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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,828
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

I have a dear friend who lives in California. I live in NY. We see each other when we can, not frequently but we email daily and call frequently. The only time we had any disagreement was when she told me her GYN said it was OK for her to take HRT...for 20 years! I was upset and worried for her but she wouldn't listen to me even after I told her that another friend developed breast cancer after years of HRT. Last year her GYN found a lump during an exam but warned her that biopsies can spread cancer cells. My friend opted not to get the lump biopsied. Now she has found another lump. Her GYN is singing a different tune, advising her to stop HRT and to see a surgeon. My friend is FINALLY looking into this. I am furious, with my friend for her denial but mostly furious with her doctor, whom my friend still thinks is God's gift to women. I decided to keep my mouth shut because my friend is finally following through but I am ready to scream! And I'm scared to death what tests will find.

Contributor
Posts: 62
Registered: ‎12-24-2010

It's easy for me to say that it won't do you any good to worry because what is going to happen will not be changed by you worrying.  If heaven forbid, your firned does end up having cancer, she is going to need you to be strong for her.  It is frustrating that she chose not to listen to you but what's done is done.  If this does turn out to be cancer, I hope you encourage her to go after the doctor, or at least look into it.  I cannot believe in this day and age with all that we know about breast cancer that any doctor would tell someone not to have a biopsy because that could spread cancer cells?  That makes no sense at all.  If there is a chance that cancer cells could be spread then obviously there is a chance that it could be cancer.  What an oxy moron thing to say.  If in fact what your friend is telling you is true about this doctor, I think she needs to be reported to have her license suspended or taken away.  Good luck to your firend and keep us posted.  I will say a prayer for her.   

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,888
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

We know how blessed we are in this life to have friends who are closer to us than family. We can tell them anything, including our concerns and they know how much we love them.

 

That said, health care and one's treatment options are one's individual choice. We must respect one another's choices. We may not like their decisions nor agree with them but as adults they are making informed choices.

 

My BFF of over 25 years has never had a mamo. I love her, respect her options. She has daughters, she has family. Still, this is her decision.

 

I often seek alternative therapies or visit with a naturopath. I have the blessings of my regular MD in doing so. My BFF thinks it's quackery.

 

Love your friend, light a candle for her, pray for her. Whatever makes you feel best, don't lecture her.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,924
Registered: ‎03-17-2010

My thoughts and prayers to your friend that she is well, and to you that you remain strong.....

 

 

*~"Never eat more than you can lift......" Miss Piggy~*
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,086
Registered: ‎03-15-2010

Just to let you know that both you and your friend are in my prayers.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,279
Registered: ‎05-15-2010

I'm sorry to hear about your friend.  Don't be too hard on her; she is dealing with enough right now.

 

I have friends who won't have a mammogram and it is their choice.   I would not get mad at them because they won't get one.

 

You can be angry at the doctor, but what good will it do?

 

Just be there for her to listen and support her.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 688
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Human nature being what it is, we very often want to hear what we want to hear and ignore other possibilies.  While it's too late now, if your dear friend was uncomfortable or not sure what the doctor advised, she should have sought another opinion immediately. We need to follow our gut feeling and if we feel something is just not right, we need to take it further.  You are a good friend but given the distance between you, there is only so much you can do.  I will keep her in prayer that all turns out OK.   docsgirl

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,828
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Worried about my friend

[ Edited ]

That one disagreement I had with my friend was years ago. After that I knew I had to keep my mouth shut. She chose to trust her doctor and ignore the research that was coming out about long term HRT use, including endometrial problems. And that was after she had had several endometrial biopsies because of cancer scares.  So now, after her doctor finally decided that 25 years of HRT was enough and sent her to a surgeon after two breast lumps in one year, my friend is finally changing direction if not doctors. I have said only that I'm glad she's following through, I'll be thinking of her and hoping all goes well. Inside I am upset but it's about her, not me. My post here is only a vent so I thank you all for your understanding.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,223
Registered: ‎06-10-2010

@Vivian Florimond wrote:

That one disagreement I had with my friend was years ago. After that I knew I had to keep my mouth shut. She chose to trust her doctor and ignore the research that was coming out about long term HRT use, including endometrial problems. And that was after she had had several endometrial biopsies because of cancer scares.  So now, after her doctor finally decided that 25 years of HRT was enough and sent her to a surgeon after two breast lumps in one year, my friend is finally changing direction if not doctors. I have said only that I'm glad she's following through, I'll be thinking of her and hoping all goes well. Inside I am upset but it's about her, not me. My post here is only a vent so I thank you all for your understanding.


It sounds like you are a good friend and did all you could.  I hope your friend will come out of this ok.  She is lucky to have you for a friend.  I rather imagine she is upset with herself at this point.  Sometimes, in todays world, it is hard to know which information to trust. I think that keeps people from doing the research sometimes.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,106
Registered: ‎06-15-2015

I hope that you still keep in touch with her and pray for her.

 

Please keep us updated about your friend.

 

preds 06-21-20
"Always be thankful andyou'll have more than you know."