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03-03-2016 12:19 PM
Use the method that was used for years to keep in touch with friends and family. Regardless of the reasons, be it distance or health dangers, a telephone is still used for actually talking by many of us older folk.
If you are more technologically inclined, try using Skype which is face to face from whatever location you might choose. If you haven't told your friend your feelings? Tell her straight out why you WILL NOT visit her in her home, and be very direct.
If you don't have your health?
hckynut(john)
03-03-2016 12:20 PM
@CherryHugs, what an awful situation for your poor friend, I can't imagine how sick she must feel from all that smoke aggravating her asthma and other issues. Very unhealthy for the both of them & I think he's a very uncaring, selfish man to subject her to that & not smoke outside. I'm afraid I'd of put my foot down to him but that's their business. Maybe you could just run by and take her something or endure a few minutes, that would mean so much to her I'm sure. You could always have a hanky or tissue on hand to politely cover your nose. I hope you get to see your friend & you are a very good friend for being so concerned.
03-03-2016 12:38 PM - edited 03-03-2016 04:34 PM
@JeanLouiseFinch wrote:Do you honestly think you're going to get lung cancer from second or third hand smoke after visiting your friend for a couple of hours?
Do you honestly think someone already effected with Pulmonary/Respiratory issues cannot/will not be further effected by being around a well proven source of Lung and respiratory pollution?
O
Spend some time at a hospital or private COPD center and see what these carcinogens can do to ones Lungs and whole respiratory system. I have been in one many times and listened to many stories, some similar to what the OP has stated in this thread?
If in doubt?
E.T.A. This is bold, what I typed above is not. This is the same size font as the main text of my post.
hckynut(john)
03-03-2016 12:41 PM
03-03-2016 01:05 PM - edited 03-03-2016 01:08 PM
just curious OP but how long have you been friends? Have you avoided her for years? I'm not sure what to make of these types of posts. You kinda slammed her husband in your post while asking posters what they would do.
What kind of answers did you think you'd get A friend smokes, her husband smokes, you can't go in their home, the friend is ill, and you ask us what we would do.
I'm not being snarky but other than taking your friend out for lunch (which you said she can't do) or sitting outside her, or your house, what else is there? Was there another reason you wanted posters input?
03-03-2016 01:05 PM
@JeanLouiseFinch wrote:
@ChynnaBlue wrote:
@JeanLouiseFinch wrote:Do you honestly think you're going to get lung cancer from second or third hand smoke after visiting your friend for a couple of hours?
Really, go see your friend. If you can't be around the smoke, wait until the weather is nice so you and your friend can sit outside.
While that's the headline, she also stated that she has asthma and allergies. For someone with asthma, smoke is a serious issue. It could cause sinus infections, bronchitis, and even send an asthmatic to the ER. And that can happen with minutes or hours of exposure. I figure that's a more serious risk than lung cancer.
@ChynnaBlue apparently you didn't read the last part of my comment.
I did. It has nothing to do with the part about her asthma being a bigger risk than lung cancer, which is why I only highlighted and commented on that part.
03-03-2016 01:13 PM - edited 03-03-2016 01:16 PM
I really appreciate your replies.
No of course Im not worried to get lung
cancer from a visit silly!
I am talking about an ongoing basis. Visits for 3 to 4 hours once a week at least !
She is a relatively new friend and it is difficult because I do want to protect my health.
My beloved Mom died of lung cancer a few years ago and she never smoked a day in her life.
About the visits on a patio well that would be fine in warm weather. But there is a whole winter each year to go thru.
Her husband really should stop smoking but he never will OR at least not smoke in the house or car but he will not change.
A relative asked him not to smoke in their home when they were there and what he said I cant repeat here!!!
What have I done up to now? Well visited in her home but decided I needed to think of my health and what
the smoke might cause!!
She has trouble walking and does not get around very well and so she is at home much of the time. Even though going out for lunch might work now and then, it would not be an option every time.
I really do appreciate the messages!!
03-03-2016 01:14 PM
Well aggravated it is certainly up to YOU to smoke in your own home
but it is not right to subject others to health issues even though you
subject your self to Lung Cancer, COPD, Emphysemia.
03-03-2016 01:26 PM
@CherryHugs wrote:I really appreciate your replies.
No of course Im not worried to get lung
cancer from a visit silly!
I am talking about an ongoing basis. Visits for 3 to 4 hours once a week at least !
She is a relatively new friend and it is difficult because I do want to protect my health.
My beloved Mom died of lung cancer a few years ago and she never smoked a day in her life.
About the visits on a patio well that would be fine in warm weather. But there is a whole winter each year to go thru.
Her husband really should stop smoking but he never will OR at least not smoke in the house or car but he will not change.
A relative asked him not to smoke in their home when they were there and what he said I cant repeat here!!!
What have I done up to now? Well visited in her home but decided I needed to think of my health and what
the smoke might cause!!
She has trouble walking and does not get around very well and so she is at home much of the time. Even though going out for lunch might work now and then, it would not be an option every time.
I really do appreciate the messages!!
well then since you now came back and explained this more it would have been helpful to do that in your OP. the only answer is the one you already know. You can't have a face to face relationship with this friend if you can't be around smoke. The other stuff about her husband is really not your business. If she puts up with it and is sick herself, then that's the way she wants it.
All you can do is talk to her on the phone, skype if you have it, visit less often and that's it. Unless her situation changes there is nothing else to do.
03-03-2016 03:00 PM
@JeanLouiseFinch wrote:Do you honestly think you're going to get lung cancer from second or third hand smoke after visiting your friend for a couple of hours?
Really, go see your friend. If you can't be around the smoke, wait until the weather is nice so you and your friend can sit outside.
The OP stated that *she* has asthma and allergies. It win't give her ling cancer but it could certainly play heck with her asthma.
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