Question about attending Spouse's medical consult

SeaMaiden · ‎03-10-2010

Sorry if this is too long....

My husband is having a consultation next week after his cat scan with a vascular specialist concerning a abdominal Aortic Aneurysum and I would like to attend this consultation with DH so I know what exactly will be involved etc. I feel this is a good idea so that we have two ears listening to what the specialist says...( one set of ears NOT THE PATIENT). ... and I will have some questions to ask that DH will most likely not ask( just the way he is).

Do you think this is asking too much? I will be his care giver 100% if he had the surgery which is major surgery.... and we have no children or family to help out. I feel it is important that I hear what the doctor says as well so I really know what is involved... what to expect...

When I asked my Husband this morning if it was OK for me to sit in on the consultation with the vascular specialist... he was not to much into the idea... I asked him why and he did not have an answer. I am sure he really did.... probably wanted to say that I am not his Mother or the like.....

We have been married for 40 years... I am not asking to sit in on a physical exam or anything.. just on the Doctor's final decision of what needs to be done and over view of the health situation and his explanation of what he will do or wants to do at this time.

Am I asking too much? Is this wrong to do? First major medical issue that we have had come up in our marriage.

I value your opinions, especially those of you who have gone through such an issue medically with your significant other. Maybe I am totally wrong in wanting to listen to what the Doctor says?

Thanks so much.

cerb · ‎03-09-2010

I think that you should go, for the reasons you stated.

I am still oxox · ‎03-09-2010

Of course you should go I was at every appointment with DH when he was dealing with his health issues

Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start being positive what could go right.

geezerette · ‎03-16-2010

My husband would insist that I be in the room to hear what the doctor said, and to give my input. I would do the same if I were the patient.

Bri36 · ‎02-20-2017

I always think it's a good idea to have another person sit in on these types of appointments. Always.

Justice4all · ‎12-22-2013

My aunt had this operation and it was a total success. Here's what I think. Your husband needs to know what questions he has, perhaps writing them down. I think it makes sense for you to accompany him as you need to know what is going on. These consultations may be short, so don't interrupt your husband's thoughts as he will be scared and your talking may make the questions fly out of his head. Listen carefully. Another set of ears is really a good thing.

Dusty1 · ‎03-10-2010

I would want to be there & I would take my notebook.

I have found that when dealing with doctors we tend to sort of go..ok, ok, ok..& then we don't really remember all of the details.

It's up to your husband, of course, but I would talk to him & be there if I could.

shaggygirl · ‎11-24-2011

Absolutely positively without question YES.

akaburtonfan · ‎12-08-2013

Yes go! It's important that you go and hear what's going to happen and what to expect. Your husband might think he's ok on his own but it's always good to have two people listening and asking questions. I would even suggest taking notes. How many times do we walk out of an appointment and think now what did the doctor say about something.

If your husband doesn't like the idea of you going with, ask him if he'd like to deal with his post-op without you also.

vermint · ‎04-05-2010

Of course you should be there! And take notes, as we all know that two people will hear the exact same thing differently. My DH and I have been to several consults together, and it's very helpful.