Wellness

[this is my nic]

@RoughDraft 

Thanks for commenting!  Yes, I have been under doctors' care for years.  One good thing about aging, the migraines have almost completely disappeared! 

Yes, my parents are deceased and you are right, there were just subjects that weren't discussed.  I recall not being allowed to disagree with my parents on anything;  it was called "talking back" even when done in a calm, respectful manner. 

I know that there are horror stories of abuse and neglect of children by the parents.  Things could have been much worse for me.   My situation would be looked on as darned wonderful by many as I wasn't beaten daily, etc. as too many children are. I just have never been able to figure out why I didn't receive much needed medical care.  

[Toppers3]

Hi @this is my nic ,

I am so very sorry that you experienced this while growing up.

I started to get migraines when I was 14, but I honestly believed that they were sinus/allergy headaches. I believe that they can affect the same nerves and the same areas of the face, so I didn't know any differently until I became older.

They finally stopped when I was 30, just as suddenly as they came on when I was 14.

My Mom was the same way about my sister and I not always receiving medical or dental care when we were growing up, especially when we were young children.

For whatever the reason, she was especially harder on my older sister, and didn't want to believe that she was ill when my sister really was ill. 

I didn't really realize until I started to get older, that my Mom had some "emotional health issues." She would do what she wanted to do for herself regarding her own health care, but not for us.

It wasn't until I was an older teenager and could take care of myself, that I started to take care of my own medical bills and care. She had no influence on me then. 

[RedTop]

In the 1960’s our medicine cabinet was a shoe box that contained alcohol, peroxide, mercurchrome, Fletchers castoria, Bayer aspirin (adult and baby), BenGay, Raleigh all purpose salve, Musterole, paregoric, pepto, and bandaids.   If we got sick and none of these remedies helped, then we “might” need to see a doctor!  

I watched my farm grandma sew up a bad gash on grandpa’s leg like it was nothing.  When she was done, we ate lunch, and he went back to farming.  

[aubnwa01]

When I was about 13 (1963), I started having periods of rapid heart rates & the 1st time it lasted for 3 days & I passed out twice in front of my mother.  My mom just dragged me from the kitchen to the living room couch & went back to peeling potatoes for dinner the 1st time & the 2nd time she just left me laying on the kitchen floor until I came to!  Never took me to a dr. to see why I'd fainted, though the periods of rapid heart beats continued thru high school & college. 

Finally, at age 26 & by that time I was working & had health insurance, I had a prolonged period of tachycardia that lasted for over 12 hours, so I drove myself to the ER.  They ran tests & admitted me, where they ran more tests over a couple of days in the hospital & I was diagnosed with a congenital heart arrythmia called Wolff-Parkinson-White Syndrome. 

I was put on various meds over a period of years that really didn't work too well & one made me very ill with lupus-like symptoms & finally at age 38 ( in 1988), I had open heart surgery to correct it (they considered radio frequency ablation, but the accessory pathway in my heart that was causing it was too close to something & they thought it might cause me to have heart attack if they tried the radio ablation)  The surgeons said most people have the surgery to correct WPW as kids & not as adults at age 38, though I wasn't even diagnosed until I was an adult.

My mom never took me to the doc as a kid either, though she went herself.  Oh well!

[RoughDraft]

To everyone...it's heartbreaking to see how many of you as children had to suffer through either ignorance or heartlessness of their parents.  Child abuse has many forms.  Only the innocent suffer.

[godi]

So sorry for all your physical and mental pain. You definitely need someone to talk to a psychiatrist is a medical doctor trained to help you medically and mentally. I’m not saying your mental just saying they will help you with your thoughts and feelings per say.  

Good luck in your journey. ((((❤️)))) 

[tarsmom]

I think the 60's were a time of "don't bother the doctor" and unless you were dying, or had something like measles, mumps or a horrible earache you didn't go to the doctor.  My mother didn't drive, so we had to take a taxi if we went to the doctor.  She worked FT nights so looking back I think it was just 'grin and bear it' with a lot of ailments.  We never missed Mass on Sundays and I never remember my parents staying home from work.  

It was a different time......

[qbetzforreal]

Don't know how old the OP is but back in the day, if you were sick with anything that wasn't life-threatening, you were just sent to bed to ride it out.  A headache was not considered serious.

[qbetzforreal]

As for the suggestion of Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy, that wouldn't apply in the OP's case because her mother didn't take the OP to the Dr.s' for the headaches.

Munchausen syndrome by proxy (MSP) is a disorder in which the caretaker of a child either makes up fake symptoms or causes real symptoms to make it appear as though the child is injured or ill. The term “by proxy” means “through a substitute.” Though MSP is primarily a mental illness, it’s also considered a form of child abuse.

[icezeus]

My brother does not suffer from them anymore but when we were younger he had terrible Migraines.  I remember him crying, vomiting, extreme sensitivity to light, the whole shebang. My mother took him to the Doctor but did not want him on a bunch of drugs as she use to say.  Instead, when he had blinding migraines, she would put him to bed make sure that the room was dark, put a fan on him, and tell me that we had to be quiet. Our mom loved us  but had been a diabetic since the age of 4 and was always very weird about us being overly medicated. I assume it was from all of the doctors that she had to see as a child. 

I am telling you this in the hopes that your mom loved you as well, she just dealt with your illness in the best way that she knew how. 

My brother is now 45 and I am 51. I give our ages just for a time reference on when this happend which would have been in the 80's.