OPAL Needs Set - Page 7

cheriere · ‎12-01-2023

@depglass wrote:
I accidentally left an opal ring in a jar of that soapy jewelry cleaner for a good month. Obviously there was water in it and the stone was ruined. No idea what I ever did with it.

Oh no! I'm so sorry. That sounds just like something I would do myself.

Since the Ethiopian opals are different, I don't think water has any effect on them. I could be wrong. But, they have some great prices on JTV with their opal's, both Australian and Ethiopian, if you ever decide to buy another.❤️

cheriere · ‎12-01-2023

@SportyShorty07 wrote:
@cheriere My ex was too introverted to go to the bar, so he'd just drink in his room sometimes on days he didn't see me and he completely hid that habit from me - I genuinely didn't know that he had a problem with drinking! I don't drink, smoke or do drugs and so I guess I was really naive to things with him. I told him, "Why are you even drinking if you have me as a girlfriend? I make you laugh, I'm a beautiful girl, I'm fun, kind and romantic- what's there to even drink about?" I think men like your ex and mine had tough childhoods and even though they're men now, they're still trying to cope and self medicate the wounds from when they were frightened and young. Your ex and my ex could benefit from therapy.

Wow! Your ex had a 3 year old baby and he showed up unannounced at Thanksgiving? He was definitely unhinged that day. Do you have a mutual friend who can secretly find out for you who passed? Maybe that would be safer for now- definitely don't call him. That poor kid- sounds like the mom and dad can't keep their acts together- hopefully foster families have provided good care for the kid. Yes indeed, Cheriere- we will find good men! I want confident, upbeat, and stable hunks from here on out! No more handsome troubled guys! Who's with me, Cheriere!

Lol, I'm all with you on that!😃

Yes, he did have a troubled childhood, but in a way who doesn't to some extent. He was from an almost celebrity family of this town lol. His dads brothers all played professional basketball, one for the Lakers, but his dad didn't. He was the only one that remained in this town after college and had every big job given to him, but lost them due to drinking. So, he essentially lived off of his second wife. My exes mom just moved to another state when he was about 10 and left him here.

Although he could've stayed with his dad and stepmom, he mostly lived with different coaches and their families on and off until they would start to make him follow rules, then he'd split to a different family. It amazes me how he was never at a loss when it came to finding people with money to live with. Heck, he's had more material things and vacations as a kid than most ever did.

I think the death he left in the message more than likely was BS. His best friend died a couple years ago and he never called me. I'm almost post he's just looking for another shot at it lol.😃. But that's NIT gonna happen. I haven't even given thought to calling him back today. I also asked my parents just to tell him I'm not here if he is crazy enough just to roll on up.

Yes, he has a baby with another girl, who's a real winner, and then brings the little girl here, In Thanksgiving no less!

I looked this girl he had the baby with and it showed up that she'd been arrested 11 times mostly for dui and other charges just in one county. I'm not saying everyone isn't capable of making a mistake. I've made my share, but 11 dui arrests?! Plus, she was only 29 at the time I looked this up and had been married to some other guy before whom she had two other kids with that he had full custody of.😳

I guess she and my ex met at the bar or who knows where? I guess dui's can also be for drugs too. Anyways, to think this baby has these two for parents makes me feel terribly sorry for her.

Youre probably right about him being unhinged and on something that day he showed up with her too. It was almost like, here look I brought us a baby, now we can be a family!😳.
My mom remembers when he was normal, but after we'd been together about 8 years is when she noticed the change. Since then, she has always said he's crazy and dangerous! She's scared he's still obsessed with me, as she calls it!
My parents actually had to get a restraining order against him about two years AFTER we'd stopped living together. He was still harassing me like crazy. But, he began calling them relentlessly threatening them and leaving CRAZY messages. Mom bought a recording device and took it to the district attorney and he couldn't believe what all was in there. He knew my ex from school too! He said it was multiple felony charges for terroristic threatening, stalking, aggravated something etc.. so many I don't even remember. But, on the day of court, my dad said he didn't want him to go to prison, just leave us ALL alone. So, he made a deal with his lawyer to reduce the charges if he could abide by these rules. My mom was furious lol. After two years, he called their house the very day the order was up and asked to speak to me...Crazy, right!
I do have a house, but I've stayed here with them since all this happened. I'll go there every so often and check on things, but I stay here.

Im sorry I laid so much heavy, super crazy on you lol. I feel like you're so easy to talk to and you understand how I feel. I just got caught up in remembering WHY I don't EVER need to call him back! We both deserve and will find GOOD, NORMAL guys who love us. I know we will.😃💝🌸

SportyShorty07 · ‎04-15-2014

@cheriere I'm so sorry that you went through all of that with your ex! That must've been so upsetting and really frightening. It sounds like your ex was a smooth talker and a charmer- he won over families and they allowed him to stay with them and as soon as they enforced house rules, he'd pick up and leave to another home. The girl he had a baby with definitely has an extensive rap sheet- its crazy that she had 11 DUI's! Why didn't they take her car away? She's a threat to everyone on the road and she was only 29 doing all that- he probably had a kid with her because she didn't have rules or expectations- they could live life on the edge.

