Wellness

[Sooner]

---

@Danky wrote:

---

@Cakers3 wrote:

---

@twentysixteen wrote:

Why are people so mean to each other? Is it the internet and social media or what?

---

@twentysixteen  Did something happen to you?

If we keep focusing on all the mean people we miss out on the uplift we can get by focusing on good people.

"Mean people" is very, very subjective, imo.

---

VERY subjective @Cakers3. I never cease to be amazed at the fragility of many people. EVERYTHING is a perceived insult, mean or bullying . What happened to the strong women who were supposed to be part of the new generation and when did men become girlie-girls ? A society of " Why are you being mean to me ?" As I've told my kids and they tell theirs.....stop whining, get over it and move on !

---

Well thank you for saying that!  We teach kids that if they get their little feelings hurt somebody will fix it.  THe world doesn't work that way, so kids need to be taught to ignore it, do something about, take a look at themselves, or simply buck up and go on with life.  

You can't stop mean people, but you can change how your react to it.  

People are selfish and rude and have no manners today, and that causes a lot of this stuff.  Many can't even sit down at a table and eat a polite meal.  What a shame for those who weren't taught better and those around them.

[Sooner]

---

@YorkieonmyPillow wrote:

---

@proudlyfromNJ wrote:

---

@YorkieonmyPillow wrote:

---

@tansy wrote:

There was plenty of "unchecked" child abuse and domestic abuse back in the 50s and 60s.  At least now there are more resources for those abused who are able to seek help.

I'm done here.  The last pages of a longish thread are rarely good:/

---

Couldn't disagree more.

It's practically a daily thing now to read about a baby/child who has been abused/left in a hot car/thrown into a dumpster/put down a toilet.

Parents neglecting their children, forgetting their children/abusing their children, toddlers found wandering in the highway. It's every day, multiple times a day.

You didn't hear this sort of thing years and years ago, because people took care of their kids. Their children  weren't disposable and/or an annoyance.

---

You didn't hear it years ago because there was no internet or cable news. The only time you heard about it was when it was in your areas newspaper or local news. It was happening all over the country but only reported locally. Now every little thing that happens is reported on cable and headlines on the computer no matter where it took place.

---

Then how do you know it happened?

There was television then, and newspapers. It wasn't the stone age. If it happened but wasn't reported then how do you know it happened?

It didn't happen, certainly nowhere near the frequency today.

ETA I mean of course it happened as isolated events, but it was rare, not a daily thing like today. I'm not saying there was no child abuse in the past decades, that would be absurd. But I do think it is much more prevalent today.

---

I agree that news is far far different.  You read the local paper and heard the three major news channels in your community and that was it.  News focused mostly on local politics and civic news, not so much on sensational things like this.  The news was geared toward information about local issues such as city council, state government, world news and such.  Not on crimes that basically affect a small group of people.

I was in the news business and I can tell you from long experience, yes, this is definitely a factor.  It is a slant toward less information, more "entertainment" and stories that appeal to the shocking and the morbid.  Back in the day, that was NOT the case.  It was about news that would affect the community as a whole, things people should be informed about--political, financial, governmental, etc.   You get little background information or in depth now, you get sensational.  

[qualitygal]

Read a few more posts and realized that once people find out everyone can't win like they do for the kids in school, the real world says, there's really only one winner.  Wonder if road rage is because someone wants to be first, the winner!  

[Lali1]

Yes it is the non face to face thing that empowers people to be more hatfeful. I was talking to my daughter who's car was flooded during Harvey. Her neighbors left before the flood and she parked in one of their spots because it was higher up. Now that the water is gone and everyone is back the neighbor keeps parking behind her leaving notes on her car she can't move to move it. She left notes on theirs saying she wants it towed just as bad if they'd do and if they would move their car it could be towed. She said the tow truck has come for it many times but the neighbor will never move their car.

My son who lives with my daughter went and spoke to them and the man was as nice as could be and said just let them know. Last I heard the car still had not been towed. My daughter now has a new car. 

[LTT1]

@twentysixteen@Lali1@qualitygal@Sooner@Annabellethecat66

Reading here for answers to this question!

I have in my mind lots of probable reasons, but it appears that many have already posted these.

[Lindsays Grandma]

---

@AngelPuppy1 wrote:

I think you have a good point there.  By the mere fact that people are "hidden" so to speak, I think it emboldens some to say things which they would not normally say face to face.  In a way, I think they feel --- not responsible--- kind of like they can say whatever they feel like saying and not be held accountable.

As for other reasons, I think there has always and will always be mean people in the world.  Some, because they are a product of their environment.  They have been treated badly, they have witnessed bad things and mean acts and so they just perpetuate the cycle.  Some, are just born mean, I feel.  No matter how great the parents and family situation, they still turn out badly.

Also, I blame some of it on the way of the world.  Family values have slipped.  Focus is turning away from family, religion, work ethics, etc.  

Treat others as you want to be treated --- you can't go wrong there! 

---

No one can argue with a single word you said.  As far as I am concerned you hit the nail on the head, very insightful.

[Lindsays Grandma]

---

@spiderw wrote:

There are mean people in all phases of society.  People bully, hurt others verbally, think by being rude and obnoxious they will impress someone, are mean because of inner issues within themselves.    

Social media adds to being mean because you can do it without being face to face with the person or persons..  It is much easier for cowards and people with anger issues to go online and be mean knowing they will reach their target and not have to face that person.  Social media without a doubt gives a voice to a lot of sick people as we have witnessed I'm sure.  

