Mom to Mom

[CalminHeart]

How fast is too fast?

Some people think going over the speed limit is too fast. Others consider it to be 10 miles over the limit.

How old is your daughter? You could try visiting with her about it. 

If you make a stink, she'll want to stay with him even more.

What are the odds that a couple this age will stay together? It's pretty low.

[Group 5 minus 1]

By getting too involved you alienate your daughter. Is that what you want?

[CalminHeart]

If I was 19 and my parents tracked me, it would seriously damage our relationship.  How did you talk her into letting you track her? Bribery? Force? It's beyond wrong.

There are other options that would allow her to notify you in an emergency.

She's an adult now. All you can do is nicely influence. Your days of having any real say in her life are over.

If I were her, I'd delete 360 from my devices.

Let her grow up. 

[rms1954]

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@wifey2qt wrote:

@rms1954 - really ? 

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Yup, really, honestly, truly.

[CalminHeart]

If I was your daughter, I'd delete the app. You have absolutely ZERO business tracking her. I call it worse than helicopter parenting. 

[GoneButNotForgotten]

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@meem120 wrote:

Just tell him.  You are driving to fast .  Slow down.

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And then he's going to ask, how do you know? Either tell him the truth--that even though your daughter is an adult, you are monitoring her every move--or lie. If you decide to lie, better think of a good one you can easily remember.

[NicksmomESQ]

  I understand your concern about your daughters safety. I have an adult son & I never stop worrying about him.Whenever I know he's driving far,I always ask him to text me,when he gets to his destination & he always does.I always say drive safely, as a subtle reminder.

 However, I would never have entertained the thought of putting a tracking device on his phone or car when he was younger. I raised him talking about safety. That involved everything from alcohol,drugs,s..x & driving. Do I think he always did the right thing? No, of course not. But, you only have so much control until they turn 18. After that you have to choose your battles wisely & hope for the best.

 You violate your adult child's trust when you spy on them. I suggest you delete that app as soon as possible. If you see her boyfriend speeding say something to your daughter. If you confront her about the information you got from the app,you can expect a confrontation.She may never trust you again.

Believe me, I get it. But you aren't dealing with a child anymore. You're dealing with an adult. There are other ways you can express your concern for her, without blowing up your relationship.

[CalminHeart]

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@ECBG wrote:

I would speak to him and tell him that you love your daughter and care about him; I would also say "If you care about "Megan" please drive with the traffic and be more responsible."  How would you feel if you took someone's life?".

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That's a sure way to scare him off and damage a relationship between parent and adult child.

[reiki604]

MYOB and quit stalking your daughter. And yes, you are stalking. What you are doing is the very definition of it. There are laws against what you are doing.  She's an adult and although you will always care and worry about her, you need to step away and let her live her life.

[brandiwine]

Your daughter is an adult.  Quit tracking her!!  We parents get 18 years to help our children grow up to be responsible adults.  Yes, she will make mistakes and learn from them.  You can't control her.  It's time for you to let your chick fly from the nest.