Mom to Mom

[Bubby Mommy]

I have a "friend" that I've known for years.  I, myself, love to bake and in fact, I bake all the time.  In the past I have made homemade apple pies, and I brought one over to my friend as a gift.  She and her family loved it, and I'm glad they enjoyed it.  However, now she expects me to bake pies for her all the time.  The other day, she rang my bell with her 8 year old daughter and when I opened the door she handed me a huge bag of apples and a sack of flour and sugar and says: "It's that time of year again!!!!"  Then her kid hands me a "gift" of some cutesy, but inexpensive earrings, I guess as a "thank you" for providing them with home baked apple pies.  This really annoyed me.  When I bake and I give gifts of my cooking to family and frineds, I do it because I WANT to.  I don't like being TOLD to bake.  Baking takes a lot of time and I think it is very presumptuous of this woman to expect me to be a personal baker for her.  What to do?  I can explain to her that while I am happy she enjoys my pies, I cannot be expected to make pies at her behest; I am not a bakery.  She is obviously a taker.  I have had enough.  That will probably be the end of any so-called friendship; but that's really not the worst thing.  By the way, that's not the only nonsense she has pulled.  I have also baked Italian cookies at Christmastime, and after I brought a big basket of cookies to her family I got "critiqued."  I was told they loved the cookies, but would prefer that if the next time I make them, to leave off the sprinkles(????).  A lot of nerve, and I'm being kind with that description. 

[Tori3569]

That's terrible.  I'm a baker too but just like you, I'd rather do it when I want to, not when I have to.   You already know the answer to your question.  A form, but polite No.  

[luvmybeetle]

I would say to just stop giving them to her and let her know.  BUT, you created the monster now you have to kill it.  I realize you did it out of kindness but sometimes people don't get it.  They figue if you did it once you should keep it up.  I'm so sorry this has happened to you.  If you were my friend I would buy you the ingredients anyway because you spent the money to bake so much.  I would never expect anything after that.  You are a very nice person.

[Wsmom]

If she is that good of a friend (and even if she's not) you should just laugh and say "girl, I am not your personal baker.   I'll let you know when I have extra time to bake you a pie".  As far as the cookies, easy peezy, just don't make them for her anymore.

[ECBG]

I would take her the recipe with a bag off apples and "gift her.  IMO she is very rude.  I would just stop.  She seems to be taking advantage of you!

I baked large platters of homemade cookies and made a large chocolate pound cake for a good friend (since we were 14 years old) and her mother for years.  When her bridesmaid moved back here, I have not heard from her in two years!

I am done.  Period.

[QVCkitty1]

Oh my, it's a lot of work to make an apple pie. I have to be in the mood before I decide to make one. She should try to make one  🥧

[spumoni99]

She doesn't sound she will be a loss of a good friend if you cut off ties with her thats what I would do I dont have patience for someone like that.

[manny2]

We teach people how to treat us. They can only get away with what we allow, so don't bake that pie. Call her and say if you want to come over and bake your pie (I am free give her the day and time.) I assume you don't know how to bake, and you wanted me to help you.

As for the cookies just keep baking the way you bake and stop giving them to her. If she asks why she didn't get cookies. Tell her you said you don't like sprinkles. I put sprinkles on my cookies.

[Flopsy]

Slightly off the topic but similar we had neighbors a few years ago and had a bad snow storm.  They did not have a snow ploughing so we helped out.  Did a good job while they stayed indoors.  Soon after he came over and said "you missed a bit" and asked for the snow blower.  Gave him it on loan, damaged it, learned lesson, never again.  

[Marp]

@Bubby Mommysaid:  I opened the door she handed me a huge bag of apples and a sack of flour and sugar and says: "It's that time of year again!!!!" 

I would have very graciously accepted her gift of apples, flour and sugar and baked my heart out for my family.

Eventually, when asked about the apple pies, I would express my thanks for her thoughtful gifts, tell her how much the family enjoyed the pies and end the conversation telling her she really shouldn't have gone to all that trouble but you're glad she did.