Re: Do I have BAD Manners?

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:
@jubilant wrote:
It probably blessed this woman greatly to help you out. I would let her know how thankful I was (as you did) and let it go. Don't take her blessing away from her. It blesses her to bless you!

How would anyone do that?

*************** I think I will let you figure that one out on your own.

goldensrbest · ‎03-10-2010

@RinaRina wrote:
@ValuSkr wrote:
I wonder why she brought shampoo, hair brushes, and scrunchies when you'd complained only about the food.
===================

Sorry! As I mentioned, I tried to keep the original post as brief as possible. I have a lot of hair which is quite long. I'd complained about how matted it had become in the hospital. I think the anesthesia and pain killers might've dried out my hair.

Anyway, I'm really starting to feel like a fool. The poor woman listened to me whine about my hair, food, etc.

You have a wonderful friend, maybe some day she will need you.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.

Linds7 · ‎04-03-2010

Please try to put this all behind you. You were very vulnerable in the hospital and needed help. She was nice and helped you. You were not being rude. I hate people doing things for me too because I am usually the one that does things for other people. You just wanted to repay her for her kindness but it was not neccessary. Send her a lovely card thanking her. Then give yourself a break and let it go. Don't beat yourself up for trying to repay her. You are a good person or you would not worry so much about this. But you are being too hard on yourself. Send the card, and when you drop it off, let all of this go with it.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@jackthebear wrote:
@gmkb wrote:
I would be grateful that someone was kind enough to provide all these things. Nagging her for an address is not showing gratitude.
That may be true, but how to send a Thank You note or card, but then is an email sufficient?

Yes it is! I don't know why so many people have trouble doing what someone else wants them to do. Just follow someone's wishes and say thank you! It's that simple.

RainyDayGal · ‎03-09-2010

I don't think it's odd not to have someone's address. I couldn't even tell you my sister's address. Of course I've been to her house, but as far as the actual address I don't know, I also don't know her P.O. Box address. There's a lot of addresses I don't know. I don't keep my address book up either.

RinaRina · ‎03-13-2010

@Noel7 wrote:
Rina, how do you know her?

You've never been to her home? Is she just a work friend?

Childhood. I've known her for 60 years.

"The less you respond to negative people, the more peaceful your life will become."

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

RinaRina wrote:
Noel7 wrote:
Rina, how do you know her?

You've never been to her home? Is she just a work friend?

Childhood. I've known her for 60 years.

Interesting! While I realize that it's none of my business, I'm sure curious as to why she doesn't want to give you her address.

Have you asked her, gotten it, and lost it numerous times? I only thought of that because I have this one person who keeps asking me when my birthday is. When I see her again she asks me again. Finally, after telling her soooooo many times my birthday, I just stopped telling her. Truly - I finally said 'I'm not going to tell you again when my birthday is because, at this point, it's just insulting so please stop asking'. If she didn't care enough to like maybe - oh, I don't know - freaking WRITE IT DOWN (!) then just drop it.

I know it might sound like I'm a jerk but it was honestly like a dozen times.

RetRN · ‎10-01-2013

It was a gift and you thanked her for it. Done. She certainly doesn't want reimbursement for a gift. You may someday be able to return the favor to her if she is ever ill. Friends aren't looking for anything other than friendship.

You sound like a good friend as does she.

RinaRina · ‎03-13-2010

@chickenbutt wrote:
@RinaRina wrote:
@Noel7 wrote:
Rina, how do you know her?

You've never been to her home? Is she just a work friend?

Childhood. I've known her for 60 years.

Interesting! While I realize that it's none of my business, I'm sure curious as to why she doesn't want to give you her address.

Have you asked her, gotten it, and lost it numerous times? I only thought of that because I have this one person who keeps asking me when my birthday is. When I see her again she asks me again. Finally, after telling her soooooo many times my birthday, I just stopped telling her. Truly - I finally said 'I'm not going to tell you again when my birthday is because, at this point, it's just insulting so please stop asking'. If she didn't care enough to like maybe - oh, I don't know - freaking WRITE IT DOWN (!) then just drop it.

I know it might sound like I'm a jerk but it was honestly like a dozen times.

A couple of reasons, which peeps have posted here.

#1- Almost EVERY YEAR, for various reasons, I've asked her for her address. She's given me her address so many times (at least 20x), she's probabaly sick of it.

#2- She probably knew the money was coming and didn't want it. That's just the way she is. Some people are like that. While I was in the hospital, my neighbor took care of my bird. When I got home, I gave her a check and she said "don't be silly" and tore it up right in front of me.

Some people are like that. Believe me, I'm very grateful to have such friends.

"The less you respond to negative people, the more peaceful your life will become."

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

Hey Rina! Ohhh, I see. Well, I feel like she is a great friend and so are you.

Sometimes there are things that will just get in a person's craw and maybe that was it for her, on top of the fact that she did not want you to pay her back for her kindness.

I hope you two can smooth things over and maybe understand each other better. I try to remember that when somebody does me a kindness they don't want anything back.

Maybe like you in some ways, I never ask anybody for anything. So I tend to be a little shy about people doing for me, or giving me anything. It's easy to fall into wanting to do for them right back. But I like what another poster said about 'maybe she will need you one day'. THEN you can do for her.

All the best!