You're better off continuing no contact and keeping your distance- especially since he poses a threat to you and your family. Your parents are great people and you are too- its noble of your dad to ask for reduced charges and for him to leave you alone- but I think he should've ultimately gone to jail. He really threatened you and your family and I think its good that you're staying with them for now. Make sure that you and your family are armed just in case. Continue to renew and extend your restraining orders against him. The very day that the order is up he made contact- that's not a good sign. He's obsessive and could potentially be dangerous. I think your family and God will protect you, but continue to be on the look out and always look out for yourself and your family, Cheriere ! Also, call the local authorities and tell them about his recent call he made- keep that voice mail and keep it on record.

cheriere · ‎12-01-2023

@SportyShorty07 wrote:
@cheriere I'm so sorry that you went through all of that with your ex! That must've been so upsetting and really frightening. It sounds like your ex was a smooth talker and a charmer- he won over families and they allowed him to stay with them and as soon as they enforced house rules, he'd pick up and leave to another home. The girl he had a baby with definitely has an extensive rap sheet- its cray that she had 11 DUI's! Why didn;t they take her car away? She's a threat to everyone on the road and she was only 29 doing all that- he probably had a kid with her because she didn't have rules or expectations- they could live life on the edge.

You're better off continuing no contact and keeping your dsitance- especially since he poses a threat to you and your family. Your parents are great people and you are too- its noble of your dad to ask for reduced charges and for him to leave you alone- but I think he should've ultimately gone to jail. He really threatened you adn your family and I think its good that you're staying with them for now. Make sure that you and your family are armed just in case. Continue to renew and extend your restraining orders against him. The very day that the order is up he made contact- that's not a good sign. He's obsessive and could potentially be dangerous. I think your family and God will protect you, but continue to be on the look out and alwyas look out for yourself and your family, Cheriere ! Also, call the local authorities and tell them about his recent call he made- keep that voice mail and keep it on record.

Im sorry I unloaded so much info in that post...I know it was a lot. I've never told anyone about all that stuff. It even felt good as I was typing telling you. I know that sounds weird, but it's true.

You perfectly summed him up exactly! You really should do something in law enforcement because you completely got him right with just what I told you.💝

We're definitely armed here! To get him to leave once my mom actually had to show him one through the kitchen window whenever he wouldn't leave the porch. He LEFT then lol!

She was so mad at my dad for agreeing to reduce the charges. Even the DA said not to, but he was actually going to go to jail for a while. Looking back, dad wishes he hadn't been so lenient.

Thats a good idea to keep the message. I still have an old fashioned answering machine here and that's what it's on. I would NEVER give him my cellphone number. He hasn't had that in years. I'm even in my best friends phone plan. She lives in North Carolina so the name and number aren't anything he could even get. He used to work for AT&T and he would absolutely go in and try to con them into giving mine out to him. This way, that's not even possible p.

You know, I never really realized how crazy he sounds until I typed all this out and read it back. It's unreal what a person can get used to in a crazy situation. I've felt so at peace here for the past five years. I'm even a different person as far as not being so on edge and scared anymore. I actually feel normal now lol.

Its helped me so much talking with you. I REALLY do appreciate your listening to me and always giving such good advice. You have incredible instincts and put things together perfectly.💝🌸

SportyShorty07 · ‎04-15-2014

@cheriere Thank you for your very kind words, Cheriere. I'm really glad that you and your family are armed and that he doesn't know your cell phone number- definitely make sure to keep recordings of his messages and write the date/time down and a note on each one. I don't think anything bad would happen to you, but its important to keep records of these things. I like how your Mom threatened him with a gun- good for her! I think his calling you again stirred up some emotions for you- its natural for that to confuse you or even make you miss him. The important thing to remember is that you feel better without him and you've used these past 5 years to recover from the fear and sadness that he caused. Keep up that forward momentum and if you haven't already, I recommend therapy since this was understandably highly traumatic for you and a professional can also help you work through that too if you ever feel like you want to talk to one.

I think when it comes to relationships, hindsight is 20/20- things look clearer and red flags are brighter when you have the prespective of leaving a situation. Maybe you didn't notice things about your ex while you were with him, he certainly wasn't very truthful- but ultimately you won in the end because you chose yourself and walked away from what you had because you knew that a life without him was much more rewarding than a life with him. You're no longer afraid or on edge- you're coming into your own and you're regaining and strengthening the power you always had inside of you. Walk tall, Cheriere! You weathered a storm, but you're in the sun now.

cheriere · ‎12-01-2023

@SportyShorty07 wrote:
@cheriere Thank you for your very kind words, Cheriere. I'm really glad that you and your family are armed and that he doesn't know your cell phone number- definitely make sure to keep recordings of his messages and write the date/time down and a note on each one. I don't think anything bad would happen to you, but its important to keep records of these things. I like how your Mom threatened him with a gun- good for her! I think his calling you again stirred up some emotions for you- its natural for that to confuse you or even make you miss him. The important thing to remember is that you feel better without him and you've used these past 5 years to recover from the fear and sadness that he caused. Keep up that forward momentum and if you haven't already, I recommend therapy since this was understandably highly traumatic for you and a professional can also help you work through that too if you ever feel like you want to talk to one.

