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Honored Contributor
Posts: 23,863
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: My Husband Want To Postpone His Shoulder Surgery


@Alison Wonderland wrote:

@stevieb wrote:

With all due respect, I'm not sure it's about the OP being 'torn'... It's his shoulder and it should be his decision when and if he opts to have surgery on it.


I would agree, but it may also have an impact on her. If his mobility is limited and she will have to drive him to and from appointments, physical therapy, other events or help him shower or play nurse during his recovery, then it's a decision she should have a say in.

 

If it has no real impact on her time or schedule, it should be his decision.

 

It will have some very minor impact on her which I think falls under that "for better or worse" thing.  It's the definition of selfish to think your spouse should have his surgery when it's most convenient....for....you. 


 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,148
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: My Husband Want To Postpone His Shoulder Surgery

@chrystaltree 

 

I will have a huge imfact for me, he will be in a sling for 4-6 weeks, he will have to wear the sling 24/7, to allove the tear to heal

 


@chrystaltree wrote:

@Alison Wonderland wrote:

@stevieb wrote:

With all due respect, I'm not sure it's about the OP being 'torn'... It's his shoulder and it should be his decision when and if he opts to have surgery on it.


I would agree, but it may also have an impact on her. If his mobility is limited and she will have to drive him to and from appointments, physical therapy, other events or help him shower or play nurse during his recovery, then it's a decision she should have a say in.

 

If it has no real impact on her time or schedule, it should be his decision.

 

It will have some very minor impact on her which I think falls under that "for better or worse" thing.  It's the definition of selfish to think your spouse should have his surgery when it's most convenient....for....you. 


 


 

Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start being positive what could go right.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,669
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: My Husband Want To Postpone His Shoulder Surgery

I haven't read all of the posts so I apologize if this is a repeat.  Has your husband discussed postponing the surgery with his doctor?  It won't hurt to get his opinion on postponing it.

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam
Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,493
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: My Husband Want To Postpone His Shoulder Surgery

I don't blame him!

I've heard that shoulder and foot/ankle surgery are some of the most difficultSmiley Sad Not to be discouraging but I remember several times I wished the Dr hadn't said"it's not too painful." I guess I would have liked to have known the truth and been prepared).

I would like to enjoy at least several months of newly retirement too. 

 

"If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew. Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains? can you paint with all the colors of the wind?"
Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,822
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: My Husband Want To Postpone His Shoulder Surgery

 

@I am still oxox 

 

It's his shoulder, let him decide when he wants it done. Is there a pressing reason you "want him to have it done on 5-6-20"?  I've made my own decisions on all of my tons of procedures, many of which I had little choice. My wife set the date for her TKR and that was/is fine with me.

 

Guess maybe i am missing the whole point of your thread. Maybe I am more different than I thought in who makes decisions for whom, especially when it comes to the body of others, assuming their mental capacity is still in check.

 

 

 

hckynut

hckynut(john)
Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,822
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: My Husband Want To Postpone His Shoulder Surgery


@wishmoon wrote:

Recovering in the summer seems like a bad idea. I'd want to enjoy the summer weather and time outdoors and save the PT and recovery for poor weather.


 

 

@wishmoon 

 

There are a lot of men like myself that prefer "winter weather and sports". Before I retired I took all 5 weeks of my vacation in December and January.  Since it doesn't appear to be an emergency surgery, I don't get the big deal with @I am still oxox !

 

 

 

hckynut

hckynut(john)
Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,148
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: My Husband Want To Postpone His Shoulder Surgery

@hckynut 

 

We are married and decide things together, his surgery will impact me and our lives, its common courtesy to include you spouse in a major decision

 

 


@hckynut wrote:

 

@I am still oxox 

 

It's his shoulder, let him decide when he wants it done. Is there a pressing reason you "want him to have it done on 5-6-20"?  I've made my own decisions on all of my tons of procedures, many of which I had little choice. My wife set the date for her TKR and that was/is fine with me.

 

Guess maybe i am missing the whole point of your thread. Maybe I am more different than I thought in who makes decisions for whom, especially when it comes to the body of others, assuming their mental capacity is still in check.

 

 

 

hckynut


 

 

Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start being positive what could go right.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,521
Registered: ‎03-30-2014

Re: My Husband Want To Postpone His Shoulder Surgery


@I am still oxox wrote:

 

 

I will have a huge imfact for me, he will be in a sling for 4-6 weeks, he will have to wear the sling 24/7, to allove the tear to heal

 

 




 

Let's see, he will have surgery, he will have pain, he will have PT, he will have to learn to care for personal needs one handed, he will have a sling, and so on....

And you will be "impacted".

Not equal.

 

 

 

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,822
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: My Husband Want To Postpone His Shoulder Surgery


@I am still oxox wrote:

@hckynut 

 

We are married and decide things together, his surgery will impact me and our lives, its common courtesy to include you spouse in a major decision

 

 

@I am still oxox 

 

C'mon courtesy?  Got it!

 

 

 

hckynut

 

 

 

 

 



 

 


 

hckynut(john)
Occasional Contributor
Posts: 12
Registered: ‎07-16-2013

Re: My Husband Want To Postpone His Shoulder Surgery

Last summer, my right shoulder was in bad shape due to an injury and subsequent calcium deposits that formed. It truly was the worst pain I have ever had in my life. I spent half the summer recuperating and felt really cheated.  I understand if your husband wants to put it off because it is no fun sitting around while your shoulder is trying to heal, and you have to be super careful in every little move you make. If he is able to live with how his shoulder feels, putting off the surgery should be fine, unless the doctor says otherwise. Enjoy the summer when you can!