Wellness

[Pianomama]

My DH is in the later stages of Alzheimers, and today I began to research assisted living/memory care facilities. The one I visited was extremely nice but as I expected, very expensive. Our income could not accommodate such a price, but I figure there is help out there. BTW, I am investigating whether my husband would qualify as a veteran, being in the reserves for several years. Anyone been in this situation? Any advice? My husband is only 63 and does not qualify fir Medicare yet, even with disability. Thanks!

[Big Sister]

Your DH may qualify for Social Security Disability Income if he worked.

My sister qualified when she was disabled at 45, and she had worked before.

Try to make an appointment with your local SS office and discuss this with them. There will be a lot of paperwork for you to fill out, but it's important to get him qualified.

[CCo75]

I work in a senior community that focuses on independent living, but also offers memory care. Communities should be able to assist you, or discuss options with you when you tour the facilities.

You might try, and contact your local veterans office to see if your husbands time in service will provide any benefits.

Best wishes.

[violann]

The social worker at my mother's facility was a treasure chest of information. Also try your local government senior services agency. Prayers being sent.

[qualitygal]

All the above. Best of luck to you on your journey. Take care of you too.

[151949]

I agree with Violann but , in fact, there is little help for this type of care, and especially from medicare. If you did not buy nursing home insurance there is little out there for you.

You can try the VA but since the current war started they have really downgraded what the VA will pay for - and mostly the veteran has to be destitute.

[Gooday]

I can only relate the situation we had with my mom. After my dad and I looked at a few facilities in the area, we were forlorn and depressed. She was being discharged from the hospital after treatment for a horrible UTI which exacerbated her dementia. It broke our hearts because she had to be in the psych unit because an unsupervised medical floor could not keep an eye on her 24/7.

Anyway, as we were leaving a multistoried facility, I looked across the parking lot at a lovely ranch style facility. We were told it was for dementia patients who were ambulatory. We said, "duh...that's what we're looking for". It was a private pay facility. It was beautiful and my mom had a private room with a bed, dresser, closet, toilet/sink and a chair. This was in 2004-05. It was $4200.00 a month. My dad was able to write it off on their taxes. It took his pension check to cover the costs but it was worth every penny.

I realize how lucky we were to be able to cover this cost. Fast forward to present time. My dad is nearly 86 and in relatively good health with the exception of 2 cardiac surgeries. His mind is good. However, he had many stairs in his condo (we lived in buildings next door to each other) and he was having a difficult time. As a family, we decided a move to independent senior living was the way to go. He bought the apt. and pays a HOA which at first seemed really expensive but....the ONLY bill he has is for a telephone line. No taxes and no utilities. Also, if it gets to the point where he needs physical or dementia care in the future, he can transition to a different building on site.

We learned the hard way to plan ahead and thankfully, my dad is a reasonable and agreeable man.

So many of us baby boomers are faced with the care and decision making for our elderly parents.

Good luck with your husband. All the advice given above, is excellent. Help is out there.

[LTT1]

Have just been through some of this. We found out that mother-in-law was eligible for veteran's benefit due to DFIL status. Not much money, but some.

My husband and brothers are in the process of setting up a trust so she would qualify for medicaid if necessary. I am told the facility where she lived WOULD have some rooms for medicaid (impoverished) situations. I don't know if this is true... if ALL complexes are required to offer SOME percentage of rooms at a reduced rate.

Good luck... I hope you are able to find some accommodations for him. I was just told "Obamacare" by another household member...

[IEscapedLosAngeles]

As someone who was a caregiver for a person for years I'd say while investigating all these options, please don't forget to take especially good care of yourself. Prayers and good thoughts being sent your way.

[Gooday]

On 6/25/2014 lovestoteach said:

Have just been through some of this. We found out that mother-in-law was eligible for veteran's benefit due to DFIL status. Not much money, but some.

My husband and brothers are in the process of setting up a trust so she would qualify for medicaid if necessary. I am told the facility where she lived WOULD have some rooms for medicaid (impoverished) situations. I don't know if this is true... if ALL complexes are required to offer SOME percentage of rooms at a reduced rate.

Good luck... I hope you are able to find some accommodations for him. I was just told "Obamacare" by another household member...

You would be surprised the amount of Medicaid beds that are in these facilities. It's a fact of life. The best thing you are doing is getting your MIL's home in a trust. We got my mom's name off the deed of their place and put everything in a trust. Of course, you need an attorney to handle all this, which it sounds like your brothers have this together.

When a patient is Medicare, I don't think O'care even enters into it. That's one of the things they did not touch.

DH had an uncle whose wife was in a facility for her dementia. They had little money and she was put on Medicaid. He made a huge mistake and NEVER had her name taken off the deed. He died a few months prior to her passing and when the family went to sell the house, the state of Illinois had a lien on the property for the costs of her care. Talk about adding insult to injury. All the years they worked, lived in a paltry pension and SS and then BAM!