Wellness

[cherry]

Medicine has advanced a long way since I was a child, and since my children were kiddies

Lot of  people had migraines. My daughter did ,and the Dr advised tylenol. It wasn't until she became a young adult, they really started to make progress in this area

There wasn't much out there for this type of thing , and people just stayed in a darkened room, until they felt better

Migraines were just an unfortunate part of life ,like asthma, and other conditions people suffered with

Thank goodness for research , so many people have been helped

[RedTop]

When I look back on this time in my life, I don’t see or have any feeling at all that my parents were heartless or uncaring with our medical care.   No one ran to the doctor for every ache and pain, nor were they encouraged to.   

We may have lived on a farm in the boonies, but my parents did the same things for us as my aunts and uncles who lived inside city limits did for my cousins.   We all saw the same doctor and often ran into each other in that small office.  

There were no well visits, no routine blood tests.  Vaccinations were administered thru the county Health Center two days a week, such as Tuesday and Thursday.  We signed in, took a seat in the auditorium, and waited our turn just like everyone else, but we were never behind on our shots.   The first blood draw I remember was the one I had when I had my tonsils out at 19.   

[pigletsmom]

Curious to know what years this was happening. Since you went to the doctor for other stuff it doens't seem like a case of someone not caring. It's quite possible they figured there was no solution at that time. She might have even mentioned it to the doctor and was told that during a visit.

I don't think you can look at stuff through a prism of today. I suspect I have circulation issues and have for my entire life. When I was little I'd go out and play in the snow and come home with my feet freezing and oh boy was the warming up pain unreal. I don't think it occured to anyone that it probably was out of the norm though. It didn't stop me from wanting to go out to play. It's only occured to me recently that it might not be the norm.

I think you have two options here. If you had a good relationship and he was generally a good mom although demanding you just accept that she was going the best she knew how. It wasn't any intentional thing against you.

If she was really just a terrible person then that stinks but don't let that effect you. It has nothing to do with who you are. So you can be sad about it but outside of that you shouldn't dwell on it at all. You didn't cause it and there's nothing to figure out. It sounds to me like you're really trying to figure out what it was about YOU that made her this way or to do whatever. Well you did nothing, so get on and enjoy your life. That's the best thing you can do.

[chrystaltree]

Why does it matter?  I can relate, I'm in my late 50's and what you are describing was just the way life was back then.  My father had great job with BCBS coverage.  I had a brother who had a hip deformity that required multiple surgeries so my mother wasn't afraid of doctors.   But there were some things that she just didn't deem worthy of medical attention.  She either made light of things or resorted to fashioned home remedies.  I think of my weight issues as kid and teenager.  There were no obese or over weight people in her family, all of the women were tiny.  My mom was a size 10 and considered herself to be the fat sister.  It never occurred to her that she should take me to doctor when my weight began to soar.  When reached my teen years and had terrible acne, cystic acne.  All she ever did was tell me it was my fault for eating greasy food and she bought me jars of Noxezema.  It never occurred to her to take me to doctor.  I was 16 when my friend's mom encouraged me to go to the doctor by myself and the explained that I had cystic acne, which is an infection.  It's not acne per se .  I needed antibiotics, which he game for free from his samples and 30 days later, the lesions were gone but I was left with some scars.  Throughout my childhood, I had terrible episodes of tonsillitis.  I missed so much school.  My mother refused a tonsillectomy because she believed children were healthier with their tonsils.  So, I suffered.  My brother's teacher told her that my brother was having some type staring spells in class and advised her to take him to our doctor.  He actually had them at home too, episodes where he just wasn't there.  He was frozen like a statue.  My mother insisted he was just day dreaming.  Kids do that.  My brother was actually having seizures.  He found out when he was 19 and his girlfriend at the time took him to a Children's Hospital where he saw a neurologist and had eeg's.  He started medication.  My mother loves us and she was not stupid woman but back then people knew less about medical issues and people tended to look at illness as something to be ashamed of.  So, they resorted to "she'll out grow it"  "we don't have that in our family"  "she's exaggerating".   Also, my sister who has dealt with chronic depression all her adult life; showed the signs of it as far back as kindergarten.  I'm the oldest, I remember.  Granted, no one back then had a handle on mental illness in children.  But years later when we all had to attend a family meeting when my sister was hospitalized for drepression, my mother sat there and actually said that my sister had a normal childhood.  She was just "shy" as a child.  I was livid!  So I told them the truth, that my sister was much more than shy, I had to explain how she was a child.  My mother loved us but she was product of her time.  We all understood that.  You need to make peace with the past and accept it.  Move on.  They why doesn't matter.  What is most troubling about your story is WHY YOU haven't sought treatment for those headaches.  Why are you so willing to just suffer?   

[kitty60]

Wow!  I don't know how old you are but reading the posts those of us who were born in the 50's experienced a different life.  DH and I were just commenting the other day.  You didn't go to the dr.unless you were deathly ill and we nor our parents ever went for annual checkups.  I remember my grandmother having a mild heart attack at home in the early 60's and my mother who was a RN calling the dr who came to the house and sent her to bed!  Again our medicine cabinet consisted of band aids, mercurichome and aspirin.  If I was sick it was a shot of penicillin and when I couldn't stop couphing and cough syrup, including that with codeine (if mom had a talk with the pharmacist) was told to give me a shot of alcohol.  OH have times changed.  I would have been told to "suck it up" or it was "growing pains."  if I complained of anything.  I often wonder how much my grandparents may have suffered from things we are constantly being medicated for today.

[this is my nic]

@chrystaltree 

Hi Chrystaltree,

I guess I didn't make it clear enough that my headaches are much less painful, and they are infrequent.  I have been under doctors' care for decades.  So, I have sought treatment and just wish it were available to me during childhood and adolesence. 

[sidsmom]

@this is my nic 

I feel for ‘ya that not many are understanding the purpose

of your original post.  

I hope with several ideas presented, you can begin making

sense of something which has obviously been on your mind

since adolescence.  #godspeed

🌼💛

[this is my nic]

Thank you for all your comments!  Yes, it was different years ago.  People did not run to the doctor for a cold, we used Vicks!

 So, we all survived and, hopefully, made us more sensitive to the needs of others.  If any of my children had a bad headache, I'd try the normal treatment, baby aspirin and then Tylenol.  However, if they occurred with any frequency, they were taken to the pediatrician.  Unfortunately, my daughter inherited migraines.  As soon as that was apparent, she received medical attention.  

The question was raised, "why does it matter"?  It matters because I don't understand.  Of course, I wish I could ask my parents why I didn't receive medical treatment, but I can't. All my aunts and uncles are deceased too, so there is no one to ask.  

Again, thank you for your thoughts and sharing your own expetiences! 

[sashamatthews]

JMO but it sounds like when a parent prefers one child to another, denigrating any other child.  In my household, my two oldest sisters were the pretty ones, my middle sister was pretty but overweight, and I was the not-pretty overweight youngest child.  When I became a teen, I discovered Vogue magazine, and it changed my life.  I don't know why I was treated the way I was, but I am so glad I found a world outside of my home.   

[lbwshop]

I feel your pain.  As a child, I was always taken to the dr. when ill, but never got treatment for my migraines, which started with puberty.  I never had the "aura" or vomiting.  when I was 28 years old, I read a magazine article which differentiatd regular migraines from classic migraines.  I went to my doctor as soon as I could, and was given wonderful medicine which put me to sleep.  When I awoke, the headache was gone.  I am a registered nurse, but my different symptoms had me convinced that my headaches were not migraines.  The new meds sound wonderful, but I haven't had a headache since I "paused."