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Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,052
Registered: ‎06-10-2010

Re: My husband and in laws in denial about Alzheimer's

My dad's long time family doctor wanted him to see a psychiatrist long before we finally got help. He refused to go and mom wasn't pushing it either.....BUT.... they did agree to bring in a neuro psychologist...(I think that's what she called herself) I guess that name sounded better to them...than psychiatrist . We had him tested and he did show dementia. Maybe you could work it out to have her seen by someone who has a title that might be foreign to them. It was very frustrating at the time so I empathize with you.

Contributor
Posts: 63
Registered: ‎07-17-2010

Re: My husband and in laws in denial about Alzheimer's

From OP...

I am a Physician's Assistant in Vascular surgery.....yes we have worked with hundreds of dialysis patients also... I guess yesterday was a rough day for me and I took my frustration out on my husband. Thanks for your kind listening.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 3,697
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: My husband and in laws in denial about Alzheimer's

On 11/7/2014 LoveSG said:

From OP...

I am a Physician's Assistant in Vascular surgery.....yes we have worked with hundreds of dialysis patients also... I guess yesterday was a rough day for me and I took my frustration out on my husband. Thanks for your kind listening.

It's a very difficult and frustrating situation for everyone.

It's always a victory for me when I remember why I entered a room.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,752
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: My husband and in laws in denial about Alzheimer's

On 11/7/2014 LoveSG said:

From OP...

I am a Physician's Assistant in Vascular surgery.....yes we have worked with hundreds of dialysis patients also... I guess yesterday was a rough day for me and I took my frustration out on my husband. Thanks for your kind listening.

Hang in there. I know it's hard when you really know what's going on, but it's better left unsaid. (((((((LoveSG))))))))

It's God's job to judge the terrorists. It's our mission to arrange the meeting. U.S. Marines
Super Contributor
Posts: 677
Registered: ‎07-04-2011

Re: My husband and in laws in denial about Alzheimer's

On 11/6/2014 only shops online said:
On 11/6/2014 champagnepoodle said:

Actually you do not die from Alzheimers. Just so you know.

Yes, you do die from Alzheimers. It's just not a disease that causes loss of memory. It is a brain disease. As the brain becomes more diseased, it loses the ability to control bodily functions and to maintain organ function. The organs, including the heart and lungs, will eventually cease to function. The patient dies.

Thank you for pointing that out so kindly.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 26,160
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: My husband and in laws in denial about Alzheimer's

Watching a parent get sick and knowing their time is coming to end is hard, especially for people who don't have a good understanding of the medical challenges. So, yes, some familiy members go into a state of denial. It's understandable and you can't just talk them out of it. Just be supportive, patient and loving. As a healthcare professional, you must know that. You say she has Alzheimers, was she actually diagnosed with it? I ask because it isn't at all unusual for dialysis patients to exhibit the symptoms you describe. Extreme irritability, anxiety, irrational behavior, depression. What did her nephrologist say about her behavorial symptoms?

Super Contributor
Posts: 4,044
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: My husband and in laws in denial about Alzheimer's

LoveSG you are a PA so there is nothing I can tell you about Alzheimers, you are a professional and know about this terrible disease and it is terrible. It robs patients and families of so much. Unfortunately this has happened to several people in my own family and as you know, both personally and professionally, there are a lot of people who are in denial about a lot of things. People would rather believe what they want to believe, than face the truth about a loved one's condition. It's just SO painful.

And yes as someone else pointed out people do die from Alzheimers. One person in my extended family died from it. I have two family members with it currently both of which are bed ridden. And I can't tell you how many family friends and parents of good friends I have, that are dealing with it too. It is just terrible and something I would never wish on any family to deal with. One of my friends, when her mother was diagnosed with it, called me and asked me some questions and there was nothing I could tell her that was positive-- just support her--- except to look for a support group in her city and go to meetings so she could sit with others and talk about her experiences. It does help. There is just no comfort for watching a loved one suffer with this disease, nothing anyone can say to ease the sorrow of seeing someone robbed of their personality and who they are. I could go on about this but I won't. I am so sorry about your mother in law and I know in time your husband and other family members will come to accept the situation with the dialysis and when the time comes as someone else said, the doctor will speak to the family about her condition and the issue of continuing the treatments. This is a process and you just have to allow your husband and his family to come to accept what is happening in their own way. Sending hugs to you.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,997
Registered: ‎03-25-2012

Re: My husband and in laws in denial about Alzheimer's

The difference between Alzheimers and dementia is that Alzheimers is a disease that one can get at a very young age (the 40s actress Rita Hayworth is an example . . . she was only in her 50s when she got it). Dementia, on the other hand, is the aging of the brain and rarely seen before the seventh decade.

My beloved sister's *ex-husband (also now deceased) had two sisters who came down with Alzheimers in their 50s and had it for years. They are both gone now. My father, on the other hand, was 83 when he died and yes, he did have a form of dementia. It is horrible to see, no matter which one it is, but the causes are very different.

I would rather die of Eb*ola than either of those brain issues. It is too tragic to see loved ones and not know who they are.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986
Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,951
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: My husband and in laws in denial about Alzheimer's

Dear OP- you are absolutely not to blame for any reactions you may have had. Anyone who is going or has gone through caring for a loved one with any knd of dementia will need to forgive themselves many times over during the course of the condition. I often described my wonderful mother's situation as ""making the best choice out of the terrible choices"" and they're ALL ""terrible choices"".
Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,153
Registered: ‎05-22-2012

Re: My husband and in laws in denial about Alzheimer's

Has she been diagnosed with Alzheimer's? People who face a diagnosis still suffer from denial, but it's harder to argue with when several doctors say the same thing. It's too easy to argue with a family member or friend, even if she is a healthcare professional.

If she hasn't been tested for or diagnosed with Alzheimer's I'd make sure she gets tested so that you will have an outside telling the family what you already suspect. Sometimes that's what it takes to get people to move forward.