Baby shower uh oh - Page 2

Goodie2shoes · ‎04-30-2012

First of all Congrads on being a new grandma ! It's one of the best and most rewarding jobs ! I understand your concerns especially when you are cooking the food and it does seem a bit selfish. But for the sake of avoiding conflict I would just let it go and enjoy the shower and that new grand baby.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@Coastalcarolina wrote:
Thank you for all your input on the situation. I really do take into consideration other points of view. I know one size doesn't fit all, and there are other ways of seeing things.

Again, thank you for taking the time to read my long text and for your responses.

@Coastalcarolina Everything else aside, you have a choice to make. You can choose to be angry and hurt at any perceived slights or things that don't go as you should and be miserable.

You can also choose happiness and go with the flow and enjoy the birth and the child's growing up.

As to who is right, who is hurt, who is in charge, whose baby is it, let it go. And to be angry over the cousins? To me? Simply not worth it. My long life has taught me I don't make the rules, but I decide how happy I will be by the choices I make.

Mindy D · ‎05-23-2010

Maybe the mom-to-be only wants people she knows to attend. I wouldn't take this too seriously. She didn't even want her pregnancy known for months. Maybe she's shy about her pregnancy. Cut her some slack.

Citrine1 · ‎03-09-2010

You have a right to feel hurt and angry.

Group 5 minus 1 · ‎03-11-2010

I had three showers w/my first baby. Why don't you give a shower and invite whom you want?

Why did you say that thingie about the food?

And there was no one left to speak out for me....

drizzellla · ‎03-14-2010

@Coastalcarolina I can not believe you are preparing ALL THE FOOD and they cut your nieces from the small list of 6 people that you wanted to attend.

I think they expect alot from you. The food is the biggest expense for putting on a shower. People can pick their gifts and how much they want to spend. And I am sure they expect a nice big gift from you in addition to all the food. Sorry but 6 people for the entire husband's side of the family isn't asking too much. They are rude.

Guess your DIL is showing you who is running the show. And you are delegated to do the work for them.

Coastalcarolina · ‎04-02-2015

I wanted to say that I know everyone has been helpful in their comments. I will preface this by saying yes, I am old. I am old fashioned. I remember when I was a young expectant mother to be and these nice older ladies would throw showers for people.

You didn't have to have a theme. It was not all about the mother to be. It was about people coming together and showing love to someone, even if you weren't that close to them.

I was taught that you were to be grateful. People attended my events that I barely knew who they were. But these nice ladies would knit booties, or bring anything from nasal aspirators to blankets that did not have to match my babies nursery. And I said thank you to each and every one and used the gift that they spent their money on and appreciated them coming to my shower.

I also did not equate telling someone the wonderful news of an impending birth to giving someone a kitchen aid mixer for Christmas @ThinkingOutLoud .

There has been a lot of history over the last 10 years with my DIL. We were told in the beginning that most celebrations were to be with her family. We even ate alone in her kitchen while others of her family were seated at the dining table. Couldn't even swallow my food because I was trying to keep from crying.

Still put on a brave face.

So to those that say its not about me? Don't worry. Already knew that. So I was upset to be called upon to serve once again and watch the party.

I will end with this....I was also trying to do the thing that someone greater than me said.....

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

And I think excluding others because its "all about them" does not fall in that category.

Group 5 minus 1 · ‎03-11-2010

Boy,does she sound mean! Sitting in the kitchen? That is terrible.

As someone else has said,wait till the baby comes.

What does your son think of all this?

And there was no one left to speak out for me....

haddon9 · ‎03-09-2010

@sunshine45 wrote:
i am going to be a first time grandmother in july and cannot wait! the baby shower is being held mid june.

my daughter and i are planning the luncheon baby shower at a nearby restaurant along with some input from my pregnant daughter. we had a large list of people to invite.

the mother in law gave us her list, we had our list, and my daughter had her list. no one was excluded.

any ideas for a giveaway at the shower? we dont want to play the "shower games," but i would like to be able to give away a nice gift or two.

@sunshine45 My daughter didn't want any games so we just didn't have them. When guests arrived they were offered mimosas (we also had non alcoholic drinks too) and people mingled for a little while.

Then the brunch buffet was open so that took up more time. After the meal, cake with ice cream & coffee was served while DD opened gifts (which took up a lot more time).

For something else to do I made a small photo booth area using a table with a banner and a Polaroid. I had a basket with markers with mother to be advice cards and I also had a standing frame with string & clothes pins where the pictures could be placed.

I admit those photos didn't come out very well, I had a friend take pictures with the Polaroid and I took them with my phone too. I also had another friend offer to go around and take group pictures of the tables. So I have a lot of really nice photo memories!

I gave out candy for favors but I really didn't get into buying things for the shower until two weeks before since I was busy with the holidays. Most of my stuff was purchased on Amazon and a few itmes I got on Etsy. She had a woodland theme.

Between having a drink, mingling, eating, watching her open gifts and taking photos there was almost no down time and our three hours went by quickly!

I didn't give out any gifts but a scratch off or lottery type of "game" could be fun.

Coastalcarolina · ‎04-02-2015

@Group 5 minus 1 wrote:
Boy,does she sound mean! Sitting in the kitchen? That is terrible.
As someone else has said,wait till the baby comes.

What does your son think of all this?

Goes along to get along. I accepted this long ago.