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Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,413
Registered: ‎03-30-2010

Trying to understand lack of treatment.

Please bear with me on this, you who read and comment are taking the place of a therapist.  I really don't want to visit a counselor, but would like to have some pissible answers to my question.  

 

I had severe migraines for most of my life;  they began in childhood and still continue, but with much less pain and less frequently.  

As a young child, I remember telling my mother that things looked "funny".  I told her it looked like everyone and everything were far away.  So, my childhood migraines were both ocular as well as abdominal.  In later years my mother told my own grown children that I was the "pukiest kid she'd ever seen".  At adolescence the horribly painful headaches hit along with vomiting.  I had nothing to help with the pain other than aspirin which came right up after I took it.  The headaches were excruciating and occurred regularly, usually right before my period, but at other times as well.   They were debilitating. 

 

Unfortunately, I was never seen by a doctor for these hellish headaches.  I don't understand why I wasn't taken to the doctor.  It wasn't because of cost as I was seen by a doctor when I had childhood diseases such as measles.  Obviously, they thought I just had what was referred to as "sick headaches", but without a doctor's diagnosis how did they know it wasn't a brain tumor?  

 

I would never allow any if my children to suffer needlessly.  They were taken to the doctor when they were ill.

 

No one can tell me just why I was not medically treated.  If you have any thoughts on the topic, please share. 

 

Thanks everyone! 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,013
Registered: ‎01-02-2015

Re: Trying to understand lack of treatment.

I come from similar circumstances ... my Mother was never sick ...

she was never in the hospital except to have children and had

never had surgery ....she hated anyone being sick and was very

unsympathetic ....I had urinary tract infections and was not taken

to the Dr. .. had to ride it out ....I had 2 abscessed front teeth that

were never looked into ... despite nightly pain ....until the whole

one side of my face swelled up ....Finally .. after a while ... the

teenage years .. you just learned not to complain about feeling

sick as nothing would come of it ....

Highlighted
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,476
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Trying to understand lack of treatment.

I think sometimes those who do not experience migraines do not realize the intensity of the headache that some people suffer through.  I do not have migraines and when I take two tylenol, my headache goes away.  Your parents took you to the doctor for other ailments and I think they just did not understand the pain and side effects you were having. 

 

Not to take away from your post, but I had to have both of my knees replaced.  A friend recently shared how he was having pain in his knees from arthritis and said "I never realized how much pain you must have been in before you had your knees replaced." 

 

Sometimes people cannot understand until they walk in your shoes and experience ailments first hand.

 

Sorry you went through this and I'm sure it made you more compassionate in your dealings with others.

“I can do things you cannot, you can do things I cannot; together we can do great things.” St.Teresa of Calcutta
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,013
Registered: ‎01-02-2015

Re: Trying to understand lack of treatment.

I only had one migraine as a child ...(11 )  I had them regularly when I

was in my 30's through to menopause at 50 ....I remember when

Imitrex became available ... it was a miracle drug ....Anyone who

has not had one has no idea how bad they are .....

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,571
Registered: ‎04-23-2010

Re: Trying to understand lack of treatment.

[ Edited ]

@this is my nic wrote:

Please bear with me on this, you who read and comment are taking the place of a therapist.  I really don't want to visit a counselor, but would like to have some pissible answers to my question.  

 

I had severe migraines for most of my life;  they began in childhood and still continue, but with much less pain and less frequently.  

As a young child, I remember telling my mother that things looked "funny".  I told her it looked like everyone and everything were far away.  So, my childhood migraines were both ocular as well as abdominal.  In later years my mother told my own grown children that I was the "pukiest kid she'd ever seen".  At adolescence the horribly painful headaches hit along with vomiting.  I had nothing to help with the pain other than aspirin which came right up after I took it.  The headaches were excruciating and occurred regularly, usually right before my period, but at other times as well.   They were debilitating. 

 

Unfortunately, I was never seen by a doctor for these hellish headaches.  I don't understand why I wasn't taken to the doctor.  It wasn't because of cost as I was seen by a doctor when I had childhood diseases such as measles.  Obviously, they thought I just had what was referred to as "sick headaches", but without a doctor's diagnosis how did they know it wasn't a brain tumor?  

 

I would never allow any if my children to suffer needlessly.  They were taken to the doctor when they were ill.

 

No one can tell me just why I was not medically treated.  If you have any thoughts on the topic, please share. 

 

Thanks everyone! 


I am so sorry that you experienced so much physical and emotional pain in your life. All children should have safe and loving childhoods. Sadly, many of us did not. I hope that you can find peace within yourself, and always remember that you did nothing to deserve so much pain.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,518
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Trying to understand lack of treatment.

I suffered from migraines when I was 12. I recall the sensitivity to light and sounds and serious pain that made me sick. Until then, I hadn't seen a doctor since kindergarten to get my checkup to enter school.

 

I was getting sick at school and I think my mother was afraid of anyone from a child welfare agency getting involved. No one had health insurance and treatment was limited to Empirin compound. It's aspirin and codeine. For a 12 yr old.

 

Routine checkups were unheard of. At least for us.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,413
Registered: ‎03-30-2010

Re: Trying to understand lack of treatment.

@Big Joanie 

 

I am very sorry you had to deal with your situation.  UTIs are miserable;  I've had a few as an adult and always sought medical attention.   Very sad you didn't have that opportunity.  

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,703
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: Trying to understand lack of treatment.

You're right about no one being able to tell you why.  You'd have to ask your parents.

Thinking back when I was a kid, we didn't go to the doctor unless it was absolutely necessary.  Probably because we didn't have health insurance in those days, and we didn't have a lot of money.  Also, medical knowledge has come such a long way in the  last few decades.  But the older generation just didn't believe in doctors.  My dad was one of those.  He'd be 110 next month.  He got upset with me one time because I told him to go to the store and get some neosporin for an open wound.  He figured that pouring salt into it was enough.  He also believed that people got cancer from a bruise.  He couldn't have colon cancer because his belly wasn't bruised.  And he put up with a huge hernia for decades before he would have it fixed.  We were taught to just grin and bear it.

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,395
Registered: ‎11-25-2011

Re: Trying to understand lack of treatment.

First thing I thought:  Munchausen Syndrome

 

I have close friends who worked w/ a lady who seemed to be

continually off work to take care of her little boy.

They suspected ‘Munchausen by Proxy’.

Was he actually sick? Yes.  

But it was never answered by her if she actually went to the doctor.

And yes she could very well afford the treatment.

 

They said she identified herself through her child’s sickness.  

?

Does that make sense?

I didn’t understand it then...and it’s still a little fuzzy today.

I know Munchausens can be imaginary sickness or even the parent

causing the illness...but also not getting treatment.

 

Thoughts?

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,413
Registered: ‎03-30-2010

Re: Trying to understand lack of treatment.

Thank you all for your comments.  It's true that people who haven't experienced a particular ailment have no idea how horrible it is.  

However, I know my mother knew how much I suffered with migraines.   The day before I was to have surgery, an hysterectomy, my first surgery at age 40+, my mother told me that I had experienced pain in my life, the migraines,  so I'd be able to handle the post surgical pain.  She seemed to forget I also gave birth three times!  Fortunately, post surgery I had a Demerol drip, not just an aspirin!