Wellness

[Remee]

Read Elizabeth Kubler- Ross' books on Death and Dying. You need a better perspective. This wonderful lady will help you through it all for now and the rest of your life. Good Luck.

[Campion]

I'm sorry for your loss--it hurts to lose someone close.

Everyone grieves differently. Don't compare yourself to your other family members. It's a sort of dark tunnel you have to travel through.

However, if you find yourself unable to transit this tunnel with no changes whatsoever in a couple of months, a grief group can really help. There is a lot of sorting out of feelings to do and they can help you because someone will have a similar experience and it will help.

It never gets "better" --you just get able to live with it (Widowed 3 yrs, I know.)

[CalminHeart]

Please give yourself a break. It's only been a couple of months. It's ok to cry, grieve, and miss her like crazy. Find a support group too. You were clearly very close and will have all those wonderful memories to fill you up.

I don't know what you believe but I believe we are just separated by the physical body. Those who are in heaven and those on earth are still one, just in a different way. Be open to your Mom's spirit.

My uncle died in Nov. We were very close and still really affects me. I won't forget what happened about a week after. I was mulching leaves and kept smelling something. I couldn't figure out what it was. All of a sudden, I realized it my the smell of my uncle's cough drops! At that very second, the smell disappeared. I believe it was a message.

Forget about your brother laughing. People grieve in many different ways.

[natureluvr]

As all you said to you, give yourself time and don't compare yourself to others. Be kind to yourself. I lost both parents 20 years ago, six weeks apart from a car accident. What was difficult for me was that my mother died at the scene but my dad died the six weeks later I received condolences after the accident but my Father's death was barely acknowledged. It was not a 2 for 1. But I had to move on it still hurts but I understand people often don't know what to or say to you.

You never get over it but you get used to it. I realize if you never grieve than you never loved in life and that is sad. So be gentle with yourself it hasn't been that long for you. Take care.

[Ibby114]

Everybody deals with grief in their own way- it seems your connection was much stronger since you were with her everyday. It will take time, perhaps the estate stuff is a blessing since it keeps your mind occupied and focused!

A poster mentioned- 'I hope you don't feel guilty because it happened when you were away'- I gather that's part of your grief, not being there that day at that moment. Your Mom passed the way she wanted - peacefully in her sleep. I'm going through the final months with my Dad right now and that's his hope.

[ID2]

My mom died going on 11 years ago and not a day goes by that when I think of her my tears sting my eyes. I miss her all the time. My mother always told me (if you are lucky enough to have a fantastic relationship with your mom) that losing a mother is indescribable. Its something that will shake you to your core. I totally understand my mom telling me that now. OP, grief is handled differently for everyone. I think since your mom lived with you and you were her sole caregiver its going to take longer for you to feel normal again. Take care.

[adoreqvc]

Dear dotdddd,

I see you have not posted in a while, but I do hope eventually you will again.

I am so very sorry for your loss but please go to Health & Fitness and read the new delayed grief information....new thread for anyone who wishes to learn and receive support.

I posted this thread today, as this thread also offers a wealth of information, and on the new thread you can also see the original delayed grief thread started by Ravgirl, which even though comments are now closed for that thread, is still available to read in its entirety, and the directions to locate it I have also enclosed.

I felt the original thread is so valuable to many who are grieving, and offers so much insight into our own personal grief journeys. Many were helped as I certainly was, and as I hope you and others will also be helped.

interact with others who post there if you wish to or post here or wherever else you wish to post to. Many of us are still walking our own grief journeys since time does not apply. When it comes to our personal losses and grief there absolutely is no time frame.....everyone is different, and some always grieve no matter how much time has passed, and will continue to grieve.

Grieving is a very difficult process and the grief journey is bewildering, painful, lonely, and very confusing. That is a time when you need to try and not go solo, but join a grief therapy group and interact, and if it helps also participate in a grief forum or on a grief thread like the delayed grief thread here on the QVC Health & fitness BB. Medications can be dispensed by physicians if needed to help cope better during this very painful time. Also contact with your religious organization if oyu participate would ease some of your pain and offer insight and further understanding.

I was caregiver to my disabled Mother for years and married over 40+ years when my wonderful world as I knew it came to an abrupt halt the day I received the notification that informed me my beloved husband was instantly killed in a car crash, and exactly 2 weeks later my beloved mother unexpectedly died.

I never had any closure and never got the change to hold them, kiss them, ask for and receive forgiveness, and help them leave this earthly realm and enter the next heavenly plane knowing it was a temporary separation, and we would again as promised reunite when my time also came to pass on.

Now I am the sole survivor of my family and relatives, but there is hope and eventually you will see and experience hope and the need to forge ahead, just as I and many others eventually have.

I hope this information helps you as others on this thread have also helped you, but at this time you need to interact wherever you feel comfortable interacting.