Reply
Highlighted
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,283
Registered: ‎03-15-2010

Just venting..................

My mother is a widow in her mid 70's.

 

She now calls or goes to the doctor/specialist for EVERYTHING.  She has no hesitation in calling the on-call doctor night, weekends, holidays over minor aches or pains.

I think the doctors think this must be an urgent emergency based on the 2 am call and go into over-drive.

 

Most recent- she ate something that upset her stomach and she had some loose stools.  She called the on-call GI doctor middle of the night on the weekend.  Who then ordered a battery of tests, studies, and scopes.  She of course got better on her own and all the results came back negative, and the colonoscopy was fine.

But they put her on a medication for IBS.

 

I held my breathe as my mother has a HUGE history of terrible, even life-threatening reactions to prescription meds.   She is the 3 people in 1 million who will react to any given drug.

 

I asked her to please try a few days of Pepto to see if that helps as she was 95% better.

She of course starts the drug and today I get a call this morning from the neighbor (her friend) that my mom is in the ER because she is having blood pressure problems, light-headed and dizzy.  

 

They told her to stop the prescription immediately and try Pepto or Immodium.

I could have banged my head on the wall.  I do not know what to do anymore.

 

Vent over.  Thank you. 

 

Highlighted
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,257
Registered: ‎05-12-2012

Re: My mother and meds -Vent

[ Edited ]

you're in a difficult situation....especially if she has reactions to many drugs....has this always been her behavior....or is it an aging issue...maybe she shouldn't be living by herself.....thoughts are with you....

Highlighted
Honored Contributor
Posts: 43,287
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: My mother and meds -Vent

It sound as though your mom has a serious need for attention and get a kick out if seeing these specialists snap to attention when she calls.

 

I don't know what you can do except clue in her PCP as to what's going on.  Perhaps he/she can drop a hint to her favorite specialists.  Maybe you should read her the story of the Boy Who Cried Wolf.  She calls so often, if she became seriously ill, she could get no attention.

 

Could it be male attention she enjoys?

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment
Highlighted
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,661
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: My mother and meds -Vent

People think all meds will save your life or make you well. Much of the time they will make you worse ore even kill you.  You are really stuck between a wall and a hard place. Feel so bad for you and  sorry you have to watch this  Maybe you should talk to her Doctors without her being present.  It seems like she has serious issues.

Highlighted
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,131
Registered: ‎08-16-2016

Re: My mother and meds -Vent

Venting heard! This must be super frustrating for you.

 

Doctors are usually pretty good about recognizing this behavior pattern--but they're also trained not to take any chances that could land them in a lawsuit, so I don't blame them.

 

And @mememe, there is nothing much you can do. If she asks you for an opinion about what to do, you can give it. Otherwise, you know, you can't change anyone else or control anyone else, not even your mother--maybe especially not your mother. Nor is it your job to figure any of it out.

 

I think you may just have to take a deep breath (or ten) distance yourself from as much of the drama as you can, and stay clearheaded for when you are actually needed. I wish you well!

Highlighted
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,615
Registered: ‎07-03-2014

Re: My mother and meds -Vent

this is just a thought ok? is she living alone? she may be lonely and craving social interaction and that's one way of getting it. just a big maybe. 

Highlighted
Honored Contributor
Posts: 22,625
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: My mother and meds -Vent

[ Edited ]

You are driving yourself crazy for no reason at all  You mother is not your child or anyone's child.  She's a  grown woman who has access to good medical care so let her doctors deal with her.  There's nothing you can do about this anyway.  For what it's worth, your mother is by no means unique or a  bother to her physician.  This is how some patients behave.  I have a  dear friend who is a PCP and she says she'd rather have a patient who seeks medical attention for small things that don't require a physician than a patient who never seeks medical care for anything.  I think the same applies to you.  You don't want to harp on this thing and run the risk of her not confiding in you if something serious happens.   

Highlighted
Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,690
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: My mother and meds -Vent

[ Edited ]

Boy do I disagree with the poster before me. The last thing your mom needs is a bad reaction to a drug, or an interaction with another. All you can encourage her to do is take the simpler approach (although she probably won't heed your advice). Is this a cry for attention?

Highlighted
Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,283
Registered: ‎09-01-2010

Re: My mother and meds -Vent

My only experience with this type of situation was with my grandmother. 

Her doctor was a very kind, gentle man who specialized in geriatrics and made all of his patients feel special.   My grandmother thought he hung the moon, and over exaggerated every ache and pain in order to get another appt with him.   

All of those complaints and appts added up to unnecessary tests and prescriptions, and my mom finally realized her mother was just seeking attention.   Mom called the office and talked with the doctor.  

 

At the next visit, the doctor was very straightforward with my grandmother and kindly explained that it was natural for her to have the aches and pains at such an advanced age, and while he could keep prescribing meds if that was what she really wanted him to do, she needed to understand none of those meds were going to fix her.   The aches and pains might lessen, but would still be there and there would eventually be complications from the new medications to deal with.  

 

His little talk helped get things back to normal.   

Highlighted
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,077
Registered: ‎06-13-2010

Re: My mother and meds -Vent

[ Edited ]

Bless her heart! Our aging parents can sometimes pose a unique set of challenges, to be sure. Some of them become obsessed with their health simply because they are scared, and need some kind of reassurance. It can be frustrating, because we love them so much, and it is not always easy to understand their behaviors. Sometimes, it requires more patience than we can muster.😊 

 

It's plausible her doctor felt it was medically necessary at the time, despite the test results, and just wanted to see if it would help "prevent" some of the issues she was experiencing. I am so sorry she had a potential reaction to the medication; if it turns out that is what caused her present symptoms.

 

 Hopefully there is nothing seriously wrong this time, and things work out for her.🤞🙏 I know it's hard to have compassion right now, because you are understandably anxious❤,  but sometimes that is all we can do, and it might be just what the doctor ordered.😊

 

I always feel better after a good vent, and am glad you were able to have one too!.🤗.

 

~~~All we need is LOVE💖