@Mersha wrote:
@monicakm wrote:
Thank you for all of the kind words
ladies. I'm not home yet I'm hoping my doctor will release me tomorrow. I have done everything I was supposed to and am doing great although I wish I was doing as good as I will be in 6 weeks from now. My husband and I have a plan for my return as far as the dog's excitability goes. He is going to hold them back while I get seated and then hold them while they get all there excitement over with.
To all of the sad individuals that were so incredibly rude, hateful, hurtful, uninformed, and ignorant of my Hospital stay prior to surgery, I have nothing to say to you. It's not worth it. I don't remember who you were since the thread was removed so I assume I will continue to speak to you on various topics. Just know that in my opinion all of you totally crossed the line and I'm not here for that kind of treatment and disrespect. And if any of you want to continue your disrespect and rant, don't bother because I won't bother to reply.
I have had 10 days to think if I even want to remain on this forum. I'm not sure that I do. That kind of personal attack is unforgivable.
@monicakm First off, I am happy your surgery went well and you are headed home soon.
You and I really have not interacted much on the board except your recent hospital stay. Your post about waiting in the ER for a room hit home as I did the exact same thing a few days prior. I commented on how different our ER waits were.
I followed your posts after that to see how you were. For what it is worth, I did not see posters being cruel, mean or bullying in response to your posts. I think they were concerned for your well being.
You posted you were self medicating with sleeping pills and several posters wrote you should never be doing that in a hospital because it could cause all sorts of problems. I believe the nurse found them and took them away from you.
The other cause for alarm was when you posted, a day or two before surgery, you and your daughter ordered Door Dash for Japanese food. Again, that set off alarm bells, especially for several here that were retired nurses since that type of food would be filled with sodium.
I did not see bullying but posters concerned about your health.
It is up to you whether to stay here or go. I just wanted to share my perspective on what I saw happen here. As far as labeling people mean girls, bullies, etc., I truly believe the motivation was concern for you.
I wish you the very best, take care of yourself and a very speedy recovery.
@monicakm, I posted on that thread, also.
Everything I saw up to and immediately after my post was in the nature and spirit that @Mersha explains here.
Posters with experience in the medical field were coming from a place of caring and concern, perhaps alarm in some sense but in no way "rude, hateful, hurtful, uninformed, and ignorant."
I thought carefully about my post for a considerable time, and as someone who is sensitive to and saddened by negativity on these forums I can attest to not seeing or feeling any of those things.
My post on that thread supported you, a human being facing all of the complex array of emotions associated with major surgery (and, too, I said it sounded as if the protocol hadn't been communicated as it should have been to you as a new patient).
I also explained my support for the professional staff at the hospital whose time is precious and valuable and who are so very understaffed, overworked, and who face sometimes unimaginable stress each day.
My hope was to give grace to everyone on both "sides," in an emotionally-charged environment, where in truth you all are on the same "side."
I did mention the frequent off-topic threads in the Beauty sub-forum, and my ongoing concern that every time we persistently veer away from established and documented posting policies (any of the policies, by any of us) we create a trigger for review/intervention by the moderators, we add unnecessary workload, and in doing so we push this community closer to being closed permanently.
Not closed temporarily, like in 2021, but permanently.
It is something I've mentioned before, and never received by fellow posters as "bullying" or negative.
So, a request to do our best to abide by the posting guidelines, including posting threads in the appropriate sub-forum (and what's generally known to be "netiquette" on any major moderated forum) never occurred to me as a bully tactic.
The threads posted in the wrong sub-forums predictably result in being moved by the moderator or completely deleted (which is what happened to that one, so we cannot view it now).
I feel so bad for everyone when we lose conversations simply because of technical posting violations, and it only takes a minute for us to evaluate a post or thread to see if it meets/doesn't meet the guidelines.
I hope it didn't come across as bullying... it was, and is, intended as a plea to observe posting standards to help us keep this forum open so we can continue to be together.
If I sounded negative, I apologize to you and to everyone and I promise to be more aware and thoughtful moving forward.❤️
As I posted on the now-missing thread, I believe in my heart that we all do the best we can with the tools and knowledge we have at the time and when we "know better" we will "do better." (rephrased often quoted wisdom)
I'm seldom here, myself, due to complicated health issues and limitations.
Even so, selfishly I want the Community to remain open because it's been important to me for 14 years in ways I cannot begin to properly explain, and also I want it here for everyone else -- each of you -- who has found it to be important to you.
I would miss you all so very much if we lost this community.
My love to all of you who are reading and posting.❤️
Few things reveal your intellect and your generosity of spirit—the parallel powers of your heart and mind—better than how you give feedback.~Maria Popova
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