I think when it comes to relationships, hindsight is 20/20- things look clearer and red flags are brighter when you have the prespective of leaving a situation. Maybe you didn't notice things about your ex while you were with him, he certainly wasn't very truthful- but ultimately you won in the end because you chose yourself and walked away from what you had because you knew that a life without him was much more rewarding than a life with him. You're no longer afraid or on edge- you're coming into your own and you're regaining and strengthening the power you always had inside of you. Walk tall, Cheriere! You weathered a storm, but you're in the sun now.

I feel so much better without him! I'm actually afraid of him now. That's a quality I could never accept in a guy. I have to feel safe and secure with someone or it just isn't ever going to work.

After all the lies, trouble, threats, and abuse, I'd never even consider wanting to even talk to him on the phone again, much less see him.

Im actually the most content I've ever been being alone these past years. I've had a chance to come into myself and I've learned so much about myself I didn't know before. This is the first time I've never been with someone since high school! I love it too! I wish I'd have taken this kind of time when I was younger so I'd know exactly what it is I want in a partner. Now, I do.😃

It has taken a lot time to get over all of this. Maybe I should talk to someone, but now, I really feel like I've put him behind me. All I can do now is just completely avoid him, which I'm thrilled to say I have NO problem doing.

I do agree that documenting these things is a good idea. After he got into all that trouble for calling, he would borrow random people's phones and call from strange numbers to try and disguise it being him.
My dad is still good friends with the DA too. Maybe he should tell him about theses new calls too whenever he sees him.

You give the best advice. I think psychology should be the field you go into. After all, it takes instincts and knowledge of the law for that too. Plus, you're very easy to talk to and give solid, empowering solutions. Thank you.😊💝🌸

Estellee · ‎07-12-2011

@cheriere This guy sounds dangerous and crazy too. Please don't call him back. That will open the door again to him for whatever he is planning next. Glad your parents are your biggest supporters

cheriere · ‎12-01-2023

@Estellee wrote:
@cheriere This guy sounds dangerous and crazy too. Please don't call him back. That will open the door again to him for whatever he is planning next. Glad your parents are your biggest supporters

Thank you for your support and good advice. I sincerely appreciate it.😊💝

I was embarrassed to let sportyshorty know everything I went through with him. We'd been together since college. He used to be normal...or maybe he just good at pretending for a long time. For about the first ten years, I felt like things were okay. It was the last five when things changed. We haven't been together in over five years now. That's what's crazy!

Im so lucky to be able to have stayed here with my parents. I've even gotten to know them on a different level. I've always loved them more than anything, but now I do even more and I never thought that was possible.

Thank you for your kind words. I consider you a dear friend too and your opinion means a lot to me.💝💕🌸

Estellee · ‎07-12-2011

@cheriere wrote:
@Estellee wrote:
@cheriere This guy sounds dangerous and crazy too. Please don't call him back. That will open the door again to him for whatever he is planning next. Glad your parents are your biggest supporters
Thank you for your support and good advice. I sincerely appreciate it.😊💝
I was embarrassed to let sportyshorty know everything I went through with him. We'd been together since college. He used to be normal...or maybe he just good at pretending for a long time. For about the first ten years, I felt like things were okay. It was the last five when things changed. We haven't been together in over five years now. That's what's crazy!
Im so lucky to be able to have stayed here with my parents. I've even gotten to know them on a different level. I've always loved them more than anything, but now I do even more and I never thought that was possible.

Thank you for your kind words. I consider you a dear friend too and your opinion means a lot to me.💝💕🌸

@cheriere You know, I didn't mean to jump into your conversation with @SportyShorty07 but I couldn't help but notice and I was concerned. It's hard to cut the cord with someone that you have history with. Glad your parents are there to protect and support you.

cheriere · ‎12-01-2023

@Estellee wrote:
@cheriere wrote:
@Estellee wrote:
@cheriere This guy sounds dangerous and crazy too. Please don't call him back. That will open the door again to him for whatever he is planning next. Glad your parents are your biggest supporters
Thank you for your support and good advice. I sincerely appreciate it.😊💝
I was embarrassed to let sportyshorty know everything I went through with him. We'd been together since college. He used to be normal...or maybe he just good at pretending for a long time. For about the first ten years, I felt like things were okay. It was the last five when things changed. We haven't been together in over five years now. That's what's crazy!
Im so lucky to be able to have stayed here with my parents. I've even gotten to know them on a different level. I've always loved them more than anything, but now I do even more and I never thought that was possible.

Thank you for your kind words. I consider you a dear friend too and your opinion means a lot to me.💝💕🌸
@cheriere You know, I didn't mean to jump into your conversation with @SportyShorty07 but I couldn't help but notice and I was concerned. It's hard to cut the cord with someone that you have history with. Glad your parents are there to protect and support you.