Question about dementia ....

sarahpanda · ‎03-11-2010

The DH of a friend of mine has dementia....early to mid stages. Over the last few weeks he seems to be in need to be 'right up under her', at the kithen table, in the kitchen, turning his chair around in the living room so as to be able to keep an eye on her. etc. Once, she told me that she was in the bathroom and he was at the door saying ''Are you in there?" If she steps right, he steps right, if she steps left, he steps left..etc.. Has any one else experienced this phase?

Klimt · ‎09-27-2025

@sarahpanda wrote:
The DH of a friend of mine has dementia....early to mid stages. Over the last few weeks he seems to be in need to be 'right up under her', at the kithen table, in the kitchen, turning his chair around in the living room so as to be able to keep an eye on her. etc. Once, she told me that she was in the bathroom and he was at the door saying ''Are you in there?" If she steps right, he steps right, if she steps left, he steps left..etc.. Has any one else experienced this phase?

Hopefully, your friend stays in contact with his physician.

shoesnbags · ‎03-10-2010

@sarahpanda wrote:
The DH of a friend of mine has dementia....early to mid stages. Over the last few weeks he seems to be in need to be 'right up under her', at the kithen table, in the kitchen, turning his chair around in the living room so as to be able to keep an eye on her. etc. Once, she told me that she was in the bathroom and he was at the door saying ''Are you in there?" If she steps right, he steps right, if she steps left, he steps left..etc.. Has any one else experienced this phase?

@sarahpanda

This is a pretty common thing with dementia patients. It's called "shadowing" I believe. It gives them a sense of security to be near their caregiver/loved one.

"Breathe in, breathe out, move on." Jimmy Buffett

haddon9 · ‎03-09-2010

I'm so sorry for your friend and her DH. It sounds like he is confused and maybe a bit afraid. I know I would be!

My own DH has a disability and was diagnosed with a severe autoimmune illness back in 2012. In the beginning as he quickly went downhill (he resembled a stroke victim) he was very afraid!

We found an integrative doctor that worked with us and he allowed patients to call him at 7-7:30 am Mon-Fri to chat. That was a huge help to alleviate some of DH's fears. He has now stabilized and can putter around the house by himself, etc.

manny2 · ‎05-24-2010

@shoesnbags wrote:
@sarahpanda wrote:
The DH of a friend of mine has dementia....early to mid stages. Over the last few weeks he seems to be in need to be 'right up under her', at the kithen table, in the kitchen, turning his chair around in the living room so as to be able to keep an eye on her. etc. Once, she told me that she was in the bathroom and he was at the door saying ''Are you in there?" If she steps right, he steps right, if she steps left, he steps left..etc.. Has any one else experienced this phase?
@sarahpanda
This is a pretty common thing with dementia patients. It's called "shadowing" I believe. It gives them a sense of security to be near their caregiver/loved one.

Yes, this is correct. It often appears in the middle stages of dementia, when the person becomes anxious, confused, and clings to their caregiver for reassurance.

cindyNC · ‎08-01-2019

I'm so sorry your friend is going through this.

rms1954 · ‎06-06-2019

My Dad suffered from dementia. But he was always in bed due to other health problems so it's not something our family went through; the constant shadowing. It's a very, very sad thing. I can imagine it would be very frightening. He kept saying to me "I know you, you look very familiar." I cried that first time he said it. I was very close to him and we had a special bond. It's difficult for all.

Jo1313 · ‎02-02-2021

@shoesnbags wrote:
@sarahpanda wrote:
The DH of a friend of mine has dementia....early to mid stages. Over the last few weeks he seems to be in need to be 'right up under her', at the kithen table, in the kitchen, turning his chair around in the living room so as to be able to keep an eye on her. etc. Once, she told me that she was in the bathroom and he was at the door saying ''Are you in there?" If she steps right, he steps right, if she steps left, he steps left..etc.. Has any one else experienced this phase?
@sarahpanda
This is a pretty common thing with dementia patients. It's called "shadowing" I believe. It gives them a sense of security to be near their caregiver/loved one.

I'm going through this with DH...He follows me around the house.

Some Dr.s don't believe me when I tell them on rainy dreary days it's worse..Told 1 Dr. to come and live with me for a couple of weeks! He kind of sleep walks..I hide all shoes and keys..We also have "invisivble" people here.

Some of the things sound funny to some..but it's a scary thing when you are in the middle of it...He hides things like the tv remotes so no one will steal them..It's only the 2 of us.

When I fell in the house a while ago.I called an ambulance...He didn't want to let them in. One distracted him and the other 2 EMT's slipped around him.

Roscoe the Rascal · ‎04-19-2016

My brother hard Parkinson's and dementia. He passed this year. Very sad to be in these situations. I am so sorry for your struggles.

I remember when he first started out he would call me and said people were there and would I get them out. Asked me to talk to them so I did and then he said they are gone and what did you say. He use to ask me things like that wasn't real was it. I would say no it wasn't. He would say I didn't think so.

He first started in assisted living and eventually short time later was moved to memory care. I went to see him often. He always knew me but could not really carry on a conversation towards the end. I'm sure miss him. Not easy to see a loved one in that situation.

SilleeMee · ‎05-22-2016

A very close friend of mine has signs of early dementia. He has missed several important events lately. He blocked my phone number from his cell b/c he said he didn't recognize it. He's known my number for over ten years. He doesn't remember seeing me last week when he helped fix something in my house. I don't know what to say. I'm confused and I want to help but I don't feel I'm in the right position to say anything to him anyways.