OPAL Needs Set - Page 8

SportyShorty07 · ‎04-15-2014

@cheriere wrote:
@SportyShorty07 wrote:
@cheriere Thank you for your very kind words, Cheriere. I'm really glad that you and your family are armed and that he doesn't know your cell phone number- definitely make sure to keep recordings of his messages and write the date/time down and a note on each one. I don't think anything bad would happen to you, but its important to keep records of these things. I like how your Mom threatened him with a gun- good for her! I think his calling you again stirred up some emotions for you- its natural for that to confuse you or even make you miss him. The important thing to remember is that you feel better without him and you've used these past 5 years to recover from the fear and sadness that he caused. Keep up that forward momentum and if you haven't already, I recommend therapy since this was understandably highly traumatic for you and a professional can also help you work through that too if you ever feel like you want to talk to one.

I think when it comes to relationships, hindsight is 20/20- things look clearer and red flags are brighter when you have the prespective of leaving a situation. Maybe you didn't notice things about your ex while you were with him, he certainly wasn't very truthful- but ultimately you won in the end because you chose yourself and walked away from what you had because you knew that a life without him was much more rewarding than a life with him. You're no longer afraid or on edge- you're coming into your own and you're regaining and strengthening the power you always had inside of you. Walk tall, Cheriere! You weathered a storm, but you're in the sun now.

I feel so much better without him! I'm actually afraid of him now. That's a quality I could never accept in a guy. I have to feel safe and secure with someone or it just isn't ever going to work.
After all the lies, trouble, threats, and abuse, I'd never even consider wanting to even talk to him on the phone again, much less see him.
Im actually the most content I've ever been being alone these past years. I've had a chance to come into myself and I've learned so much about myself I didn't know before. This is the first time I've never been with someone since high school! I love it too! I wish I'd have taken this kind of time when I was younger so I'd know exactly what it is I want in a partner. Now, I do.😃
It has taken a lot time to get over all of this. Maybe I should talk to someone, but now, I really feel like I've put him behind me. All I can do now is just completely avoid him, which I'm thrilled to say I have NO problem doing.
I do agree that documenting these things is a good idea. After he got into all that trouble for calling, he would borrow random people's phones and call from strange numbers to try and disguise it being him.
My dad is still good friends with the DA too. Maybe he should tell him about theses new calls too whenever he sees him.
You give the best advice. I think psychology should be the field you go into. After all, it takes instincts and knowledge of the law for that too. Plus, you're very easy to talk to and give solid, empowering solutions. Thank you.😊💝🌸

@cheriere Thank you so much for your sweet words, Cheriere! It makes me happy to know that you are happy and that you are strong and really coming into your own and don't need this guy in your life. You are doing so well and I agree that taking a much needed break from dating helps you think about the past and what you want in a future man. I know that when I think of some of my exes who were shy and emotionally unavailable- I want the opposite of that in the future. I want outgoing, funny, loving guys who care about the people they know and aren't afraid to show it. I want men that share qualities that I have.

Definitely have your Dad talk to the DA about the calls and your ex's use of different phone numbers to try to disguise who he is on the caller ID. Continue with no contact and stay alert and continue to look out for yourself. I don't want you to walk around in fear everyday, so don't worry too much- but keep records of these things from here on out. Get a notebook and document these things that happen and keep physical dated audio recordings of the voice messages so that if you need to report it, you have evidence that can help to press charges in the future if the need arises. I am really glad that my advice helped .

SportyShorty07 · ‎04-15-2014

@cheriere wrote:
@Estellee wrote:
@cheriere This guy sounds dangerous and crazy too. Please don't call him back. That will open the door again to him for whatever he is planning next. Glad your parents are your biggest supporters
Thank you for your support and good advice. I sincerely appreciate it.😊💝
I was embarrassed to let sportyshorty know everything I went through with him. We'd been together since college. He used to be normal...or maybe he just good at pretending for a long time. For about the first ten years, I felt like things were okay. It was the last five when things changed. We haven't been together in over five years now. That's what's crazy!
Im so lucky to be able to have stayed here with my parents. I've even gotten to know them on a different level. I've always loved them more than anything, but now I do even more and I never thought that was possible.

Thank you for your kind words. I consider you a dear friend too and your opinion means a lot to me.💝💕🌸

@cheriere No need to be embarrassed, Cheriere! Lots of ladies talk about their lives on the QVC forums- I see posts from ladies about their health, family, relationships, pets, new homes etc. I think that your ex changed and not for the better and it must've been very unnerving to witness that. You made the right decision to leave and I am so glad that your lovely parents are helping you through these 5 years to regain a sense of peace and happiness after that betrayal. Onward and upward!

cheriere · ‎12-01-2023

@SportyShorty07

You're advice and opinions have helped me so much! And hey, haven't even been tempted to call him back!

Thats a great point about keeping a notebook and records of the calls and numbers. A couple years ago, my dad just happened to run into a guy somewhere that he knew from the past. Anyways, he mentioned to him something about me being with my ex. My dad told him I hadn't been with him in years and how much trouble he'd been. Well, after hearing that, this guy apologized and said he'd never have let him borrow his phone to call me if he knew that!

Apparently, this man would go to the bar at Applebees after work and my ex would be there and always ask him to borrow his phone claiming his was dead or in the car...some excuse. He said he needed to call me for some reason! That's when we caught on to him always calling from different numbers!

But, today he's out of sight and out of mind!😂

I love having this time to reflect on what I'm looking for. It's been key to my regaining confidence and learning who I AM, without a MAN to define me! I don't think I ever had this until now!🌸💝

SportyShorty07 · ‎04-15-2014

@cheriere Definitely have your dad tell the DA about your ex borrowing that guy's phone at Applebees to call you. Your ex is persistent and unhinged- he seems like a really sneaky guy who is smart enough to manipulate people, but not clever enough to fully think through his actions or cover his tracks. Good riddance to him! Yep- you're definitely making the right decision to remain single and enjoy life and date again and find a new guy when you're ready.

SportyShorty07 · ‎04-15-2014

@MJDinVegas You have absolutely gorgrous opal jewelry! Thank you so much for the photos- those were an absolute delight to look at and I love the substantial gold settings- beautiful pearl opal earrings too!