Struggling - Page 3

AngelPuppy1 · ‎03-13-2010

@OkeyDokey wrote:
Having gone through a recent separation and divorce, I'm struggling with having been deceived by someone I care about. My ex husband didn't treat me like a wife, but he didn't ever purposefully try to mislead me. I've been deceived by someone I foolishly allowed myself to have feelings for. Can any of you give me pointers on how to move on? My heart is really heavy and I'm tired of crying about it. Staying active at work and taking care of myself. Trying to shed some extra pounds that are just in the way and working out. Doing all the things a person is supposed to do when facing these sorts of things. I'm just freaking sick of feeling sadness over this. What do I do? Thank you all for taking the time to read this whiny post.

@OkeyDokey

My heart goes out to you! I think first of all, you seem a very open person about acknowledging your feelings and your pain and this is very important. Many people try to bury how they feel and don't allow themselves time to grieve over the loss of something and someone so important. It's a very traumatic thing to go through. But it sounds like you are doing positive things by working on yourself -- doing things to better your self image and how you feel about yourself. I don't consider your post as whiny. To the contrary. i hope you have trusted friends or a trusted friend that you can share your feelings and spend time with. I don't think there ever is an easy way to get through something like this. The important thing is to aknowledge your feelings, and know that you are perfectly normal and justified in them. And knowing that it will get easier and that you will find happiness again. My very best to you and many blessings.

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin

staciesmom · ‎04-13-2010

I can relate to what you are going through, was there many years ago when my husband left me for another woman. (we had 2 young children and had been married 15 years) The strange part was that he was extremely jealous and constantly accused me of cheating on him our whole marriage and he was the unfaithful one. I didn;t realize at the time he was doing me a huge favor as we got married young and I thought the excessive jealously meant he really loved me. Long story short, I struggled at first also, but after a few years, I met a great man who accepted my kids and pets as his own and we've been married almost 19 years. I guess what I'm saying is that there is hope out there it just takes time to find your peace. Don't rush into anything, you will see in time it is his loss and your are better off.

Auntie CC · ‎10-28-2015

Not to worry friend, when you get off 1 horse you just get on another. Nothing clears the mind of old garbage than a new romance. Seek and ye shall find. Have fun!

goldensrbest · ‎03-10-2010

Realize that they are not the type of person you want a relation ship with, your better than that,we live and learn each day we are here on earth.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.

Shogirl · ‎12-06-2010

Having been through this several times myself, I think you are doing all of the right things as far as staying busy. At some point you are going to have to let those feelings go. It takes time, sometimes alot of time, You have to get to a point where you can forgive him for what he did to you, so you can then heal. You may think it won't happen, but it will. Trust me, I know having been through three divorces.

aggravated · ‎03-12-2010

Continue doing what you are doing. Really. Hang in there. If you can, stop crying. As time goes by everything will get better. I know that sounds trite but it's true.

bonnielu · ‎03-11-2010

I don't know where you live or your age or how long you have been married. All those things might not really matter. I know two people in your same boat... relatives. Both have moved on. They keep busy with their jobs which help people. They are slowly finding friends and dating again. Bpth are in their 40's.

My advice however, is to find a group activity. Here goes my push to get you to square dance. Use Google, find one in your area... wheres the dance.... You don't have to have a partner, they will find you one. And don't worry about the clothing. Most these days are casual. YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT. IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

OkeyDokey · ‎06-04-2010

Thank you all so much for yout kind words. There are some great suggestions here. Not sure how I'm going to get through, but you folks are being so nice. Thank you!

StephaniM · ‎03-03-2016

I’m sorry for your pain. I think you are doing exactly what you should be doing, take care of yourself.

MomCat · ‎09-12-2010

Give it some time before you decide what you need to do. Just remember you are not alone in your experience. We all don't handle it the same, so you'll have to figure out what works for you, along with what time line works for you. Every week that goes by makes a huge difference. I'm someone who made it to the other side, and you will too. Good luck!