My daughter is sick

shy bobcat · ‎04-24-2010

My DD is sick with an incurable disease. I am so sad. I want to do what is best for her. I don't know if I should force a brave face and intellectual conversation when my heart is breaking. I do not want to add to her worry if I were to let my feelings show. I would be a sobbing mess. I would appreciate your wise advice.

icezeus · ‎10-30-2010

@shy bobcat

I was not going to respond to this thread because I do not have any children. However your sadness spoke to me and I had to reply. Although, I do not have kids I am a human being and I have feelings and loved ones. It's been many years since I last lost someone close to me. Both losses were without warning and devastating. I wish I had an opportunity to say more especially to one of my lost loved ones. My advice would be do no squander this opportunity, leave nothing unsaid and if from time to time you have a breakdown it's expected but it's your true feelings.

I feel so sorry for what you are going through and will offer up a prayer for "shy bobcat".

Pooky1 · ‎12-23-2015

i personally would try to be positive with her and when your away then let it out. sending thoughts and prayers to her and all of you guys.

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

I am so sorry.

I don't know how old your daughter is but that would have a lot to do with what's appropriate. And I'm also not sure if the disease can be managed or is terminal but I would suggest always keep DD front and center in your thoughts and words and not the disease.

I also do not have children so I can't even imagine. I will tell you I just had two loved ones with a serious health crisis. I fell apart on my own so I could just follow their lead later when we were together. I find most people will tell or direct you to what they need or want. You just need to listen to what that might be.

Plaid Pants2 · ‎03-14-2015

I'm sorry for what your daughter is going through.

She needs your strength.

Save your tears for when you are alone.

Shop Till you Drop · ‎03-10-2010

I am so sorry you have this news to live with. This is my suggestion as I am the caregiver for my Mother who has a terminal cancer. I would let your duaghter know that you are borken hearted over this news and if you both need to share a cry your shoulder is there for her. But let her know you will be strong for her and available to go through the journey with her. that is all you can do.

cherry · ‎03-09-2010

I don't know what to say ,other than I am so sorry

If you have a clergy person you can talk to, they might be able to give you the best answer

If not, don't be afraid to talk to your DR . You are going through a terribe event, and might need something to help you cope

I can suggest a book. It might not be in print. I don't recall who wrote it. I think it might have been a Rabbi

It is title Why bad thigs happen to good people. I recall years ago, it being talked about on TV, in a very favorable way. The Rabbi had also lost a child, so his words come from a place of deep personal loss

God Bless You!

Hoovermom · ‎03-19-2010

I think sometimes the person who is ill will guide in the way they want you to treat them. I know some want to talk about it and get the "elephant" out of the room, while others act like nothing is wrong. I am so sorry to hear this news about your DD. Prayers that you will find comfort and strength in the trying days ahead.

D Kay · ‎04-20-2010

Pretending not to be sad becomes a tremendous burden. You wouldn't be human if you weren't sad. You probably would both benefit from a good cry. It's ok to be emotional when you need to and to put on a brave face when you have to.

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@shy bobcat wrote:
My DD is sick with an incurable disease. I am so sad. I want to do what is best for her. I don't know if I should force a brave face and intellectual conversation when my heart is breaking. I do not want to add to her worry if I were to let my feelings show. I would be a sobbing mess. I would appreciate your wise advice.

Where there is life there is hope. My suggestion is to research everything you can about the illness. Never let her see you cry. What she needs now is support and encouragement.

There are many incurable diseases. Many here have shared their struggles with auto-immune disorders that very much impact our lives. There is nothing like the support of people......don't give up. Try and stay as positive as you can. Even a terminal diagnosis isn't written in stone.

My best to you @shy bobcat. Hang in there..