You're providing the opportunity for me to try out my new response... "I'm sorry. That won't work."

Ugh....

Fantastic!

You can always say you are babysitting and she requires your full attention. You do, and she does!

Zhills · ‎11-15-2011

I believe they are friends...just see an opportunity to enjoy a free vacation! Pretty common these days.

I know someone, a couple, and every "friend" they have has something they can "use." Boat, cabin, time-share, something!

And they do use it! It's a way of life for them!

Krimpette · ‎03-09-2010

I don't mean to hurt the feelings of the OP, but from my point of view, any "guest" who decides to stay for 10 day aren't there to see you....they're there because of where you now live. 10 days is way, way, way, way too long for a house guest, IMHO.