Struggling with self esteem issues during weight loss journey.

Trudey · ‎03-11-2010

I have struggled with morbid obesity most of my life. I have been on a journey to get my weight down and get healthier for a long time...losing, then gaining and starting all over again. I am within 15 pounds of my healthy weight and it has been a long and trying journey, but so worth it. However, as my weight has gone down, my self esteem and confidence has plummeted. I have always been a strong, confident person and my weight never really interfered with any aspect of my life. I knew I was fat, but I never thought I was unattractive. Now, I obsess over every flaw...my chin, my neck, how I look in my clothes...you name it and I'm critical of it. How is this possible? I should be over-joyed at what I've accomplished, but I just feel like I look older and tired. Can anyone relate?

ItsME · ‎03-10-2010

Hi @Trudey. I haven't had your struggles (i've had my own!). I just want to congratulate you on the amazing progress you've made! I'm sure you're looking great... better than ever! You just have to get used to the new you. Hold your head high and proceed with the confidence you've always had.

OkeyDokey · ‎06-04-2010

Give yourself some time to get used to your new self. Over time, your skin will continue to remodel itself. It will not ever be exactly as though you had never had any extra weight, but it will change some. If your face looks "too thin---this has happened to me in the past," that will get better too. If some things bother you a great deal, there is nothing wrong with having a consultation with a reputable plastic or cosmetic surgeon. There are a great deal of non-surgical, minimally invasive techniques to improve the appearance of areas we all struggle with. If I can ever be as successful as you have been to lose the weight, those are some options I will explore. CONGRATULATIONS to your and your new improved self!!!! Your body is so much healthier and your confidence and self esteem will catch up. Kudos to you!!!!!!!

Foolywooly11 · ‎05-08-2016

Is it possible that now that you're so close to your healthy weight that you feel more sef-conscious, thinking thinking that you will be more "noticeable", & therefore every flaw that you had before will be more noticeable, too? Perhaps the weight provided you a type of "security"; you didn't have to worry about those other flaws because you felt that your weight took center stage? Maybe the new or different attention you're receiving is making you anxious? Just a thought....

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

It was the opposite for me. I once weighed over 350lbs and had wls and lost half my weight. I had no self esteem when I was a size 28 and as I lost weight, my self esteem rose with every pound I loss. They says there's a type of euphoria after you lose a lot of weight but I did not experience that. I just felt stronger and braver and in control of my life. Gradually over 20 years, I regained 70lbs and I've lost 55 of that. I want to lose 20 more and while my self esteem did not tank, it did dip a little. But I got it back now.

Trudey · ‎03-11-2010

Thanks for all the responses. I definitely think I'm struggling with this being my new normal. I also think I'm feeling a lot of anxiety about keeping the weight off. I am hopeful that, with time, I will get used to the new me and stop being so critical of myself.

wishmoon · ‎08-14-2013

@Trudey Cut yourself some slack, girl! Congrats! You did what most only hope to do.

Trudey · ‎03-11-2010

@chrystaltree wrote:
It was the opposite for me. I once weighed over 350lbs and had wls and lost half my weight. I had no self esteem when I was a size 28 and as I lost weight, my self esteem rose with every pound I loss. They says there's a type of euphoria after you lose a lot of weight but I did not experience that. I just felt stronger and braver and in control of my life. Gradually over 20 years, I regained 70lbs and I've lost 55 of that. I want to lose 20 more and while my self esteem did not tank, it did dip a little. But I got it back now.

@chrystaltree Congratulations on your weight loss. No matter what methods we choose to assist with the weight loss, it's still a life-long journey. I have several friends who had WLS and gained all the weight back. I think it's great that you regained control and lost those extra pounds. Weight Watchers is what works for me. I lovingly refer to it as "AA for fat people"...LOL.

Snowpuppy · ‎03-09-2010

I've dropped a LOT of weight and once chatted with another poster here about significant weight loss.

We both agreed that nothing changed for us. Prince Charming didn't show up, we didn't get a 6 figure salary nor a corner office and people weren't "nicer" to us. In a nutshell, all the kwap in womens magazines was hogwash.

We also said most of our friends dumped us. Angry with us for changing our lives.

How dare we not know our role?!

KathyM23 · ‎11-20-2010

@Trudey

One way to get back your self esteem is to realize that you have been strong enough to accomplish what so many others try to do and cannot carry through. Give yourself great big pats on the back for being such a strong person. It just takes time to adjust to your new look When you look in the mirror, you see someone you are not familiar with. I assure you, you look great in your clothes and soon you will become your normal confident self. To lose a lot of weight takes time and you say you look older, well you are older than you were when you first started your weight loss journey. If you had not lost this weight, you would still look older today than you did at your heaviest. What you see as looking older is not the weight loss, but time. You look great - congratulate yourself and be happy. Think of how much better you feel in your clothes. I know I am about 20 pounds overweight and I can't wait to get home and out of my clothes to get comfortable!

You are a very strong person, not many can do what you did. Also you have just added years to having a healthy life and beat many of the health issues being overweight eventually causes. My congratulations to you.