How Would You Deal With Situation?

patticakes · ‎03-10-2010

My 19 year old daughter has a boyfriend who seems to be a nice guy and we like very much; however there's one problem and we don't know how to deal with it. He's 21 so not fully mature either, and he drives too fast. Considering that she finally relented, when started driving, to letting us put Life 360 on our phones; we don't want to aggravate her and cause a bigger issue; but, we can see when he's driving entirely too fast with her in his vehicle. How would you address the situation in a way to defuse a bad situation rather than aggravate her?

Puppy Lips · ‎05-09-2010

What is life 360? Can you see exactly how fast he is going, or does he just seem to get where ever sooner than you expected?

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead

ThinkingOutLoud · ‎05-01-2020

A few thoughts:

The fact that you are TRACKING your daughter tells me you're either a worrier, controlling or both. So this may be your issue. If my parents had tracked me, it would have damaged our relationship and would've put me on the fast track to moving out.

When broaching the subject, use the sandwich approach - we like him, love you, want to mention a concern, don't want anything to happen, love you, like him.

Approach it by asking questions: Do you feel safe with him? How do you feel about his driving? Has he ever been pulled over when you've been with him?, etc.

I'd be making sure no one is drinking.

Say a prayer whenever she's with him.

ECBG · ‎01-08-2011

I would speak to him and tell him that you love your daughter and care about him; I would also say "If you care about "Megan" please drive with the traffic and be more responsible." How would you feel if you took someone's life?".

Still Raining · ‎03-30-2014

Most states consider a 19 year old to be an adult. You could check your state law to be sure.

I don't know this app, but if you push this issue she could disable or turn her phone off.

This is a hard one! For me, I think I would make my concerns know. But the results might not be as expected.

santorini · ‎03-09-2010

I know you're concerned and I would be too but think about the other end of it. If it gets out that you track dates, I can only imagine what comments will be made among her friends/acquaintances. "Don't ever date that girl -- her mom will track your every move. Steer clear of her."

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

I'm assuming she doesn't know you put the Life 360 tracker on her phone. She's 19 so she's an adult. Does "too fast" mean that he's breaking speed limits???? The only way to address this issue with HER is to be honest. Tell her that you track her every move and you see that her boyfriend has habit of speeding. Then leave it up to her to speak to her boyfriend if it concerns her.

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

I would hope that you had taught your daughter about road safety when she was a small child. A 19 year old woman or a 21 year old adult male isn't going to listen to mama. And tracking your daughter? Mine would have disowned me and we would be estranged.

paixmcdao · ‎04-16-2022

@chrystaltree wrote:
I'm assuming she doesn't know you put the Life 360 tracker on her phone. She's 19 so she's an adult. Does "too fast" mean that he's breaking speed limits???? The only way to address this issue with HER is to be honest. Tell her that you track her every move and you see that her boyfriend has habit of speeding. Then leave it up to her to speak to her boyfriend if it concerns her.

"Considering that she finally relented, when started driving, to letting us put Life 360 on our phones;"

“Children do not start wars, and they cannot end them, but they always pay the highest price.” Catherine Russell, UNICEF Executive Director

spumoni99 · ‎02-16-2019

For me it depends on how much over the speed limit he is going. I am in CA and nobody goes the exact speed limit, is he going 5 to 10 over or is he going 25 over which is wreckless driving?