As to why people are mean whether it be in person or through social media boils down to lack of manners, value systems, anger issues, no respect for anyone including themselves.  It is one thing to speak out, it is another to say it in a way you are hurting or putting others down.

---

Well said.  When I was growing up the world was far different than the one we live in today.  Children had manners, were respectful of others.  It isn't only the children of today that are thoughtless and disrespectful, many adults are too.  I agree that life today is full of stress but that doesn't excuse bad, hurtful behavior.  What is sad is that many are the product of their upbringing.  I worry about the future of my grandcildren and great grandchildren.

[Lindsays Grandma]

---

@ROMARY wrote:

The only kidn*pping that we heard about was the unfortunate Lindberg baby.  I recall my mom and dad occasionally recalling that tragedy, saying while shaking their heads: 'What a shame', etc.  We lived in a close knit neighborhood (We walked to school at very young ages, maybe five yrs old or so.  Kindergarten age, if I correctly recall.)  We would 'pick up' one another and walk to school in small groups of, say, maybe three or four. None/Most of our moms drove, mostly because there was only one car (if at all) in the family.  Nobody seemed worried at all.  Well, if they were, they sure didn't relay any fear or concern to their small children. ........ Oh, well.  Imo, things have changed.  More people, more cars=more kidn*ppings, more violence on TV, very busy and distracted people, lots of rushing around, etc., etc.  So many differences, looking back.  (Just my own recollection and experiences, of course.  All sorts of different experiences in various parts of the country.   Mine are just 'a drop in the bucket', so to speak.)

---

When my sister and I were growing up we walked 5 or 6 blocks to elementary school.  We played outside after school with our friends.  We lived in the same neighborhood for years.  Not once did anyone hear of a child being abused or murdered by their parent(s).  Not once did a child suddenly disappear from the neighborhood, considered kidnapped.  Not once did you hear of a child being approached by a stranger who had a record of child abuse..   Most families didn't have one car let alone two.  We had one car, mother didn't drive, most women back then didn't.  When Lindsay was very young I sat outside and watched her play and she was not permitted to go where I could not see her.  Parents did not have to do that when I was growing up in that other world.

ROMARY 1 you are right, it was a different time, a different world back then, and I for one believe it was a better world in many respects.  Many people today do not have that period of time to compare it with today, you and I do, we know the difference. 

[Lindsays Grandma]

---

@Annabellethecat66 wrote:

Interesting this should be posted.  I get a magazine called "WIRED".  My son-in-law gives me a prescription.  He owns a computer business and I guess he gets it for free.  It's kinda funny if you knew me because I try to understand modern technology but sometimes......well...

So, in this month's magazine it has a huge article and guess what it's called:  Trolls Across America".  It completely lays out (map and all) the states and cities where the most 'trolls live and post from".  It goes into detail the major culprits and why and on and on.  It is awesome.

For the most part is is actually a few (very few sometimes) people in one or two towns who are the worst/meanest posters.

I don't want to post much more because I don't want to get deleted here.  

The main thing I learned from the article is 'a few rotten apples spoil everything".

---

I would love to see that article...do you think if I google it, it will be found?

[HiLo]

---

@Lindsays Grandma wrote:

---

@ROMARY wrote:

The only kidn*pping that we heard about was the unfortunate Lindberg baby.  I recall my mom and dad occasionally recalling that tragedy, saying while shaking their heads: 'What a shame', etc.  We lived in a close knit neighborhood (We walked to school at very young ages, maybe five yrs old or so.  Kindergarten age, if I correctly recall.)  We would 'pick up' one another and walk to school in small groups of, say, maybe three or four. None/Most of our moms drove, mostly because there was only one car (if at all) in the family.  Nobody seemed worried at all.  Well, if they were, they sure didn't relay any fear or concern to their small children. ........ Oh, well.  Imo, things have changed.  More people, more cars=more kidn*ppings, more violence on TV, very busy and distracted people, lots of rushing around, etc., etc.  So many differences, looking back.  (Just my own recollection and experiences, of course.  All sorts of different experiences in various parts of the country.   Mine are just 'a drop in the bucket', so to speak.)

---

When my sister and I were growing up we walked 5 or 6 blocks to elementary school.  We played outside after school with our friends.  We lived in the same neighborhood for years.  Not once did anyone hear of a child being abused or murdered by their parent(s).  Not once did a child suddenly disappear from the neighborhood, considered kidnapped.  Not once did you hear of a child being approached by a stranger who had a record of child abuse..   Most families didn't have one car let alone two.  We had one car, mother didn't drive, most women back then didn't.  When Lindsay was very young I sat outside and watched her play and she was not permitted to go where I could not see her.  Parents did not have to do that when I was growing up in that other world.

ROMARY 1 you are right, it was a different time, a different world back then, and I for one believe it was a better world in many respects.  Many people today do not have that period of time to compare it with today, you and I do, we know the difference. 

---

So true.  When I was a child and even while my own children were growing up we walked to school, sometimes even coming home for lunch with only a couple of minutes to spare.  Playing outside all day, with Mothers at home, everybody knew where everyone  was most of the time; ;there was.never an incident in the large community where we lived. And when there was an occasional crime in our big city,,  it was always a headline event, most everyone got a newspaper. Oh yes, I seem to remember that at least when I was growing up; the policemen carried only a club or whatever it was called., no guns.
Of course, we naturally missed a lot of the unpleasantness that was going on around the country but in the big city, we were well informed.  In spite of all the luxuries of today, I miss those simple and safer times.