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11-20-2015 03:26 PM
11-20-2015 03:30 PM
Hey, you're wonderwoman! The holiday season has plenty of people looking for someone - get out there and find someone!
11-20-2015 03:52 PM
It does indeed. I've never experienced a divorce, but friends have, and it is always painful for them. Same after a death - nothing can quite replace the person who left us. But get out of the house. Spend some time in a mall - go to church and to concerts. Just don't let yourself sit around and grieve. Get out and do your very best to enjoy the season. God bless.
11-20-2015 04:35 PM
All I can tell you is that in time, you will make NEW MEMORIES....and the others will be pushed to the back of the line. Reach out to others who are experiencing sadness too, be it divorce, sickness. Happiness and a heart of cheer can be found when you help put a smile on someone else's face...just warms the heart and soul of everyone involved. God Bless you - you'll be fine.
11-20-2015 04:56 PM
@wonderwoman01. Its very understandable to feel sad. I hope you have supportive people in your life. Please reach out when you need to talk. I wish you strength and peace.
11-20-2015 06:09 PM
What a person who has been widowed or divorced (and I know from experience) needs to do now is NOT to go looking for a man but to go looking for yourself. Join some organizations where you will do things you enjoy. Maybe you love art or swimming or jogging - whatever. Get out there and do it, make friends there and enjoy yourself. Make yourself happy.I love to take pictures so after my husband died I bought a used camera and took a night class at the community college. I made friends in that class and we would travel on day trips to go find subjects for our photography for our class.It filled my time, and helped me to focus on something other than what I had lost. I found myself and it helped my recovery from the depths of mourning. Just be you - and eventually you will meet a guy who is interested in YOU.
Also , IMO, men can tell a woman who is desparate to find a man a mile away - and they will play her and in the end - hurt her badly.I've seen it 100 times. Don't go there. You are a valuable person yourself, you don't need some loser to define you.
11-20-2015 07:45 PM
There are many losses other than divorce that result in sadness and loneliness during the holidays. My divorce was an occasion for great celebration. Other losses have made me dread the holidays and approach them with great pain.
11-20-2015 10:25 PM - edited 11-21-2015 10:29 AM
I don't think the Holiday Season brings sadness, it just deepens the sadness already there. I do not have any good memories of the Holidays! I do wish that finding someone was the answer. Maybe for some people it is! I am surrounded by "someones" but the sadness is there also! Just smile and pretend it is the Fourth of July like I do!
"Try not to get worried.
Try not to turn on to
Problems that upset you
Don't you know
Everything's alright
Yes everything's fine
And we want you to sleep well tonight
Let the world turn without you tonight
If we try
We'll get by
So forget all about us tonight
Everything's all right
Yes everything's all right yes!"
I sing this to myself!
11-21-2015 06:14 PM
I doubt there are many "elders" who have no sadness during the Holiday Seasons. Many have fewer family members now with them, myself included, thus is part of the negative side of growing older.
I can't speak to divorce because none of my siblings have been divorced. My youngest sister died of cancer at age 52, she had been married 31 years when she died.
My oldest sisters husband died of Cancer/Alzheimer's related illness after 63 years of marriage. My middle sister has been married to her husband for 59 years and counting.
We all have to find a way to deal with Holiday sadness in our own ways. For me it is seeing how fortunate I am in the present and living 1 day at a time. I hope you find the method that helps make it easier to deal with your sadness.
hckynut(john)
11-21-2015 09:59 PM
Thanks, John. Hope your Holidays are blessed for you and Cindy!
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